Orgasms can vary a lot based on the time of the month, your mood, the source (toy vs. man), etc., etc. I have ones where my whole body shakes. I have ones where my vaginal muscles clench. So, those can be felt by a partner, yeah. But I also have ones that are more shallow, or just a short sort of twitch, and those probably aren't very noticeable. For years I didn't orgasm at all & don't recall anyone commenting, so consider yourself fortunate you had a partner who was paying attention.

I wouldn't say it was an issue with either one of you. It sounds like he was making a bit of an issue about it, but whether that was out of concern for your pleasure or his prowess or whatever, I don't know. If it ever comes up in the future, just explain as you did here. That you're enjoying yourself & how things feel to you, but that you just don't come in a way that's necessarily obvious. Make sure your lover is getting to know your body & responses instead of some idea of what "should" be. less