My boyfriend is my first sexual partner. I am not his first, however. He has been very caring and nice, but has now started expressing to me that he likes to be made "uncomfortable." He likes to feel exploited, and wants me to say things to make him feel this way. I really want to be able to do this for him, but I really don't know what to say / do. Any advice? Thanks!
He wants me to make him uncomfortable
10/15/2011
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
Well I don't really understand your question. You mean like he wants to feel used? I would just choke him and curse at him a lot telling him what I'm about to do to him.
10/16/2011
Perhaps you should read some male-submission erotica for ideas (where the female partner is dominant (or sometimes another male) and the male is submissive). One of the originals in the genre, Venus in Furs, might be a good one.
10/16/2011
Quote:
Nice idea! Thank you!
Originally posted by
Ghost
Perhaps you should read some male-submission erotica for ideas (where the female partner is dominant (or sometimes another male) and the male is submissive). One of the originals in the genre, Venus in Furs, might be a good one.
10/16/2011
Quote:
Sorry, I guess I wasn't specific enough! Yes, he wants to feel used. I think he also wants to feel humiliated. That sort of thing?
Originally posted by
socceras
Well I don't really understand your question. You mean like he wants to feel used? I would just choke him and curse at him a lot telling him what I'm about to do to him.
10/16/2011
Quote:
Talk with him and ask him if he has some material he uses to "get in the mood' if you will. As if he is comfortable sharing it with you so that you get a feel for what excites him. Be prepared to possibly feel uncomfortable but be open minded. Listen to his feedback and really be sure you are doing this when and where he wants it done. You could read some books about dominance and submission but this sounds more like humilliation play...still this could be HIS definition of D/s. It can be very hard for a man to ask for this kind of play so admire him for his courage and then be sure he knows he is a spineless coward! (If that is his kink ) Most of all use this as a way to build some loving language between you. It could lead to wonderful things!
Originally posted by
prettysilly
Sorry, I guess I wasn't specific enough! Yes, he wants to feel used. I think he also wants to feel humiliated. That sort of thing?
10/16/2011
Well first you'd need to know what kind of "uncomfortable". Some people might like to be talked down to, called a dirty whore and some may like more extreme things. It would definitely need to be discussed first and you should ask what exactly he wants you to say and what he would not want you to say. I'd take it slowly at first and try to understand exactly what it is that he likes to hear and then try it out. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want too though. You're needs are just as important and while he might enjoy feeling uncomfortable or degraded, it may actually make you uncomfortable in a bad way and if it does you should definitely speak up. Find what makes you both comfortable. I hope you guys have fun with this though!
10/16/2011
Femdom erotica and asking for some of his "warm up" material are both great suggestions to hone in on the specific kind of D/s dynamic that he is looking for. I think the best advice anyone could give on this- especially if you're new to the whole thing, is to have fun with it and don't be afraid to take control of the situation. Tell- don't ask him to do things you want ranging from giving you a pedicure to folding your laundry. Just make sure you sexualize the tasks to keep him interested and coming back for more.
Some places you might want to check out for ideas include:
fetlife.com
hotwifelife.com
humiliatrix.com
meninpain.com
romanvideo.com
Some places you might want to check out for ideas include:
fetlife.com
hotwifelife.com
humiliatrix.com
meninpain.com
romanvideo.com
10/16/2011
Quote:
Great advice from Airen!
Originally posted by
Airen Wolf
Talk with him and ask him if he has some material he uses to "get in the mood' if you will. As if he is comfortable sharing it with you so that you get a feel for what excites him. Be prepared to possibly feel uncomfortable but be open
...
more
Talk with him and ask him if he has some material he uses to "get in the mood' if you will. As if he is comfortable sharing it with you so that you get a feel for what excites him. Be prepared to possibly feel uncomfortable but be open minded. Listen to his feedback and really be sure you are doing this when and where he wants it done. You could read some books about dominance and submission but this sounds more like humilliation play...still this could be HIS definition of D/s. It can be very hard for a man to ask for this kind of play so admire him for his courage and then be sure he knows he is a spineless coward! (If that is his kink ) Most of all use this as a way to build some loving language between you. It could lead to wonderful things!
less
10/16/2011
Have you checked out the CFNM sites? There are actual scenes you could maybe re-enact until you two figure out your specific areas.
10/16/2011
put a colar on him and a leash and make him your puppy, force him to lick peanut butter out of your puss. and if he doesnt smack him with a news paper.
that will make him feel uncomfortable.
that will make him feel uncomfortable.
10/16/2011
Quote:
lololololol.
Originally posted by
LilLostLenore
put a colar on him and a leash and make him your puppy, force him to lick peanut butter out of your puss. and if he doesnt smack him with a news paper.
that will make him feel uncomfortable.
that will make him feel uncomfortable.
10/16/2011
make weird noises.. like really weird...
10/16/2011
Along the lines of the reading erotica suggestions... you can always start with writing your own scenarios down if you feel awkward or want a more comfortable way to experiment before jumping right in. That's been helpful for me at times because I don't feel quite so "on stage." You can share and then discuss it in a more neutral context to find out what worked and what didn't. (Or see what he writes back!)
10/16/2011
Quote:
LOL! Wow!
Originally posted by
LilLostLenore
put a colar on him and a leash and make him your puppy, force him to lick peanut butter out of your puss. and if he doesnt smack him with a news paper.
that will make him feel uncomfortable.
that will make him feel uncomfortable.
10/16/2011
Quote:
Thank you very much for the encouraging answer!
Originally posted by
Airen Wolf
Talk with him and ask him if he has some material he uses to "get in the mood' if you will. As if he is comfortable sharing it with you so that you get a feel for what excites him. Be prepared to possibly feel uncomfortable but be open
...
more
Talk with him and ask him if he has some material he uses to "get in the mood' if you will. As if he is comfortable sharing it with you so that you get a feel for what excites him. Be prepared to possibly feel uncomfortable but be open minded. Listen to his feedback and really be sure you are doing this when and where he wants it done. You could read some books about dominance and submission but this sounds more like humilliation play...still this could be HIS definition of D/s. It can be very hard for a man to ask for this kind of play so admire him for his courage and then be sure he knows he is a spineless coward! (If that is his kink ) Most of all use this as a way to build some loving language between you. It could lead to wonderful things!
less
10/23/2011
Quote:
Just talk extra fucking nasty thats all lol
Originally posted by
prettysilly
My boyfriend is my first sexual partner. I am not his first, however. He has been very caring and nice, but has now started expressing to me that he likes to be made "uncomfortable." He likes to feel exploited, and wants me to say things
...
more
My boyfriend is my first sexual partner. I am not his first, however. He has been very caring and nice, but has now started expressing to me that he likes to be made "uncomfortable." He likes to feel exploited, and wants me to say things to make him feel this way. I really want to be able to do this for him, but I really don't know what to say / do. Any advice? Thanks!
less
10/24/2011
Total posts: 17
Unique posters: 13