The New Intimacy

How have your orgasms changed as you've gotten older?

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Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
It's something I've pondered on recently, especially with playing with my toys and analyzing feelings for reviews. But my orgasms don't come as quickly as they used to when I was a teenager. At least they're definitely more satisfying even though they take more time and work. But I figure it might be an individual thing on how they change over time. Or is there a pattern with required time and effort and age? And this is for women and men alike. (I know that sex and medical experts say women hit their sexual peak around their late 30s/early 40s and mean in their early 20s so that might be an interesting detail to note.)

All of this has also made me consider getting a high-intensity vibrator like the Hitachi or Fairy wand because it seems every woman sings praises to them for quick and intense orgasms. But that's another question entirely. But feel free to include your input on that as well.

So, the main question is: How have your orgasms changed over a long time period?

(Private voting - because some people might not want to broadcast their answers.)
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
My orgasms take longer to reach now.
33
My orgasms take more work to reach now.
25
My orgasms don't happen at every sexual encounter anymore/less than before.
11
My orgasms are less intense/quicker to recover from now.
7
My orgams come sooner now.
12
My orgasms take less work now.
12
My orgasms happen during more sexual encounters than they used to.
12
My orgasms have become more intense/take longer to recover from now.
61
And, of course, "Other" (which I think deserves to be expounded upon in text).
10
Total votes: 183 (99 voters)
Poll is closed
08/27/2010
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Contributor: Sammi Sammi
Mine are definitely better now that I'm older, but I don't know that they come more quickly or more slowly. It seems for me that the more often I have sex, the longer the first one takes, no matter how high powered the toy. But the subsequent ones come a lot faster.
08/28/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Better with time so far
08/28/2010
Contributor: AU AU
My orgasms are sometimes pretty great, but the whole experience isn't as intense as it used to be in my late teens, early 20s. I can't imagine how things could have gotten more intense than it used to be! I think it's the opposite for a lot of people? I knew how to make my body happy from a pretty early age. But then a lot of things happened in my life, including depression. It kind of leached a lot of spirit from me. Motivation, sex drive decreased. I'm doing better now, but orgasms still are just a little trickier to reach. And sex is pretty infrequent...

Working on it...
08/28/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
It's something I've pondered on recently, especially with playing with my toys and analyzing feelings for reviews. But my orgasms don't come as quickly as they used to when I was a teenager. At least they're definitely more satisfying ... more
Mine take longer to achieve but are much stronger and more intense.
08/28/2010
Contributor: Fanny Fanny
Better and better!
08/28/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Mine are better now too, because I've finally put aside all my inhibitions and just let go. It's taken years to figure myself out and how to be comfortable in my own skin. I'd have to say I orgasm faster now than when I was younger because of the things I just mentioned.
08/28/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by AU
My orgasms are sometimes pretty great, but the whole experience isn't as intense as it used to be in my late teens, early 20s. I can't imagine how things could have gotten more intense than it used to be! I think it's the opposite for a ... more
Awww Well I wish you luck, Alura. I think loving yourself emotionally and physically could help a lot though. I'm here if you ever need to talk.
08/28/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Like a lot of the other ladies over.....30-35 or so, I have also found that my orgasms are a LOT harder to get to, take MUCH longer to get to, but usually are very intense (they always were, but it seems like I am entering an Altered State when I Come, even more than before.) However, subsequent orgasms in the same session are easy to get to, they are not nearly as intense as the first 1, 2 or 3, but they add to the Altered State.

I've been told by my man that I not only scream (when I'm trying not to) but of course, thrash around and once in a while I actually lose consciousness during an especially intense orgasm. From my point of view, I'm still conscious, but My Man says it seems like I'm "not here."

