Relax, and don't expect (which is kinda like trying to force) yourself to have one. Take the pressure off of yourself and just enjoy.

Have you tried using any lubes?

What about a vibe that has both high and low vibrations and some patterns. Sometimes I can't just put a steady vibe on my clit and expect an orgasm. The pulsations and especially the escalations and rollercoaster patterns really get me warmed up and then I just move to the high for the grand finale.

I find it harder to orgasm from my g-spot on my own though, I find it takes a lot of rapid thrusting for me, or rocking.

My suggestions would be... link for clitoral and link for g-spot

It depends on what you mean by "hurt" I think. Sometimes before I come I'll get a weird feeling but it doesn't really hurt. Maybe for someone who has never had an orgasm it might feel like a pain? I don't really know though.

I think maybe the reaction with the sea horse was that it made was too much too soon? Some vibes can just be really way too intense. And if you don't know what you're looking for as an orgasm yet I think maybe less is more. Allow yourself to build up gradually to an orgasm rather then going straight for an intense rapid build type orgasm. I really think something with an escalation or pulsation pattern might work for you, it gives you a break from the vibration and acts as a tease of sorts so that it doesn't give you too much all at once. When I first started using bullets I always preferred the pulsations, now those feel too weak for me..but in the beginning they were what always got me to orgasm.

lots of great info, thanks alicia! i am too embarrassed to get this graphic with people i know....this board is great!
thanks again!

I know the feeling, I don't discuss this stuff nearly as in depth with people that I actually know. In fact I think they'd be shocked if they knew I even review sex toys lol

That puzzled me for awhile but then I tried out this oddly-textured glass wand and I'm pretty sure that I am starting to get it now. I think it's about the texture and the thrusting. With a vibrator you are focusing far more on the vibration and the texture takes a backseat to that feeling. I'm sure that other people have different reasons.

I am also sure that someone out there really can't handle a lot of or any vibration.

I agree with Kim! Although some vibes offer texture, the focus is more centered on vibration (and texture is secondary), whereas dildos offer texture as a focus in relation to thrusting and grip.

Take, for instance, my favorite dildo maker VixSkin. Their toys are extremely safe and hygienic, while still giving you the amazingly realistic feel of skin. Their dildos are also textured with veins, etc., to give you the most life-like experience possible. They're more on the expensive side, but they're totally worth it.

Yay, SassyLove! May there me many more to cum (hehe)

Sometimes during oral sex, we often just use dils or turn the vibe off. Sometimes we have the vibes on. I really like penetration, and he can't very well penetrate me, with his penis AND go down at the same time. Thus, a dildo is a good solution. (And, it's less drama than an other man in the room. )

Also, I have a High Orgasmic Threshold, due to peri-menopause. (It means that in the last year or so, it has been difficult for me to have an orgasm. It takes a LOT more stimulation and time than it used to.) We use an external "massager" vibrator for most of my first orgasms of the session, (The Wahl or the Hitachi) but I also NEED penetration to come, (the first time, after that, anything will make it happen) so we either use his hand, or a dildo, or a vibrator with the vibrations turned off. We realized that having the phallic vibe ON, plus the Wahl on my clit was actually too much.

So, when I am trying to come, we turn the phallic vibe off, or use a dil for penetration, as when we are doing this, he's usually holding me, because PIV sex is just not going to work at this moment. (If you saw the position we are in while usually doing this, you'd see why.)

Sometimes, during other activities, even during anal sex, just plain vaginal penetration is wanted with no vibrations. So, either a dildo, or a phallic vibe turned off (basically all phallic vibes are dildos, when they are not powered) works well for this. A lot of women use dildos for double penetration during anal sex.

Also, women who have female partners often desire penetration, as well. Sometimes the will want vibrations, sometimes not. And partners who practice "Pegging" where the women wears a dildo on in a harness to anally or orally penetrate her male partner is something a lot of couples enjoy. Dildos are really versatile toys.