I have had definite periods where I felt I just did not measure up...granted, after over 17 years together, the part that was the hardest was that I did not measure up to myself in the past. My husband was immensely helpful and reassuring during these times and I did eventually get my confidence back. It can be pretty intimidating when faced with past performances, experiences and current issues--from other posts of yours, it sounds like you have a good relationship base. Life can get in the way and cause insecurities--patience , understanding and playing together with no pressure can go a long ways to bridging them. less

What is something he has as a part of his life that makes you feel inadequate due to lack of knowledge and experience? (You do not have to answer that here, just to yourself...).

With my husband it was his musical abilities and talent. I am sooo non musically inclined that it made me feel completely foolish and inadequate. I have had him explain and try to teach me just basics but that did not work to make me more comfortable either. Then he explained each of his guitars, the features, why they were unique and the ones he wanted...I found my niche in his interest. I have a phenominal gift for facts and research. I can now find the guitars he may be interested in for him, scan out the ones he would not be interested in and he can then pick and choose the ones he wants to actually purchase without the hassle of weeding the others out. No--I still can't play them or want to, but I do enjoy listening to him play and finding new treasures for him.

This can be applied to your sexual life as well. Your boyfriend may feel like he will never 'catch up' or be equal to you in experience. However, if the two of you could find some common ground--an area you both could be interested in exploring together and learning about it would do wonders for his sense of equality and security. I was a late developer sexually due to having a painful disease when I was younger. I had endometreosis and anything close to orgasms were very painful for hours afterwards. It wasn't until AFTER my hysterectomy at 22 that I figured out what all the fuss was about--and I haven't looked back!

That set me way behind experience-wise and I have felt pretty embarrassed and inadequate about that until my husband and I really found our enjoyment of toys together. We usually only use them together, we masturbate together and plan scenarios and fantasies for future fun. (Some of them for fun at the time only--but the closeness we have developed through everything has become amazing.) We have been through some very rocky and painful things over the last 17 years, but keep working together to change for the better (he has been sober now for 4 months!) and still find new areas that are still within our personal boundaries to explore. less

I've been with my husband since I was 13...and we've only ever been with each other. So there's nothing for us to compare anything to. Sure we've had our ups and downs...and both had issues with things not working properly but that's part of life. We've grown up together in ever sense..even sexually. I feel like we're both growing up even more sexually after having 3 kids and deciding we don't want anymore. He is some what intimidated by some of our toys but that's just bc he's a dude and still to this day cannot comprehend that we (women) are a little more complex than men. He probably doesn't even think I masturbate.. less

I was with my ex husband for almost 13 years and I felt inadequate the entire time I was with him. He made me feel like that, though. I was never the only woman like I should've been, and the relationship lasted much longer than it should have because of that. When I met my fiance, all of those feelings of inadequacy left. He are open with each other and like to try new things and we both strive to please each other. We don't leave any room for doubt with each other and our sex life is beyond amazing!!

Now for men who are intimidated by his woman's toys--from a woman's point of view, don't be!! I am more than happy with my finance's dick, but I use toys all the time! He works offshore and is gone for 2 wks and then home for 2 wks. I usually masturbate quite a bit when he's gone, but when he gets home, we use toys during sex in a regular basis, too. We don't use toys because we're not happy with your dicks. We use toys bc they give us sensations that we can't get from your dicks. If your dicks had raised bumps, swirls around it, vibrated, pulsed, or had beads that rotated in them, etc. we wouldn't need toys! I enjoy using my toys alone and with my man, but when I use them with him, it's just foreplay! I want him when we're done every time! There's no substitute for the intimacy of sex with my man! That's a feeling no woman can get from a toy! less