Getting what you want..?

The New Intimacy

Getting what you want..?

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Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
How do you let your lover know if there is some activity you specifically want?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I just go with the flow. What happens, happens.
Sir , gehuwd , MaryExy , Miss Anonymous , Jobo , DreamWolf
6
I speak and tell them what I am interested in them doing to me
Coralbell , Alan & Michele , That Man from Mars , slynch , pixieluv , Jimbo Jones , Liz2 , newfoundlust , PassionQT , padmeamidala , Gunsmoke , Sir , Akira , ToyBoy , Pinkhare , deletedacct , guard083 , Lady Venus , Jul!a , Mikey Likesit , DeliciousSurprise , ToyGurl , eggiweg , Leila Eden , Dusk , gehuwd , UunicornN , Rossie , Airen Wolf , lovemuscle n cookie , darthkitt3n , NarcissisticLust , Darling Jen , ZenaidaMacroura , ss143 , Yoda , Eucaly , Miss T , indiglo , The Curious Couple , MN58 , Karen Affeldt , CSEA , Yessi , Fun Lover , Donord , stlouisxxx , Lummox , sarki , potstickers , ~LaUr3n~ , Mew , iwantyouwantingme , ThoughtsAblaze , DreamWolf , SexyStuff
56
I direct their body part to mine...non verbal (put hand A on part B)
Coralbell , Alan & Michele , slynch , Jimbo Jones , Liz2 , newfoundlust , LikeSunshineDust , froggiemoma , Gunsmoke , Ajax , ToyBoy , deletedacct , guard083 , TameTemptress , Lady Venus , DeliciousSurprise , ToyGurl , eggiweg , jakjak , UunicornN , Airen Wolf , CAKES , darthkitt3n , ss143 , big b , indiglo , Karen Affeldt , Lummox , ThoughtsAblaze , DreamWolf
30
I might move so that it is obvious I want this or that "part" attended to
Coralbell , Alan & Michele , slynch , Jimbo Jones , Liz2 , newfoundlust , LikeSunshineDust , Gunsmoke , Ajax , ToyBoy , Lady Venus , ToyGurl , Airen Wolf , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , darthkitt3n , Darling Jen , indiglo , CSEA , Lummox , DreamWolf
20
Total votes: 112 (67 voters)
Poll is closed
06/08/2011
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Contributor: pixieluv pixieluv
Sometimes, I don't just speak, I yell!
06/08/2011
Contributor: newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
How do you let your lover know if there is some activity you specifically want?
We do a combination of all 3 of the bottom ones. We originally both tended to do the top (nothing) but that didn't work for either of us. It can be tough to admit what you want, but we are both getting better at it.
06/08/2011
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
I find it better to be direct, not as in "you aren't doing it right!", but "ohh, I'd love it if you did this!". Once you are comfortable enough knowing what works for you, it gets easier speaking up.
06/08/2011
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
Sometimes body language is enough, but I'm definitely not afraid to speak up about what I want.
06/08/2011
Contributor: froggiemoma froggiemoma
body language usually works
06/08/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I use to try more subtle clues - but she wasn't getting it, so I'm more direct now.
06/08/2011
Contributor: Sir Sir
I either tell the person point blank, such as, "Get on your knees and suck me," or I go with the flow of how things are moving. When it comes to performance, I usually give the person a bit of time to adjust to me, but if they still do not know what they're doing, I'll tell them exactly how I need whatever they're doing. Such as, "You're doing this good, but try doing this and it will feel much better."
06/08/2011
Contributor: Ajax Ajax
I usually just direct the person non verbally. I don't want to demand anything, but if it's not quite right i'll guide them a little or make a slight adjustment.
06/08/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I tell him outright and he does the same. Yay for communication
06/08/2011
Contributor: Leila Eden Leila Eden
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I tell him outright and he does the same. Yay for communication
Same here, Sam!
06/08/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I tell him outright and he does the same. Yay for communication
Same for me and my husband.
06/08/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
How do you let your lover know if there is some activity you specifically want?
I have tried the go with the flow but it never seems to work and I get frustrated and then my guys tell me that I should just ask....and call me moron or somesuch....
06/08/2011
Contributor: CAKES CAKES
Sometimes I just gesture to let him know what I want.
06/08/2011
Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
My guy is usually explicit about what he wants, but I definitely go with the flow. Focusing on what he likes to do is a big part of what keeps me turned on.
06/08/2011
Contributor: NarcissisticLust NarcissisticLust
We talk in a sex neutral time and space. I don't want to whip out some crazy fantasy in the middle of getting it on if I don't think he'd be ok with it without a discussion.
06/08/2011
Contributor: Bunnycups Bunnycups
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I tell him outright and he does the same. Yay for communication
I think that's the best way to go about it.
06/08/2011
Contributor: Sir Sir
Communication is very good, when it's mutual and constant!
06/08/2011
Contributor: ss143 ss143
Communication is key and sometimes actions speak louder than words
06/08/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
How do you let your lover know if there is some activity you specifically want?
I have to speak and give very explicit directions. He doesn't get nonverbal cues even slightly.
06/10/2011
Contributor: big b big b
show them
06/10/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I tell him outright and he does the same. Yay for communication
I know, right? lol We communicate too... it's magical!

We talk about it when we're not having sex too. I'll tell him something specific that I like, and he tells me he can't wait to do it to me. Then, when we're in the moment, I'll sometimes ask him: do you want me to ____ or ____ and then he'll tell me which option he'd prefer, or give me another idea I hadn't thought of. Sex between 2 people is meant to be that way, I think. And it sure keeps us both happy!
06/10/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
We are all about verbal communication. It's a turn on for us!
06/10/2011
Contributor: MN58 MN58
its easier when it verbal
06/10/2011
Contributor: Yessi Yessi
i just tell him what i want.
06/16/2011
Contributor: Fun Lover Fun Lover
Ask and you may recieve?
06/16/2011
Contributor: stlouisxxx stlouisxxx
It's all about communication.
06/18/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
I talk sometimes. Sometimes I just go with the flow.
06/18/2011
Contributor: sarki sarki
I don't mind telling them what to do
06/19/2011
Contributor: Jobo Jobo
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
How do you let your lover know if there is some activity you specifically want?
ill just wait till shes clearly ready for anything sexual and then slowly sneak in what activity i want lol
10/19/2011