When it's really intense, my teeth chatter and I seem to babble afterward, and try to get him into position, I seem to have a hard time controlling my body for a few minutes. Don't even ask me to try to get up. I'll fall right on my ass! The shakiness and out of this world feeling can last for hours. *sigh*

I wish they were as easy as when I was younger. I used to have to ask My Man to slow down or do something different or tease me so I wouldn't have an orgasm too fast. (NO other lover ever helped me Come as consistently or as intensely as My Man, ever.) Then, after one really hard one, I would lose interest after my orgasm most of the time. THAT doesn't happen any more. I stay aroused for hours, if we continue to play. Back then I only got ONE, it was intense and easy to get. For a few very blissful years, I had easy orgasms AND multiple orgasms. I have to say, I do think they are usually very intense now. But, if I came earlier that day, or had a lot of orgasms in the 24 hours before, they are not as strong, usually. It depends. If I have had "bad luck" and don't orgasm, despite stimulation for several days, get OUT of the way when it finally happens. My Man says he is afraid I'm going to hurt either myself or him. I've banged my head on the headboard of our water bed and not even realized it until much much later in the day.

I also experience "After Shocks." Smaller orgasms, usually with little or no stimulation, that happen usually if I have an orgasm LAST and we are pretty much done with Play, and I'm just lying on his chest.

A few weeks ago, he had to pee after I came the first couple of times, he had to go into the bathroom and he could hear in the bathroom. He came back in the room and laughing, asked me, "Are you still getting off?" When I said yes, he got back to work.

08/28/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Like a lot of the other ladies over.....30-35 or so, I have also found that my orgasms are a LOT harder to get to, take MUCH longer to get to, but usually are very intense (they always were, but it seems like I am entering an Altered State when I ... more
...Wow. ...All I have to ask is: Where can I get that? I am so jealous! I'll take the head bangs on the wall or the babbling for those kinds of orgasms anyway! That's amazing! Hopefully mine will be like that in a few years!
08/28/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I also have to say, the Wahl Massager has been a lifesaver. I went through a bad patch, when my Orgasmic Threshold increased a while ago. Without the Wahl, I would probably rarely orgasm. My Man does all kinds of cool things, then when I get really close, we grab the Wahl, while he continues to help with penetration with his hands, a toy or his penis, and then as soon as I start to Come with the Wahl (which can take anywhere from 3 minutes to more than a half hour) My Man goes down and it increases even more.

The Wahl is one of the best things since sliced bread, IMO.

If I can't come at a certain time with the help of My Man and the Wahl, it ain't gonna happen that time.

Aren't we lucky to live in A Time where toys that help us though these problems not only exist but are really available?
08/28/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
As an older man I have far fewer orgasms. Due the difficulty of reaching orgasm I rarely masturbate any more - preferring to do that with my partner. The ability to 'regenerate' has gone from about 20-30 minutes in my 20s to about 12-24 hours now in my late 50s.

This is contrasted with my wife who's in her mid-40s whose orgasms are far more frequent and intense. When we were younger it was all about clitoral orgasms - but since we've learned about vaginal, g-spot & a-spot orgasms her orgasmic performance has sky rocketed.

It's safe to conclude that toys have been the key to developing her orgasmic reprtoire.
08/28/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I also have to say, the Wahl Massager has been a lifesaver. I went through a bad patch, when my Orgasmic Threshold increased a while ago. Without the Wahl, I would probably rarely orgasm. My Man does all kinds of cool things, then when I get really ... more
I agree!

Oh no, now I have to decide between even more options for a high-powered vibrator. I haven't been able to pick one to aim for yet. But there's the Hitachi, Fairy, Eroscillator, Wahl... I think that's most of them. I don't know which would work best for me yet so I'm just reading a LOT of reviews for now.
08/28/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
As an older man I have far fewer orgasms. Due the difficulty of reaching orgasm I rarely masturbate any more - preferring to do that with my partner. The ability to 'regenerate' has gone from about 20-30 minutes in my 20s to about 12-24 hours ... more
Awww but you're such a supportive partner to support her toy usage. Even when orgasms won't happen for me, I still LOVE to pleasure my partner. It's about enjoyment and not just a single-minded goal.
08/28/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
Awww but you're such a supportive partner to support her toy usage. Even when orgasms won't happen for me, I still LOVE to pleasure my partner. It's about enjoyment and not just a single-minded goal.
Of course, sometimes I feel bad, if it takes me a long time to Come. I'm always thinking "Is he getting bored? Why am I taking so long?" Of course, you aren't going to come properly with that negative self talk. So, I tell him to tell me it's "OK to come." It seems to help.

