Help! My partner is TOO BIG!!!

Help! My partner is TOO BIG!!!

pugtato pugtato
Ok, I never thought I'd say this: but my man's penis might be too thick. I need advice.

I'm no delicate chaste flower and I do have a decent arsenal full of toys, but I've seriously never encountered a member this girthy. He's maybe average in length, but the diameter is what gets me. Anal is just unimaginable for me right now. Giving head is tricky and uncomfortable, but doable in short sessions. But vaginal penetration is leaving me wrecked. He does all the right things: extensive foreplay, building up with fingers/toys, tons of lube, listening to my feedback cues. But no matter what, I end up the epitome of Ariana Grande's "side to side."

Does anyone have advice? Favorite positions? Warmup techniques? Trusted methods to recover?
04/24/2017
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TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by pugtato
Ok, I never thought I'd say this: but my man's penis might be too thick. I need advice.

I'm no delicate chaste flower and I do have a decent arsenal full of toys, but I've seriously never encountered a member this girthy. ...
Lube, lube, lube.

How big are your toys in comparison to him?
04/27/2017
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Lube, lube, lube.

How big are your toys in comparison to him?
Could it be he's comparable to the super Vixen Creations Lone Star or that Tantus monster
04/27/2017
TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
Could it be he's comparable to the super Vixen Creations Lone Star or that Tantus monster
Good choices...
04/29/2017
symbiasin symbiasin
I might be in the same boat.....6 1/2" circumference and gets thicker the harder he gets.

I haven't met him yet, just known each other for ages online.

My biggest dildo is 6" circ. I'm at least going to practice deep throat with that.
04/29/2017
DILF DILF
Quote:
Originally posted by pugtato
Ok, I never thought I'd say this: but my man's penis might be too thick. I need advice.

I'm no delicate chaste flower and I do have a decent arsenal full of toys, but I've seriously never encountered a member this girthy. ...
O.K, guy's perspective here. There can't be anything like, "he is just too big for me", especially when it comes to girth. Some numbers here - average erect penis girth = 4.75 inches circumference. Average girth of baby on the way out is about 14-15 inches. So unless he is closer to the childbirth girth, you should have no problem handling his manhood (anything around 7 inches circumference or less should be manageable). I am nearly 6.5 inches circumference at widest part, and my wife loves my girth. Most women prefer girth to length. So I think your issue is either mental, or you don't juice-up enough. Try to figure out a way to improve one or both of these, and then you will appreciate how he stretches you open
05/05/2017
Daddy'sSexKitten Daddy'sSexKitten
Quote:
Originally posted by pugtato
Ok, I never thought I'd say this: but my man's penis might be too thick. I need advice.

I'm no delicate chaste flower and I do have a decent arsenal full of toys, but I've seriously never encountered a member this girthy. ...
Well, my guy isn't that big but I am very small compared to hm and he is on the larger side.
Advice- get a toy either the same size, or maybe a bit bigger than him and size up yourself. I did this and it's the only thing that helped. Stretching yourself gives you more control and comfort. And don't go long periods without having sex or playing solo. The vagina is very elastic and goes back to the way it was before.
Positions-Not Doggy! Or anything from behind for that matter, and not you on top. Start with simple missionary or the best for me was him on his side and me laying on my back next to him.
Warm up techniques- None worked for me, I went 8 weeks without sex after tearing bad while giving birth and they stitched me up good. A little to good mixed with the scar tissue. I went back to virgin status. Anyway I would just warm up on your own and stretch yourself.
Methods to recover- You probably have small very minor tears. After sex wash with COLD water. Pat dry and sort of pat to wipe after going to the bathroom. If you need immediate relief after Witch Hazel Pads help. Don't use any fragranced wipes or soaps and use your hands to wash, not washcloth or loofah. Soft, cotton panties. And lots of lube next session. About a day in between sex or solo is best if not 2 days.
05/11/2017
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Good choices...
How about the Lone Star? Darn it keep confusing those two.
05/13/2017
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by pugtato
Ok, I never thought I'd say this: but my man's penis might be too thick. I need advice.

I'm no delicate chaste flower and I do have a decent arsenal full of toys, but I've seriously never encountered a member this girthy. ...
I'll never had a partner like that ,but do know what you mean. We recently got the Vixen Creations Lone Star.

I would suggest using a powerful wand, requesting good cunnlingus and thick lubricant.
And go very slow. And if it doesn't fit, ask him to stop and promise him. " next week, we can try again."
05/13/2017
Lena Eden Lena Eden
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
I'll never had a partner like that ,but do know what you mean. We recently got the Vixen Creations Lone Star.

I would suggest using a powerful wand, requesting good cunnlingus and thick lubricant.
And go very slow. And if it ...
That's a good advice, OH.
Love & Patience will save the world! *and deliver some fantastic Os finally
05/15/2017
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
I'll never had a partner like that ,but do know what you mean. We recently got the Vixen Creations Lone Star.

I would suggest using a powerful wand, requesting good cunnlingus and thick lubricant.
And go very slow. And if it ...
Can we expect a review of the Lone Star soon - I hear he's a real super star! Inquiring minds want to know!
05/15/2017
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Can we expect a review of the Lone Star soon - I hear he's a real super star! Inquiring minds want to know!
As soon as one of us gets off our duff. Btw, them VC Lone Star and Outlaw look alike and getting them confused. That big thing on our dildo shelf is the Outlaw. Of course we need to experience it more
Yes, it's all that everyone's heard and read of and MUCH MORE !
05/16/2017
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
I'll never had a partner like that ,but do know what you mean. We recently got the Vixen Creations Lone Star.

