Hard sex talking, Why do you like it woman?

Hard sex talking, Why do you like it woman?

Moein Moein
I and my wife are wondered about the "hard sex talking" that men may talk to their lovers during, before, or after sex.

Hard sex words a man could forward to his lover like:
Dirty little whore
Dirty slut
Bitch
My fuck toy
Filthy things
Little dirty
Ass hole
Jerk
And others..

This thread is for a women -married or non- who like hearing such words during, before or after Sex.

We just need to find out some possibilities about the reasons make women like to hear it:

Thanks for your voting
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
He is strong and I am week, so it is normal for me to hear such words by him
1
I want to please him any way, so if he likes this way so no problem
3
I am a woman, it is normal for me to feel Masochism
1
I heared it in a movies and like to clone the feelings that I saw
I like to feel like a street hookers
It opens my mind for new sex imagination and makes me a different woman
7
I don't know why I like to hear it, but it makes me feel good
32
I have other reasons make me like it -please explain it-
9
No, I don't like it and its hurt my feeling and wish he didn't say it
3
Total votes: 56 (45 voters)
Poll is closed
02/12/2011
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SexyTabby SexyTabby
I would love it if Hubby would talk more but he doesn't do it often. I do most of the talking and I do refer to myself as his fuck toy and a bitch. I do stay away from whore and slut because they really don't appeal to me. I also don't go down the road of jerk or anything of that nature. I call the Hubby names that are personal to us and not main stream but of the same nature. I also only do actual name calling once in a while not all the time.

Mostly I do it cuz I just like it. I love hearing it love saying it. There's a part of how intriguing it is to him that makes it fun too. Doesn't belittle or degrade just makes me feel desperately wanted by him I guess. His eyes get big and his desire becomes crazy passionate. He has some deep need to lay claim to his lil fuck toy.

Just makes our love more intriguing but the same can be said for simply using each others real name. It's more about the spice that goes with it.
02/12/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
It works in a lot of roleplaying situations. There's really no selection that you have that fits for me. I don't enjoy being degraded and my partner is a bit of a feminist, but we play. Sometimes it helps set the scenario; especially in a power-struggle situation.

In most situations, I would be baffled if he called me a bitch or a dirty, whatever. In play, it works.
02/13/2011
Moein Moein
Quote:
Originally posted by Lucidity
It works in a lot of roleplaying situations. There's really no selection that you have that fits for me. I don't enjoy being degraded and my partner is a bit of a feminist, but we play. Sometimes it helps set the scenario; especially in a ...
I see

So in your inner feelings you don't like it, but you pass it away for fun.

Do you feel intimate with your body rather than your heart and feelings?
02/13/2011
Dusk Dusk
Depending on the situation, I like hearing a lot of these in play. When we're in scene and we've both consented to it being degrading or with M as my dominant, it works really well. I like being able to step outside my normal box and feel dirty and sexy in a different way.
02/13/2011
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
I and my wife are wondered about the "hard sex talking" that men may talk to their lovers during, before, or after sex.

Hard sex words a man could forward to his lover like:
Dirty little whore
Dirty slut
Bitch
My fuck ...
It makes me feel sexy.
02/13/2011
Moein Moein
Quote:
Originally posted by Dusk
Depending on the situation, I like hearing a lot of these in play. When we're in scene and we've both consented to it being degrading or with M as my dominant, it works really well. I like being able to step outside my normal box and feel ...
Ok, Dusk

your reply is more related to this choice:

6- It opens my mind for new sex imagination and makes me a different woman
02/13/2011
IrishLassie IrishLassie
I don't know. For me it depends on the situation. I'm not too keen on being called names, but when we are doing a scene or when I just want to make my husband cum whether I do or not, I REALLY like it when he starts talking dirty to me and calls me his sex slave or his sex toy. except for being called a whore or slut, I'm all into it. It can be really hot and put me over the edge :-D
02/13/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I love it when my husband uses most all those phrases (minus asshole, and jerk), but he also uses more that I completely adore (some people might shudder if they heard them)! He will often whisper them in my ear when we are in public to gently remind me of what is on his mind and it will make me smile and make my heart skip a beat.

I love it that he completely and utterly adores me and that I am all those roles for him. Do not get me wrong, it absolutely does NOT make me feel like a different woman. I am all those things with him, but I am so much more. I am a sensual lover and someone who likes to be taken care too. I love to show him that I can be dominate and take what I want from him sometimes.
02/13/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
I see

So in your inner feelings you don't like it, but you pass it away for fun.

