The New Intimacy

What's an orgasm

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Contributor: Dragon Dragon
This may sound like a really strange question, but I'm having to actually evaluate it.

What exactly counts as an orgasm?

I think the individual involved *knows* but partners may not. Describing it may not be easy. How would you describe it? At what level does your body move - or not move do you call it an orgasm?

Or not call it one?
05/17/2009
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Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
This may sound like a really strange question, but I'm having to actually evaluate it.

What exactly counts as an orgasm?

I think the individual involved *knows* but partners may not. Describing it may not be easy. How would you ... more
This is a good question. There's no doubt with clitoral orgasms. G-spot orgasms are different though. Now its clear, but when I first started having them, they were so subtle. I wasn't sure if they counted.

My best go at criteria are a quick rise in temperature and contractions that I can feel if I have my hand on my abdomen. I'm really thin so I don't know if the latter will work for everyone.
05/17/2009
Contributor: Viv Viv
that's really hard to answer. I find that there are all kinds of orgasms. I can recognize clitoral orgasms by how rapidly they make my kegel muscles spasm. i feel those higher up, near the front of my belly. Gspot orgasm are more full bodied, like i can feel my entire lower half shudder. they're more in my lower spine. But i also feel like i have body orgasms (like through tantra and other practices) that are completely different than those centered between my thighs.

I tend to call it an orgasm when the sensation rises to a peak higher than all others and then breaks and i feel that shaking, i can't take anymore, i just need to breath feeling that i get after a normal clitoral orgasm. hope that makes sense.
05/17/2009
Contributor: Vibrator Happy Vibrator Happy
I feel contractions inside my vagina for a while after an orgasm. Sometimes there is a gushing of liquid. My good orgasms involve not being able to breathe for a moment as I am coming.
05/18/2009
Contributor: Perish Perish
For a male, i think an orgasm would be defined as to when the penis gets to the peak of it's pleasure, while the muscles in the nether region of the penis start to spasm creating a wonderful and powerful sensation, that makes you throw your head back in pure ecstasy.

An orgasm is a really hard thing to put in words in my opinion.
05/19/2009
Contributor: Fun Lover Fun Lover
It can be screaming or it can be simple and quiet for my wife each one is different, and also it depends on what part is being stimulated it can start from the ears down. Everyone is different. For me it is different it is the penis or anally nothing else works. The penis one can be wet and wild or it can be dry and still pleasureable, anally it always feels good if done correctly and you find his P spot.
05/19/2009
Contributor: Dragon Dragon
Thanks everyone. Any more thoughts?
05/24/2009
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
I'm fascinated by the men's answers. I don't think I ever thought about exactly what it feels like for a man.

Men, when you orgasm through stimulation of your penis, do you feel it only in your penis or is some of the sensation inside your body too? I'm just wondering how localized the sensation is.
05/24/2009
Contributor: Fun Lover Fun Lover
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
I'm fascinated by the men's answers. I don't think I ever thought about exactly what it feels like for a man.

Men, when you orgasm through stimulation of your penis, do you feel it only in your penis or is some of the sensation ... more
For me it is my penis ,balls, butt and P spot. I have some male friends that like their breasts played with. I think men are like women different strokes for different folks. I really enjoy giving pleasure more usually than recieving it. A lot of times I have a stronger orgasm from masturbation than regaular sex. I enjoy kissing and having a good massage.
05/24/2009
Contributor: Raven Raven
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
This may sound like a really strange question, but I'm having to actually evaluate it.

What exactly counts as an orgasm?

I think the individual involved *knows* but partners may not. Describing it may not be easy. How would you ... more
My clitoral orgasms are stronger than any other, and I feel a tingling heat (that's the best I can describe it) everywhere, especially my chest and arms. Also, the clit gets very sensitive afterward, like the head of dick does. I've read erotic romance novels that describe powerful bursts going up your spine, but I have never felt that. I feel like I am missing something.
06/08/2009
Contributor: Polyserena Polyserena
Great question DBD, and not so strange at all. I'd like to renew this discussion with some questions of my own as I have not settled my criteria yet either. Betty Dodson has stated that even with clitoral stimulation a lot of women are too harsh on themselves when it comes to acknowledging they have orgasmed. I believe myself to be one of these people. I receive very good stimulation from clitoral pressure which promotes my relaxation and gives very frequent weak muscular contractions but I doubt anyone looking at my face would be able to tell what was going on. ;-)
These days I have promoted myself to 'orgasmic' and I would call this a mild orgasm.

But it seems to me that the more intense the sensations are the stronger my muscular contractions are but also the fewer there are- like there is some kind of exchange system for intensity and frequency. If there is tenting of my uterus (as I have interpreted a feeling of sudden involuntary swelling in my lower abdomen) and there are any muscular contractions it feels like my entire reproductive system is in sway. That’s a lot of energy right there. Even without tenting the feeling can be exceedingly intense but often no muscular contractions result and those that do are sporadic.

I have renewed my interest in this as I have learned to squirt female ejaculate from my G spot, but without muscular contractions. Sure it feels good, but was it an orgasm? In a strictly traditional sense I would suggest not, but maybe the rules need changin'. I'd love to hear Tuesday's response.


My situation is complicated by the fact that my boyfriend is sure I am preorgasmic . I don’t really blame him for this as his past sexual partners must have been far more vocal about expressing their pleasure. He believes that I'd know if I orgasmed because orgasm is when you lose control for a few seconds. I’ve worked myself into a stupor before with moaning (and afraid of screaming and waking my parents haha) but without any muscular contractions. If you want to tell me whether by your standards I am preorgasmic or not it would be informative. Do you think my boyfriend could be largely informed by what orgasm feels like for him and is his criteria equally applicable to women?

Thanks so much.
11/11/2009
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
Quote:
Originally posted by Polyserena
Great question DBD, and not so strange at all. I'd like to renew this discussion with some questions of my own as I have not settled my criteria yet either. Betty Dodson has stated that even with clitoral stimulation a lot of women are too harsh ... more
Not 100% sure about your clitoral orgasms but the G-spot ones, in my experience, there are no contractions. Actually for me the opposite is true. It's more of a release and letting go, the sensations are localized but feel amazing.
11/11/2009