Are compatible sex drives necessary for a healthy relationship?

Contributor: hippie hippie
My friends and i were talking about this, and most of us agreed that it should be because it could lead to harmful situations otherwise. But one of them strongly disagree, I was wondering what everyone else's opinions are.
03/01/2012
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Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
I think so. I've been in relationships where sex drives did not match up and it caused major issues.
03/01/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Major disparities (one having a drive and the other doesn't, like my marriage) do cause problems, there's no denying it.
03/01/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I think in most cases both people in a couple should have similar sex drives. If they don't resentment on both sides builds and I can't see how lovers can get along when one is always needing sex and the other is always trying to avoid it.

The worst my husband and I have ever gotten along is when I was on a drug which basically killed my sex drive (Depo Provera) and a few other times when my drive was very low. I usually have a very high sex drive and so most of the time we are compatible, but when we had issues it was like the 600 lb gorilla in the room and negatively effected our relationship at the time. We healed with our drives were synced and we were having sex very frequently again.
03/01/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Compatible sex drives are absolutely necessary for healthy relationships in my opinion. This is just my thoughts on staying in monogamous relationships because that's all I have experience with, but I can speak from experience on having mismatched drives and having it affect the relationship. I have always had a relatively low sex drive. My last boyfriend had a much higher drive than I did. It wasn't fair to me to always be pressured into having sex when I didn't want to, and we were mismatched because he wanted to have more sex than I did. It caused a lot of other problems because we would get together, he would try, I wouldn't be in the mood, and it would literally sour the entire weekend sometimes.

So I think that sex drives need to be compatible in long term relationships. Not being so can lead to a lot of resentment on both sides.
03/01/2012
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I know I have a higher sex drive then my present partner but I work things through with toys. If he sees me trying to get off, he will sometimes choose another toy for me but hopefully he will just join me.
It is over three years together and we have our rhythms........
03/01/2012
Contributor: TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
I definitely think it is high on the list of important things. My boyfriend has more sex drive swings than I do. When he has a high sex drive we are usually much happier, get into less arguments, and such. When it goes lower I feel more clingy and we both get on each other nerves.
03/01/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
I would agree, they need to be compatible. It leads to hurt feelings, insecurities and arguments when the drives are not in sync.
03/01/2012
Contributor: Secret Pleasure Secret Pleasure
I think so because when one person always wants sex more then the other it makes things akward and puts strains on a relationship.
03/01/2012