Do you feel intimate with your body rather than your heart and feelings?
No, that's not it at all... I suppose if you don't roleplay, it's difficult to fathom. But we pretend to be different people, it's fun and it's sexy. The characters we play interact differently than we do in our every day lives; it allows us to explore more intense feelings and actions in a fun, safe way.

I feel intimate with my body, heart, feelings and soul at all times with my partner.
02/13/2011
Moein Moein
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
I love it when my husband uses most all those phrases (minus asshole, and jerk), but he also uses more that I completely adore (some people might shudder if they heard them)! He will often whisper them in my ear when we are in public to gently ...
This is a very clear and nice explain,

I am sure you are a happy wife. If I am not wrong you are some kind of rare wifes who consider the marriage value over her own self. You combine the feelings of you two, and care about it.
02/14/2011
SexyStuff SexyStuff
We still have to try this some day.
02/14/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
I and my wife are wondered about the "hard sex talking" that men may talk to their lovers during, before, or after sex.

Hard sex words a man could forward to his lover like:
Dirty little whore
Dirty slut
Bitch
My fuck ...
I like the sound of my partners voices when they use filthy language. The difference between their normal speaking voices and their 'only for sex voice'.
I also like the way it makes me soften and feel loved...it's odd really the filthier they are the more I know they love me because they use phrases that I know they would never actually say to me any other time. It becomes something special during sex...

I love tender gentle times as well but the spice a few filthy words adds is just mind blowing!
02/14/2011
Moein Moein
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I like the sound of my partners voices when they use filthy language. The difference between their normal speaking voices and their 'only for sex voice'.
I also like the way it makes me soften and feel loved...it's odd really the ...
Ok, Airen Wolf

We -I & my wife- still not get it from the inside:
Love & Insult
How could these two be combined together!!

If I am a father I may punish my Son hardly, because I love him and keep him out of serious mistakes that could threaten his future or life. Here we have a superior power (Father) who use his power in love. This is a logic explenattion.

But In Sex (Which is a love making) How can any one explain Insults to be a (Love) making?

We need the inside clarification of you. How do you combine between Love & Insult logically?
02/14/2011
Dusk Dusk
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
Ok, Dusk

your reply is more related to this choice:

6- It opens my mind for new sex imagination and makes me a different woman
Well, I don't really think of it as a new imagination or making me a different woman, it just fits better into the BDSM side of my own persona than the person I have to be at work or at school.
02/15/2011
IrishLassie IrishLassie
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
Ok, Airen Wolf

We -I & my wife- still not get it from the inside:
Love & Insult
How could these two be combined together!!

If I am a father I may punish my Son hardly, because I love him and keep him out of serious ...
Honestly, its got to be what you and your partner are comfortable with. I think there is also a little confusion woth mixing this kind of dirty talk and love making. While yes the act of sex is often called love making, there is different forms of sex, from tender and gentle to the rough and dirty. Now I can't speak for everyone,but for me and my husband, he (mostly) will only use the "hard dirty talk" for more when we are just "f#$&ing" or when we are doing a scene as both my husband and I are into some light BDSM.

Again I like only when we are just being rough and mmmm. I am a sub while my husband is the dominate. So, for me I like it when he talks to me like that during these times as I feel more dominated that way. I trust my husband implicitly, so I can understand where Airen is coming from when she says she feels loved. There takes a certain amount of love and trust to do/say that.

Also, its got to be what you are comfortable with. If its something you want to explore talk about it with your patner and maybe start with ground rules. The hubs and talked about it and I told him so far he is free to say what he wants BUT he CANNOT calle me a slut or whore.
02/15/2011
sixfootsex sixfootsex
I don't like it. Gets monotonous.
02/15/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
Quote:
Originally posted by IrishLassie
Honestly, its got to be what you and your partner are comfortable with. I think there is also a little confusion woth mixing this kind of dirty talk and love making. While yes the act of sex is often called love making, there is different forms of ...
This.

The kind of language you speak of has no place (for us, either) in our "lovemaking", but it has a somewhat common place in our BDSM and Roleplaying.

I am not comfortable submitting (i.e. relinquishing power) to anyone but my partner. So it brings us closer -- it's like a team-building exercise, where I know that if I fall backwards he'll be there to catch me. I know that he will always keep me safe and comfortable.

As Miss Anne said, it is something that has been discussed, we have safe words and we talk about what we liked about our play sessions and what we didn't after each one.
02/15/2011
Moein Moein
Quote:
Originally posted by IrishLassie
Honestly, its got to be what you and your partner are comfortable with. I think there is also a little confusion woth mixing this kind of dirty talk and love making. While yes the act of sex is often called love making, there is different forms of ...
Nice explain Miss Anne

So let say a man -like your husband- only use it when the situation is "Hard"..
Don't you feel it looks like a (Revenge)! Or he is Angry?