The other night, I took a while (about 30 minutes) to Come and I felt bad. Then, we went through about 30 minutes of anal sex,(he couldn't come yet) then he went and took a shower and we had PIV for about 3 minutes and he couldn't keep things going, so he put on a movie and it took an other 30 minutes of Head for him to finish. So, I think it all works out in the end.

We help each other, I love seeing him enjoy himself, and he adores watching and helping me, and loving and making love together is just amazing it's part of the whole Love thing....
08/28/2010
Contributor: TheCleansing TheCleansing
My orgasms have gotten a little more intense.
08/28/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Of course, sometimes I feel bad, if it takes me a long time to Come. I'm always thinking "Is he getting bored? Why am I taking so long?" Of course, you aren't going to come properly with that negative self talk. So, I tell him to ... more
Me too! Sometimes I take a while or I can feel that it's just out of reach and the stars aren't aligning or something and I start to feel guilty or embarrassed or worried about hurting his feelings. I know that thinking those things definitely make it harder to come though. And if I tell my partner that it's ok if I don't come, he just smiles and tells me to stop thinking like that and that he's ENJOYING pleasuring me and not to feel guilty. I love him. And hearing all that along with his charming smile helps me reach climax.
08/28/2010
Contributor: AU AU
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
Awww Well I wish you luck, Alura. I think loving yourself emotionally and physically could help a lot though. I'm here if you ever need to talk.
Thank you! I have pretty much climbed my way out of the hole, and I'm changed because of the time down there. In a good way, I think. I have regained some confidence, I am accepting parts of myself inside that I was unhappy with. I am learning to live with my mistakes and I'm moving on. Some of my problems go back to some situations that might have been very relevant conversation topics here. I wish I had joined this community a long time ago! So many people here are so kind and helpful. If I ever need advice, someone to listen, I will remember what you said. Thanks again.
08/28/2010
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
Mine have gotten sooooo much better! I have more multiples and different kinds than when I was younger. For me, sex at this age is the best it has ever been!!!
09/06/2010
Contributor: Trashley Trashley
Especially after using Smart Balls for so long, my orgasms are so much more intense and... longer... and happier! Can an orgasm be happier?
09/24/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Trashley
Especially after using Smart Balls for so long, my orgasms are so much more intense and... longer... and happier! Can an orgasm be happier?
I say yes! And who doesn't want a happy orgasm?
09/25/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
The timing is the same but I do find that they are WAY more intense now
09/26/2010
Contributor: onehotmomma onehotmomma
They have gotten better with time lol
09/26/2010
Contributor: pinkzombie pinkzombie
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
It's something I've pondered on recently, especially with playing with my toys and analyzing feelings for reviews. But my orgasms don't come as quickly as they used to when I was a teenager. At least they're definitely more satisfying ... more
Way better now that I am older. I know what to do to intensify everything.
11/11/2010
Contributor: SexyySarah SexyySarah
Well, I'm 26 and I think it's more the person I'm with then the age, but my orgasm as MUCH better then they use to be, but I think it's because my hubby enjoys me reaching orgasm, and is not one to get on then off.
11/13/2010
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I'm 25 and I have been masturbating since I was 12...so within that tiem frame not much has changed appart from finding my g-spot which makes some of my orgasms crazy powerful but other wise everything else has pretty much stayed constant.
11/14/2010
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
My orgasms take longer to achieve the older I get, but they are more intense and I am able to achieve different types of orgasm as well as multiples easily.
12/19/2010
Contributor: darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
I'm only about 6 years older than I was when I first started having sex, so I haven't really noticed any differences. The only thing I have noticed is that they are more intense.
12/19/2010
Contributor: sbon sbon
I'd say better with time. Most of them come sooner, probably because I know my body better now. I also know how to delat them if I want to. They're also much more intense.
12/21/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Mine take longer to achieve but are much stronger and more intense.
Actually update...apparently if you have an underlying but not massive bacterial imbalance you can experience difficulties in the orgasm department. It can also cause you to dry out quicker. Add to that the fact that BC pills can interfere as well and I was a mess! Not a problem now...I actually am able to make use of my Fascinator throe!
12/21/2010