My parents had no advice or education, that was the job of the school. There were some good advice "rules" I had in high school.
1. If a girl smokes, she puts out.
2. If you are not getting laid, your standards are too high- lower them.
3. She will more likely put out (no to head)if she goes to church.
4. Goth or punk girls put out, or give head (three drinks required)
5. AlWAYS wear a condom.
6. if you can put your mouth on 3rd base you can get a home run.

My parents were useless, but my classmates were filled with one liners. they seemed harsh, but were fairly accurate. less

When I reached that age, my parents left a copy of a "What's Happening to Your Body" book on my bed, and then Dad came in to see me. He sat down on the edge of the bed next to me, never looking directly at me.

"Did you get the book?"

*yes, Dad*

"Ok. Good." There was a long awkward pause after which he finally said, gruffly, "So, you may have certain urges, now, sometimes. If you do, just remember; at least you know where your hand has been."

There was another pause while I tried to figure out what he was trying to tell me.

Then he took a deep breath and stood up, "If you have any questions the book won't answer, ask your mother."

Strangest. Conversation. Ever.

I've never forgotten it, he accomplished that much. less

Did your parents or other authority figures give you any interesting advice about sex? Share here, it doesn't matter if it's funny, serious, true, or false!

My favorites:

Mom: "If you sleep around, your heart will never get broken!" (To be fair, I didn't test this one out as I do not personally enjoy casual sex.)

Mom: "You should always check your underwear for little eggs. If you find some, it means you have crabs!" (I thought this was a tip everyone's mother told them, like, "Always carry a pad in your purse!" or "Don't let your drink out of your sight at a party!" until college. My mother had me believe that crabs were a common ailment that everyone gets, like the common cold or headaches.) less