In marriage, the Sex making is a love making, it is not any thing else. It is not a physical work only like Weightlifting that need person to be (Anger).. and (Hard)..

The "hard word" is not the problem here, the problem is the feelings of woman who is getting bad (Insults) during (the most loved time) and then feels more happy and enjoynment!!

Just let me picture it this way:
During intimate at Valentine night , the following chat happened:

Woman: I love you my Man
Man: I love you too
Woman: I hope we live together for ever
Man: I can't live without you any second
Woman: so then let me give you a hot time
Man: Ya bitch, come on here you little Jerk
Woman: Ya baby, give me more words like that.. It makes me feel your love

I just need a logical explanation that makes this chat be understood.
02/15/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
There are MANY different type of sexual sessions.

Lovemaking: Tender, intimate, "I love you and the sun revolves around you and my life would be nothing without you. I can't wait to grow old with you."

Just sex: This is, "We're both horny, we want to have sex, we're going to go have sex." This might include less romantic positions like doggy-style or trying weird kama sutra upside down stuff, usually sex toys.

Fucking: This is like the "Just Sex" one, only it's rougher. There's some dirty talking, there might be some light spanking or hair pulling. This might get a little ex

Scene play or Role Play: A lot of how this plays out is up to the submissive partner. How they like to be dominated, what's allowed to be said, what's allowed to be done, which implements they like to have used. A good or creative Dom/Domme will take the parameters that they're given and create a scene or experience for their sub. These times are as intimate, sometimes MORE intimate than just "Love Making." The reason for that is there has to be complete trust on both the D and S's part. The sub has to trust that the Dom/Domme will not do something that is outside of what is allowed. The Dom/Domme must trust the sub to use the safe word/signal if things are not pleasurable AND must trust that the sub gave him/her all the parameters.

My husband and I feel closer to each other after a BDSM session than we do on Valentine's Day or our anniversary. There is just so much involved. It takes thought, planning, love, trust.

There is a time and place for each and every one of those sessions. If you've never engaged in a BDSM session, then perhaps you're looking at it with myopic viewpoint. Perhaps joining in our Basics of BDSM meeting that @VieuxCarre is hosting tonight will help you to understand a little more about the lifestyle. You should also read this article that P'Gell wrote for the EdenCafe. It's very telling of the intimacy involved. I would encourage you to understand that it's not insulting if the person who is being dominated asks to be spoken to. They feel love because their Dom/Domme loves them enough to give their sub what he/she is asking for.

But a scenario as you described above of a loving scenario turning that dirty like *snaps fingers* that? That is not how it happens, it's not how the dirty talk is integrated. It's not sporadic at all. It's very carefully thought out and planned out.
02/16/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
There are MANY different type of sexual sessions.

Lovemaking: Tender, intimate, "I love you and the sun revolves around you and my life would be nothing without you. I can't wait to grow old with you."

Just sex: This ...
Well said! She hit the nail on the head with this one.
02/16/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
Well said! She hit the nail on the head with this one.
Thanks!

Also, this: "Fucking: This is like the "Just Sex" one, only it's rougher. There's some dirty talking, there might be some light spanking or hair pulling. This might get a little ex"

It's supposed to say: This might get a little experimental and communication is going on throughout. I'm a little.... okay A LOT... ADD
02/16/2011
IrishLassie IrishLassie
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
There are MANY different type of sexual sessions.

Lovemaking: Tender, intimate, "I love you and the sun revolves around you and my life would be nothing without you. I can't wait to grow old with you."

Just sex: This ...
Absolutely correct. There are many forms of sex. Thanks BBW for giving the explaination of them.

I agree that there is just as much love and initmacy when the hubs and I are doing a scene play as when we are making love.

When a couple is using hard sex talk it is usually coupled with the harder sex, from just sex to the scene play. During these times the sub is more or less requesting for dom to say these things within gthe parameters that the sub gives to the dom. so no, I don't feel like its revenge or hate because the dom is doing things and/or saying things that gives pleasure to the sub. Ulimately both people get pleasure out it. When someone is happy to do things that will please their partner then it cannot be "revenge" or "hate". It becomes revenge when its mutually not pleasing to one or both partners and then let's say the dom will say dirty things against the sub's wishes.


