My wife knows what turns me on.

I am still getting to know her. So far here are some things:

1. she hates talking- erotic or not.
2. she likes the thought of spanking.
3. during lovemaking she imagines a girl being spanked and getting it from behind.

My problems:

1. I absolutely LOVE dirty talk- it gets me going. Before, during, after.
2. She says I am not intimidating enough to spank her or dominate her in bed. I am slightly taller than she and have a small build.
3. In her mind, getting it from behind, I guess, is a submissive act. My thing is too short to really get her from behind good enough. She doesn't like dildos enough for me to get a harness and use that behind her (yet)

So folks out there- any thoughts? Can we get on the same page? Our sex life is good, getting better little by little with LOTs of work from me...

Any suggestions would be appreciated!