not feeling an orgasm

Contributor: SilverIsis SilverIsis
My ex used to say that he almost never felt my orgasms. I would swear that I was having them ( I admit I might have exaggerated how things felt but I never faked) but that it felt different to me. Having orgasms with him were like intense waves rolling over my body whereas orgasming with my rabbit was like being electrocuted with pleasure. Since he was the only man to make sex for me feel good, I have no idea if the issue was me or him. Has this happened to anyone else?
10/13/2011
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Contributor: LQ LQ
Quote:
Originally posted by SilverIsis
My ex used to say that he almost never felt my orgasms. I would swear that I was having them ( I admit I might have exaggerated how things felt but I never faked) but that it felt different to me. Having orgasms with him were like intense waves ... more
Orgasms can vary a lot based on the time of the month, your mood, the source (toy vs. man), etc., etc. I have ones where my whole body shakes. I have ones where my vaginal muscles clench. So, those can be felt by a partner, yeah. But I also have ones that are more shallow, or just a short sort of twitch, and those probably aren't very noticeable. For years I didn't orgasm at all & don't recall anyone commenting, so consider yourself fortunate you had a partner who was paying attention.

I wouldn't say it was an issue with either one of you. It sounds like he was making a bit of an issue about it, but whether that was out of concern for your pleasure or his prowess or whatever, I don't know. If it ever comes up in the future, just explain as you did here. That you're enjoying yourself & how things feel to you, but that you just don't come in a way that's necessarily obvious. Make sure your lover is getting to know your body & responses instead of some idea of what "should" be.
10/13/2011
Contributor: SilverIsis SilverIsis
Quote:
Originally posted by LQ
Orgasms can vary a lot based on the time of the month, your mood, the source (toy vs. man), etc., etc. I have ones where my whole body shakes. I have ones where my vaginal muscles clench. So, those can be felt by a partner, yeah. But I also have ones ... more
Thanks. The man loved to give mixed signals, so I was never sure. My best guess was that his mind knew that there are some women who's orgasms are shallow, but his ego was very into having a "high score" wanting me to have more orgasms before he came.
10/13/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
I never orgasm with a partner, period, so I guess they never get to feel them! I do orgasm by myself, though, and I clench and ripple like mad.
10/14/2011