The New Intimacy

Do you simmer or soar?

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Contributor: Booktease Booktease
A recently published article suggests that the way arousal works for men and women is very different. In fact, there are lots of sayings surrounding this idea: “Men are like light switches - just flip them on and they’re ready to go. Women are like irons - plug them in and let them warm up.”

Do you agree with this idea?

I have a hard time with gender, but the answers include 'female' and 'male'. Though I'm speaking biologically (since its a discussion on the biology of arousal), you can always just respond with a more detailed answer.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I am female and I simmer.
padmeamidala , Jul!a , BeautifulDarkness , Ryuson , JessCee , indiglo , LaLaLouise , bayosgirl , briluminary , Ghost , The Mother of a SiNner , ThoughtsAblaze , potstickers , Tessa Taboo , Envy , wetone123 , Katastophy , aliceinthehole , toxie m , Diabolical Kitty , Rarity , DreamWolf , ap-the-aper , Daemonin , Carolinagirl08 , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , gloomybear , underHim , deltalima , heather-mooney , Vanille , Geogeo
32  (56%)
I am female and I soar.
bluekaren , Coralbell , Eden C. , Eva Schwaltz , AngelvMaynard , Ansley , Antipova , MaryExy , js250 , G.L. Morrison , DeliciousSurprise , AndroAngel , GirlOnGirl , Bethy Cassatt , TheirPet , Cat E.
16  (28%)
I am male and I simmer.
Gunsmoke , LostBoy988 , thebest , Stinkytofu10
4  (7%)
I am male and I soar.
married with children , angel142stx , ninja250 , Falsepast , Trysexual
5  (9%)
Total votes: 57
Poll is closed
08/12/2011
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Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I know some women who soar, but I'm a simmerer.
08/12/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Booktease
A recently published article suggests that the way arousal works for men and women is very different. In fact, there are lots of sayings surrounding this idea: “Men are like light switches - just flip them on and they’re ready to go. Women are like ... more
I can do either. I have come to bed so turned on that I soar. Although sometimes I simmer.

My Man, when he was younger, always came to bed "ready." Now that he is older (he's an older man, he's in his early 50s) seems to do more "simmering" now. That's OK, it has lead to more marathon sex sessions. We both love this.

The other night, I, for some odd reason, didn't really feel completely in the mood. (Odd for me, I know that.) But, he wanted to make love so I thought, "I'll go along for the ride and if I come I come, if not, I'll just have a fun time helping him find his orgasm and teasing him."

It ended up being one of the best sex sessions in weeks. I mean, it's always good but this one was extra special. I had a slow burn going, and we accelerated into a fantastic experience that left both of us panting and gasping "OMG, that was amazing."

So, it depends on my mood, how long its been since the last time, where I am in my cycle and other factors.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I can do either. I have come to bed so turned on that I soar. Although sometimes I simmer.

My Man, when he was younger, always came to bed "ready." Now that he is older (he's an older man, he's in his early 50s) seems to do ... more
That's spectacular. I really love that about long term relationships; the getting to know a person during all the stages of their life. And I totally agree about just sometimes going along and ending up having an amazing experience. Sometimes that jump start is sort of needed to get going and I think that it isn't always a bad way to go.

And definitely. I'm so glad you mentioned your cycle. My partner is currently in a part of her cycle where she often needs more physical intimacy, but not necessarily sexual intimacy. Its always good to acknowledge that hormones can do very interesting things to a woman's body.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
I really do take a few minutes to get things going, while my boy really is more like a light switch!
08/12/2011
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
I either soar, or don't get turned on at all. My arousal is basically instant, and doesn't really build up over time. Sometimes all it takes is one thought or touch and I'm ready to go, and other times an hour of foreplay isn't enough to get me aroused.
08/12/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I do both, depending on how I feel, etc. Generally though, I simmer. In fact, we call it "transitioning&qu ot;. lol We just talked about this the other day, and now we have a deal - I tell him when I begin transitioning (and as I progress through the transitioning process), because sometimes he doesn't know I'm transitioning, so he'll go to sleep. LOL He said if he knows I'm transitioning (because I want to be with him that night) he'll help me as I transition and he'll be ready when I'm ready. He pretty much just flips a switch and is ready to go, though.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
It depends on how turned on I am already.
08/12/2011
Contributor: LaLaLouise LaLaLouise
I'm a woman and I chose "Simmer", but it depends. If I'm mentally turned on before physical stimulation comes into play, it takes practically no time to get going.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Used to soar - but now I simmer. Get'n old's a bitch.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
It's a little of both for me, but even though I'm female, if I want it then I want it now LOL.
08/12/2011
Contributor: LostBoy988 LostBoy988
I am male but i must admit it depends a lot on the situation.
08/12/2011
Contributor: briluminary briluminary
female, definitely takes me a while...
08/13/2011
Contributor: The Mother of a SiNner The Mother of a SiNner
Quote:
Originally posted by Booktease
A recently published article suggests that the way arousal works for men and women is very different. In fact, there are lots of sayings surrounding this idea: “Men are like light switches - just flip them on and they’re ready to go. Women are like ... more
I simmer
08/13/2011
Contributor: thebest thebest
male, simmer
08/13/2011
Contributor: js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by Booktease
A recently published article suggests that the way arousal works for men and women is very different. In fact, there are lots of sayings surrounding this idea: “Men are like light switches - just flip them on and they’re ready to go. Women are like ... more
I usually soar the first couple times and then I can keep it to a simmer.
08/13/2011
Contributor: G.L. Morrison G.L. Morrison
Orgasms are more reliable when I "take my time" but I'm not known for my patience. I'm like "I want x and I want it NOW".
08/13/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I'm a simmer type of gal.
11/13/2011
Contributor: PrettiGirlRock PrettiGirlRock
I didn't vote because I can fit into either category. I think it just depends on my mood.
11/13/2011
Contributor: averageguyextrodinarypleasure averageguyextrodinarypleasure
I'm a male and it doesn't take me long to get excited
11/14/2011
Contributor: ninja250 ninja250
Male, and I'm always ready. She takes a little longer.
01/12/2012
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
I'm female-bodied. It takes me a couple seconds to become aroused. It takes me a minute or so to orgasm. I can keep having orgasms, though, so in this analogy would that be a rolling boil?
01/12/2012
Contributor: Daemonin Daemonin
It honestly depends, but I'm generally simmering. There are some instant turn-ons, but not many. Gotta warm up.
01/12/2012
Contributor: PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I simmer. Unless it is something I am really in too.
04/07/2012
Contributor: gloomybear gloomybear
i definitely simmer
04/10/2012
Contributor: deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Booktease
A recently published article suggests that the way arousal works for men and women is very different. In fact, there are lots of sayings surrounding this idea: “Men are like light switches - just flip them on and they’re ready to go. Women are like ... more
Seems kind of general for me.
10/16/2012
Contributor: Falsepast Falsepast
i'm pretty much ready whenever
10/16/2012
Contributor: Bethy Cassatt Bethy Cassatt
If I'm even slightly simmering and someone starts playing with me, I'm on. Done.
10/16/2012
Contributor: Trysexual Trysexual
I'm male...I can soar or simmer...but Definitely agree with your generalization to some degree...but there are exceptions to everything.
10/16/2012
Contributor: TheirPet TheirPet
I tend to soar but since I've been put on these new meds I tend to simmer more.
10/16/2012