He's taking TOO long to come!!!

He's taking TOO long to come!!!

LadyLegs LadyLegs
I've been seeing this guy for a while and we started having sex about 2 months ago. It feels like he takes too long to come. Sometimes he doesn't come at all and the times he has for the most part it was from jacking off-(either with oral but mostly without). I have tried a lot of different postions, given head for eternity, etc. Not sure what I'm doing wrong. Is it possible he masturbates too much? He says he enjoys the sex we have but his lack of climax makes me think otherwise. I've NEVER had a problem like this before and I've had enough partners to know what I'm doing (no judgement).
What do you think? Any pointers?
04/03/2012
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PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Sounds like it might be due to him masturbating. I would ask him if he would be willing to stop for a little while...see if things improve. Sounds like you're doing a great job...try not to think that you're not!
04/03/2012
shySEXXaddict shySEXXaddict
Does he do any drugs?Or medication because these 2 things can make that happen. Maybe his mind is else where or he holds off because he thinks thats what you want and then isnt able to?I think if he didnt enjoy it he wouldnt still be sleeping with you since you guys just got together so im sure its not you.I understand though how you feel..ive had this happen and you cant help but think its you...just no it isnt.
04/03/2012
ladychristie ladychristie
My ex was like this, it made me feel so inadequate that I just wouldn't have sex with him anymore. He was on medication and drank a lot and I know that had a lot to do with it. But I just always felt like it was me.
04/03/2012
gloomybear gloomybear
i had an ex boyfriend like that idk why it happens though
04/03/2012
Ryuson Ryuson
I also had an ex like that. I broke up with him, though (not for that reason), which isn't a good solution. I agree that it could be some type of medication.
04/03/2012
PolyLove PolyLove
Sometimes my husband takes too long or doesn't come at all. I think it could be from jacking off, because he does it a lot. But it may just be the way he is. Try asking him to stop for a while like properyofpotter suggested.

Also, if he says that the sex was satisfying and that he did get something out of it then it isn't you. My husband says that even if he doesn't come knowing he pleased me and getting to feel himself inside me is just enough... sometimes.

Another solution: arousal lubes. Give him a hand job with something that will make him more sensitive, and then go at it.

Good luck.
04/03/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Some medications from alcohol (as some people have said) to some pain killers (Oxycodone is notorious for this, as is codeine, while Vicodin doesn't usually have this side effect, go figure) to SSRI antidepressants (Prozac being the most notorious) to marijuana to blood pressure medications and others can have an effect on the ability and time it takes to orgasm.

Or it could be just the way he is. I used to get (silently) frustrated with my husband, after we had been together a long time (he's older than I am) and he started taking a long time to come. I was, however really patient with him. He still often needs repeated types of stimulation, oral, vaginal, anal, manual etc to come.

God "Got me" as they say. About 3 or 4 years ago, I started having terrible difficulty orgasming, and he was right there helping me in any way he could. He bought me my first sex toy in our attempts to get this issue solved. I still sometimes take a while, but I learned, "what goes around, comes around." Despite the fact that I was frustrated with him at one point, (and once after an hour long blow job finally yelled, "OMG, quit enjoying it so much and just come !!!!") I helped him to every orgasm he could get, and we both learned sometimes you have to give up and try in the morning. That being said, when it started happening to me, he was there to help me through it.

Good luck. I don't have any suggestions, besides varying the stimulation and to tell you that if the only way he can come sometimes is to jerk off while you give him head (I've been accidentally punched in the mouth more times than I can count) then that's OK! At least he got there.

He doesn't have to come during PIV sex, and neither do you. Eventually you'll both get there and under what circumstances isn't really important.
04/03/2012
MikeHHHH MikeHHHH
Quote:
Originally posted by LadyLegs
I've been seeing this guy for a while and we started having sex about 2 months ago. It feels like he takes too long to come. Sometimes he doesn't come at all and the times he has for the most part it was from jacking off-(either with oral ...
I had a similar issue, and it was caused by a lack of penis sensitivity. This is actually pretty common and can be easily fixed by using a penis health creme that contains acetyl L carnitine. All your guy has to do is apply this creme once a day and his feeling will slowly be restored which will lead to better sex for the both of you. I was skeptical at first too, but the creme is all natural... so it's totally safe. It really works too. Check it out. Good luck.
11/02/2015
NJ casanova NJ casanova
Quote:
Originally posted by LadyLegs
I've been seeing this guy for a while and we started having sex about 2 months ago. It feels like he takes too long to come. Sometimes he doesn't come at all and the times he has for the most part it was from jacking off-(either with oral ...
Since you just started, he might be trying to last longer?

Have you asked him if he pregame (masturbates before hand) that will definitely prolong the session?

Have you tried the fire/ice type lubes, they might help him get more sensitive?

You can try talking dirty, stimulating him (nipple play, necking, etc.) during sex to push him over the edge, it works for my girls when they just want a quickie.

For myself I know a few things that speeds things up, tightening my leg muscles/ holding my breath.

If you watch porn before hand it should also get him close to coming before you even start.
11/02/2015
TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Medically speaking this could be a condition known as "Delayed ejaculation", also called retarded ejaculation or inhibited ejaculation.

It's a man's inability for or persistent difficulty in achieving orgasm, despite typical sexual desire and sexual stimulation. Generally, a man can reach orgasm within a few minutes of active thrusting during sexual intercourse, whereas a man with delayed ejaculation either does not have orgasms at all or cannot have an orgasm until after prolonged intercourse which might last for 30–45 minutes or more.

Delayed ejaculation can be mild (men who still experience orgasm during intercourse, but only under certain conditions), moderate (cannot ejaculate during intercourse, but can during fellatio or manual stimulation), severe (can ejaculate only when alone), or most severe (cannot ejaculate at all).

Medication and therapy have been shown to work well. So see a doctor.
11/02/2015
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 11