Getting wet takes a very long time...

Contributor: happywaffle34 happywaffle34
I feel like there is something wrong with me. If I get wet its a long process to get there and a lot of the time I do not get wet at all. During intercourse I do become more wet though. It gets my boyfriend really frustrated and I sense that it makes him feel insecure - which makes me feel horrible. I'm only 20. Is there something wrong with me?
01/25/2013
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Contributor: RedKyuubi RedKyuubi
Absolutely not. Some people are just different then others. It is actually quite common for women to take a long time to get wet, or for it to not even happen. I would suggest looking around the web a bit until you find a good article on it. And show it to your boyfriend. Make sure he knows that you are attracted to him, want to have sex, but it is just your physiology.

Also invest in some lube, so you never have issues having sex when you both want to.
01/25/2013
Contributor: naturegirl naturegirl
I agree with the above...I'm one of natures soakers, I'm very lucky! But I know of several women who have to supplement their vaginal secretions with lube. It's just the way we are!
01/25/2013
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Are you finding that there are certain things that get you there more than others? Are you and your boyfriend taking enough time for foreplay? Sometimes it can be simple enough as taking a little extra time to allow yourself to relax and get excited.

I know that a lot of women have issues with naturally lubricating. Fortunately, there's a wide variety of lubricants on Eden that are very natural feeling. Read through some reviews and do a little shopping around, you should find something that looks like it will work for you.

I agree with finding some articles for your boyfriend to read. It's a VERY common problem and one that you don't have any control over. I hope you two are able to find a solution.
01/25/2013
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
Some women just need more time than others. When I was younger, I thought I was bizarre because of just the opposite--everything made me wet. I was so paranoid everyone I slept with would make fun of me because I could get wet just cuddling. Turns out, no one really cares if you're super wet or not, because everyone is different!

Perhaps you're not doing enough foreplay to get you wet, or you aren't really aroused enough. However, if you're frequently orgasming and you do a lot of foreplay, it's probably just that you naturally do not get that wet. There are plenty of lubricants to help with that even if it's just to get started before yours kicks in.
01/25/2013
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
You're perfectly normal, don't worry about a thing! Everyone is different, and it's actually not uncommon at all for women to take a while to get wet, or having trouble getting wet at all. Age isn't the only factor in this, either: mood, diet, and medications can also affect how easily you get wet. Odds are, it's just the way you are naturally.

And let your boyfriend know about this. It's no reason at all for him to feel insecure, or for you to feel bad about it. Also, there's no shame in using lube, no matter what age you are!
01/26/2013
Contributor: happywaffle34 happywaffle34
Quote:
Originally posted by happywaffle34
I feel like there is something wrong with me. If I get wet its a long process to get there and a lot of the time I do not get wet at all. During intercourse I do become more wet though. It gets my boyfriend really frustrated and I sense that it makes ... more
Thank you everybody for your feedback! I am taking it all in deep consideration. Its just so frustrating and I hope it gets better. I will look and see which lube I should use, and hopefully he will not get offended.
01/27/2013
Contributor: sillylilkitten sillylilkitten
I have the same problem, and I always feel like the guys I'm with feel bad about themselves because they don't think I'm turned on when I really am. I've learned to just let them know that that's how I am, and it's not a reflection on their sexual prowess. They usually believe me and we just use some lube or go back to foreplay. In a way, I'm glad I have this problem, because I really don't like making a mess.
01/27/2013
Contributor: KayYJelly KayYJelly
Quote:
Originally posted by happywaffle34
Thank you everybody for your feedback! I am taking it all in deep consideration. Its just so frustrating and I hope it gets better. I will look and see which lube I should use, and hopefully he will not get offended.
Just talk to him about it, honestly
I have a very difficult time getting wet, to the point where it becomes a turn off for me because I just get frustrated and fed up. My mind wants to have sex, but my body doesn't want to comply. But I had a really long talk with my boyfriend after a few no-go sessions and explained to him that even though I wanted nothing more than to jump him right then and there, my body wasn't listening.
He understood (with a lot of reminders about how sexy I found him and how much I wanted him, and how frustrating it was for me to not be able to get wet), and we invested in some lube, and now our sex life is awesome again !!
Seriously, taking the time to get some foreplay going and breaking out a nice bit of lube to help and it takes the stress away of not being able to perform. You can relax and let the lube do that part of the work for you !

Just be careful with the lube you buy, some are less than safe (watch out for glycerin and parabens). Sliquid is really safe and feels natural, and Eden sells it !
01/27/2013
Contributor: misterazor misterazor
Quote:
Originally posted by happywaffle34
I feel like there is something wrong with me. If I get wet its a long process to get there and a lot of the time I do not get wet at all. During intercourse I do become more wet though. It gets my boyfriend really frustrated and I sense that it makes ... more
you are normal. my wife is the same. keep lube handy, and all will work out. i was not a big fan of lube...it would be sticky or dry up too quickly...i didn't like having it on my hand, 'cause then i would not want to touch her anywhere and get lube all over her... it takes some getting used to, but it was not difficult to overcome with some communication and experimenting with types of lube...maybe have a wet cloth handy in case the lube gets sticky...

then again, maybe a little more foreplay. there's no need to rush into it all of the time. maybe he needs to spend some time working you up before he heads downtown. again, communicate. he gets frustrated because you are how you are...maybe he'd be less frustrated if he was not getting any. just a thought.
01/27/2013
Contributor: Fluffy Snuggles Fluffy Snuggles
Just remember that everyone's different. There's nothing wrong with you at all. However, I'd recommend either experimenting on your own or with your boyfriend to see if certain kinds of stimulation get you wetter than others.
02/03/2013