The New Intimacy

Is there ever a time your lover really wants you, and you just tell them to "bugger off"?

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Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Even if I am not feeling in the mood, if they want some, I figure "why not"? If I am really not feeling well (or he isn't), I know he won't ask...as I wouldn't. WE respect each other that way.

However, we know a lot of couples where one partner simply "expects" services when desired.

SO..in your relationship, is there ever a time when ONE partner asks for sexual play and you tell them to "bugger off"???? OR does your partner ever do it to you?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
With us, if one wants to play, it is "always" a GO.
6
I simply let them know I don't feel well, and they won't ask.
12
Yes indeed, I need to tell them to "bugger off"
9
Other?
5
Total votes: 32 (27 voters)
Poll is closed
06/17/2012
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Contributor: Sir Sir
I do not make up false excuses. If I'm not in the mood, I say that exactly. I will tell them, "Stop, I am not in the mood right now." However, if I want it, I always get it. I generally respect the person's wishes if I can tell that they're not feeling well, but for the most part, I'm allowed to take them as I please.
06/17/2012
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Typically when I'm not feeling well, he knows I'm not feeling well and won't even be in the mood. He's too busy tending to me, really. Same goes for when he isn't feeling well.
06/17/2012
Contributor: solitudinarian solitudinarian
Unless I'm really unwell or I'm so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open, I'm usually in the mood. There are times when my boyfriend isn't up for it. I respect that.
06/17/2012
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
If I'm sick he normally won't ask. Unless it's just the sniffles. Sometimes I tell him to screw off if I'm in a pissy mood and just not feeling it.
06/17/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
We know when we do not feel well and don't push the issue. However right after an argument...hell no.
06/17/2012
Contributor: palindromic palindromic
There's only one time that sticks out in my mind. I had already had a full day of work and class (about 5 hours of class-related activities, then work). Then I had spent the whole evening, until about 11:00 PM, running a multi-band concert. I got back to my sweetie's place and they somehow thought it was a great time to try to have sex. Yeeeeeaaaaah, not so much. But usually they don't try it when I'm really exhausted or sick.
06/17/2012
Contributor: Arch600 Arch600
We both try to respect each other. If one knows the other isn't feeling well, we leave them alone. From the reverse perspective, if the other is showing interest, I think we both try to be accommodating when we are able, even if our preference would be to roll over and go to sleep. I don't remember a single instance when I regretted it afterward.
06/17/2012
Contributor: Badass Badass
We generally never tell each other no.
06/17/2012
Contributor: Geogeo Geogeo
I ask too often for massages, so I'm used to getting a 'bugger off' response when I'm just being a greedy brat.
06/17/2012
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
My wife tells me this on a bit too frequent basis. As for me, I go when she's ready.
06/17/2012
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
She wants it=she gets it, this does not work the other way around though. I am refused more often than not. Such is life for me.
06/17/2012
Contributor: Nirelan Nirelan
if im sick he wont ask and vice versa. if neither is sick or extremely tired and the other wants it, its a go
06/17/2012
Contributor: Nirelan Nirelan
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
We know when we do not feel well and don't push the issue. However right after an argument...hell no.
Oh yeah, after arguments..... or a day of bickering, HELL NO lol
06/17/2012
Contributor: pootpootpoot pootpootpoot
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
Typically when I'm not feeling well, he knows I'm not feeling well and won't even be in the mood. He's too busy tending to me, really. Same goes for when he isn't feeling well.
Same here! We know each other well enough that we can tell when we'll get a yes or no, so we almost never have to turn each other down.
06/17/2012
Contributor: Llahsram Llahsram
I tell her when I'm not in the mood.
06/17/2012
Contributor: KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
Everything is always a go in our house except for when health is a factor.
06/17/2012
Contributor: Bex1331 Bex1331
Never, im always up for it
06/17/2012
Contributor: 12345678 12345678
I think honesty is always the best policy, especially with this sort of thing. If someone just yelled at me to go away I'd probably be offended. And for the record, I'm basically always ready
06/17/2012
Contributor: CindyH CindyH
always give in if he wants it
06/17/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
Nope, she's pretty good at picking up when I'm not in the mood
06/18/2012