Disconnected from your sexual self?

The New Intimacy

Disconnected from your sexual self?

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Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Related to: 
The Naked Reader Book Club: Rewiring the Sexual Disconnect—How Surrogates Put People Back in Touch
G.L. Morrison said, this week on Sexis...

"Good Sex, Bad Sex. Sexuality even without the extra trappings of specific traumas or unconventional longings has a Madonna/Whore complex. Sexuality in our culture is vilified, warped, and repressed with one hand and deified with the other. Holidays such as Valentines Day, anniversaries, romance novels/movies/etc. tell you without love (or sex or couple-hood) you aren’t truly alive. The same way that sex is used to sell us everything, everything is used to sell us sex. The sanitized do it in the dark version of sex. Not the real blood and guts sex, full of emotional and physical messiness."

Do you agree or disagree with the idea that society sanitizes sex and serves to disconnect us from our own sexuality?

Do you think sexual surrogates can help people reconnect with their sexual selves?
04/28/2010
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Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
G.L. Morrison said, this week on Sexis...

"Good Sex, Bad Sex. Sexuality even without the extra trappings of specific traumas or unconventional longings has a Madonna/Whore complex. Sexuality in our culture is vilified, warped, and ... more
Most assuredly I agree! I was taught that the only sanctified love was between man and woman and only if they were married. Sex is supposed to be sizzling hawt and yet kept in the dark in the bedroom only. We are supposed to maintain a red hot passion for our mate but never masturbate or fantasize about other guys cause it's just unhealthy. If we meet someone else and we are miserable in our marriage we are supposed to suck it up and live with the pain like a martyr. We are never supposed to stop looking for love though...it's a mess!

I have never been a jealous person and I LOVE seeing the love other people have for my loved ones. I love sharing my joy and enjoyment of sex with others and I have a sex drive that is stuck in overdrive! I love to fantasize, play act, flirt, talk naughty and play around with my sexuality. All of this was roundly condemned when my sister was doing it and so I repressed and hid. Then I 'came out' as it were and now it's ok for my sister to do all this but it's terrible and wrong for me because I have kids!

Sexual surrogacy can help specific problems but we need to change our views in society and stop the disconnect from happening to see real results. We need to start giving people permission to be authentic, different, dynamic, and wonderful. It needs to be ok to be a sexual woman without being labeled a whore. It needs to be ok to be a nonsexual woman without being labled a frigid bitch.
04/28/2010
Contributor: Forbidden Light Forbidden Light
I totally agree! For some reason, we cannot express our sexuality without directly diminishing our other qualities. The more sexual I become, the less intelligent, spiritual and responisble become percieved by society.

This is why I think we try so hard to seperate our lives from our "sex lives"...We do not want to be discounted...
05/02/2010
Contributor: Elodie Elodie
I had to give myself permission to write about sex as the final step in getting over an incredibly long writer's block. There's this idea that if someone, especially a woman, writes descriptive sex scenes, that somehow cheapens her writing. When really it's often an integral part of character development.
05/02/2010
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I think there are many reasons people can be disconnected from sexuality, the same way people can be disconnected from their emotions. I'm not sure if I'd blame society; although, I am sure it can be one of those factors.
05/02/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
"Sexuality in our culture is vilified, warped, and repressed with one hand and deified with the other."

I agree 100% with this comment!
05/03/2010