I agree. There is a time and place for each kind of sex session. Whether one night, its slow and there are a lot kissing and "I love you", "you mean the world to me", or whether you are an animal and can't help but grunt, grab your partners hips, spank their ass and say "god I just want to fuck you!"
02/16/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
None of the options apply to us.

Yeah, we use dirty talk, I assumed most people do. But, it isn't "because I'm a woman." Nor am I "week." (UM, it's weak. But, that isn't me.) I'm as strong as Titanium steel, as is he.

Yeah, kind of what BBW said.

It's not "an insult." Dirty talk can help both of you shed inhibitions. When it is CONSENSUAL, it works. If you don't get it, you don't get it. That doesn't mean that other people don't get it.

Yeah, what BBW said, read my article. And VC's session. They give a little insight into the soul-binding that BDSM can bring to people who love each other. VC also has a series of Kink articles on EdenCafe.

AND, there are two more, one on DomSpace and one (oh, no, not again) on SubSpace coming to EdenCafe.com in a week or two from me.

But, it isn't about harming or "snapping" or insulting. Shedding inhibitions and bringing things to the very edge of what is allowed is the key.
02/16/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Moein
Nice explain Miss Anne

So let say a man -like your husband- only use it when the situation is "Hard"..
Don't you feel it looks like a (Revenge)! Or he is Angry?

In marriage, the Sex making is a love making, it is not ...
No, that isn't it.

You said, Don't you feel it looks like a (Revenge)! Or he is Angry? NOT AT ALL! A Dom has to stay in control. When My Man and I are scening and it's rough, it IS about love. Love and intensity. He isn't angry, and I'm not intimidated or afraid.

It's about getting close to the edge. I have no problem with words like "slut" or "whore." From HIM, not from people I don't know, of course. Anne has her hard limits, I have mine. Every couple or group has them. Hard limits (what you simply have agreed not to do) are part of any D/s or M/s relationship. These things are discussed and everything is consensual.

The three keys of good Hard Play are:

Safe

Sane

Consensual
02/16/2011
Maiden Maiden
I like it because it makes me feel objectified and dirty and naughty. I like to be dominated and talk like this makes me feel like I am his sex toy. Also, in the case of my man in particular, it takes him completely out of his character. He would never say things like that to me or any other woman and truly mean it. I like it when he steps out of his normal self in the bedroom.
02/16/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
I just want to add:

I think it goes without saying that people have their different ideas of what is considered acceptable or "Hot."

I know someone who thought his sister's husband was a "Freak in the sheets" because they'd had sex three times in a day once. I laughed, thinking, "If that's a freak, I must be a deviant!"

Other people might think my husband and I are "vanilla."

Some people only have sex in the man on top position.

Some people never perform oral sex.

Some people never perform anal sex.

It's all a matter of perspective and what you communicate with your partner as being appropriate for your marriage bed/shared bed/sexual bed.
02/16/2011
liilii080 liilii080
I think something about my choosing to use/hear those words make me feel powerful. I get to choose their use and application and that takes away their sting.
02/16/2011
A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)
I like hearing those words because it makes me sexually free. For example, "slut" is not about being a bad person, it's about being open in expressing your sexual desires. Calling me a slut in such a situation is saying: you are extremely sexually active and I like it!
02/16/2011
Moein Moein
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
There are MANY different type of sexual sessions.

Lovemaking: Tender, intimate, "I love you and the sun revolves around you and my life would be nothing without you. I can't wait to grow old with you."

Just sex: This ...
Ok BBW thanks for your detailed explain..

So, based on your wourds I can classify sexual sessions for 2 main category:
1- Real Sex
2- Acting Sex (or fake)

The First one has a real intimate between the man and woman. The love in this type contains (Respect) and (clear Love words) that been spoked with no purpose and un-programmed. These words reflect the real feelings or (inner intimate) of the persons, and control the whole love session. So, we can not differ between (words spoken) and (phisical pleasure), because all of them are in one template.

The second one is just a (physical touch) no more. Every one of them want to enjoy the (body feelings), so words are only used to fire up the (hot) and increase the Pain -which is a second face of sex coin-. It is like an (external) wood added to fire just to increase the (hot) momment. It is a (programmed) words that folow (Rules). So in hard Sex like Doggy style the more (Hard words) is required to describe the (Dom/Domme) but not to describe (inner love).

For BDSM, it must described as (Acting sex). There is too much words, tools needed to fire up the session. All these words and tools are (programmed) for the body (touch). It never comes out automatically.
  •   (2)
    I am personally offended by this
  •   (1)
    This is unacceptable / Against the Expectations of Conduct
02/16/2011
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Total posts: 54
Unique posters: 22