Shouldn't it be a collaborative effort? For both partners as well?

A man or woman does not 'make' the orgasm for the other. Not all women can orgasm from PIV sex, and usually if a woman lacks an orgasm, it could be because she's not getting the right stimulation, and that can either fall on her not knowing her body well enough or the guy not being open enough to exploring her or her saying what she likes so that he can help her climax.

I think in the end it really comes down to communication and trust and learning with each other, not that it falls completely on the guy. Because if you think that, then essentially it's like saying, well she didn't orgasm so her guy must not be very good in bed because he failed to make her climax, which is a BS way of looking at it.

I kind of wanted to pick "yes" and "other" both. Yes, certainly your partner has something to do with it. But, when I read the topic I read it sort of wrong and thought "Bah! Like I'm going to wait around for him to get it right, when he is obviously clueless?" Hehe.

Anyway... I used to rarely orgasm with a partner. Rarely from oral sex, but never from penetrative sex. A lot of the things holding me back were mental... I'm a control freak & the vulnerability was not comfortable for me. Basically I needed to give myself "permission" to orgasm. *insert long story involving online relationship* With the online situation, I was able to go at my own pace without worrying someone was staring at me, or I was doing something wrong. When I did orgasm, nothing terrible happened, so I became more comfortable with it. And since then I've been able to come quite easily. If the guy I'm with isn't doing it for me, I can still generally make it happen for myself. Of course, I try to avoid those situations - I'd certainly rather have more of a give and take with both people.

here's the thing... orgasms are both the product of a mental state and a physical state. A lot of women don't orgasm not because they have crappy partners, but because women don't know how to reach that orgasm, i.e. they may have a prior experience that makes it difficult or impossible to orgasm, or they may suffer from a physical disorder, ect.

I've orgasmed with almost all my partners, and it's not because they were all sex gods. I don't put the pressure on the male to make me orgasm; i learned enough about my body and mind so that I can reach that state.

i think women need to stop placing all of the burden on their partners to "make them orgasm." it's our bodies, not theirs. we know what works and what doesn't. women need to step it up and figure out what they need to do so that they can have that "o" moment, be it dealing with stuff from the past, using toys to assist, or being more sexually honest with yourself. and then communicate that with your partner so he/ she can help reach that state as well

I think it's a combination of both people I really think that the woman has to let herself have an orgasm but the man can definately aid in relaxing her and bringing her to the point where she does. Orgasms seem more like a mental thing than a physical, you really have to relax in your mind and allow it to happen

I don't think that the man makes the orgasm at all for a woman. I'm of the Betty Dodson school of thought that says ladies gotta learn it for themselves first. Then if they choose to take that experience out and share it with a man or a woman or any other kind of combination, that's nice and can be really fun!

I'm also a believer in setting space and time for activities to happen (sex, for example). And sometimes I find it tricky to be that intentional when I'm by myself. Sometimes partner sex is good because it provides focus for people to get down to it!

For the most part..

Yes, definitely

I definitely have to be into the guy and find him attractive otherwise I will not orgasm. The actual act of sex might feel alright, but if I'm not into him or it, it's no going to happen.