I would suggest using a powerful wand, requesting good cunnlingus and thick lubricant.
And go very slow. And if it ...
You ninny how can you confuse the Lone Star for the mighty Outlaw
05/17/2017
AmethystQueen AmethystQueen
Wow, nice problem to have...which doesn't do you much good since it's still a problem....I get it...

I'd just say practice with his size dildos and gradually increase in size.

You can accept him anally too (with joy, I might add), you just have to work on it and practice, practice, practice. Anal training is your friend! Start off small (like with one finger) with lots of lube (I recommend virgin coconut oil) and get used to the in and out. Then get (more fingers at once in there, or) something bigger and bigger until you're at his size. May take months, but it'll be worth it, right? I'd also go over his size so he'll feel comfortable and less than what you're used to practicing on.
05/30/2017
sexfairy sexfairy
Did you try to massage youreself? I mean not in a masturbating way as to get pleasure but more as a way to get to know your vagina better. There might be some tensions that you are unaware of. By going slowly around, mapping, doing pressure points, welcoming all that comes up (physically and emotionally). Massage, explore and stay gentle and welcoming, breathing deeply. If tensions are there and are released this way, it could change your whole experience.
05/31/2017
SFH SFH
A different "man's perspective"; I found the other "man's perspective" to be condescending and androcentric, and it kinda made me mad.

"Girth" as circumference is a misleading and absurd measurement, devised for men. Big numbers make us feel better, apparently.

And for my fellow men who are too clueless to know, childbirth is excruciating, so don't use a baby as the basis of what YOU imagine a woman should or should not be able to "take".

I actually do have exactly the problem the poster notes. I think I'm pretty average in length, but I'm just enormously thick, and as I close in on orgasm it gets worse, obviously.

These are the facts I know: I cannot get a large steel penis/dildo harness ring over my penis when I am fully erect but not even close to orgasm; according to the site, the rong has an inside diameter (thickness) of 2 1/4". So I figure I'm about that thick. Measuring doesn't really work because it is artificial.

Neither I nor my partners can get any kind of hand-job sleeve to go over my penis, UNLESS it is a jelly toy with no rigidity; then I tear it open and slowly rip it up, but it does work for a while (Super Stretch Lips get bought by the twos).

Women who have had children find it less painful, those who have not, much more so. Once I am fully erect, no amount of lube, of any kind, will obviate the grimace of pain, and the resulting contraction of her vagina. And I love all the other kinds of sex---what Americans inist on calling "foreplay"---so one of my partners at least has to have been as ready as she could be.

Put another way...it IS NOT a mental issue for you, it's just not real common.

Here are the tricks I have learned with my partners through the years:

Masturbation. Give "hand". Let him rub his penis along the inside of your forearm---a very smooth and sensitive spot---while your fingers play with his testes. Let him rub himself between your breasts. Let him rub himself against your cheek (yes, he's going to come on your face, though why this is supposedly a bad thing is another of those American male weirdnesses, since you ALWAYS come all over his face).

Let him rub his penis in the cleft of your anus. Take his penis in your hand, and use his glans to jerk yourself off. Lay him on his back and ride your labia and clitoris along the "underside" of his penis.

Give head with your lips and tongue. Keep your mouth open and basically lick him and rub him with your mouth and tongue, and if you want to, get around on his glans when he's going to orgasm.

If you really, really, want to fuck, you have to work at it. You want him hard enough not to injure him, but not yet so thick or hard you can't work him in---here's where all that lube, making out, and pelvic floor exercises help. But understand that sooner, rather than later, he's going to get to that 2"+ point and it is going to hurt if he tries to "give it to you". Your best course is to have him hold fairly still and let you control the movement.

One last thing....despite what you think, anal sex is actually the better alternative. You just have to do it properly. Which is not spontaneous, romantic, or quick. He has to be willing to use his (clean and well-kept) fingers to GENTLY work your anus VERY open. He has to lube the inside of your anus carefully and plentifully, and you or he has to slather his penis with lube. Then he has to go very slowly, and focus the first several times on working his head in and around your actual anus until he gets off. Once your more used to being opened, you can proceed to let him further in, especially if he's average in length.

Hope this helped. Actually having a very thick penis is a very mixed blessing. I will say this: when I have a partner with whom I can have pain-free intercourse, it is awesome for both of us.

FYI...I'm bigger than any "spreader" or dilating vibe I've ever used. Most didlos are made of soft material, so you can squeeze them, and if they are big enough to help, they are already too big for you anyway. But it's worth a try to go for a short, 2" thick dildo, maybe with a tapered head.

Steven
05/31/2017
AmethystQueen AmethystQueen
Can a vagina be "practiced" to open bigger like an anus can? I've had children and you're right, Steven, it's easier to take wider things.
06/01/2017
DILF DILF
Quote:
Originally posted by SFH
A different "man's perspective"; I found the other "man's perspective" to be condescending and androcentric, and it kinda made me mad.

"Girth" as circumference is a misleading and absurd measurement, ...
This seems like a thesis to me...you married to Dr. Ruth???

Also, she never mentioned anal, so why did you? News flash...an anus does not stretch as wide open as does a vagina, so why would she consider that before solving her vaginal issue?

"Girth as circumference is a misleading and absurd measurement, devised for men"...are you serious? So, diameter was devised for women, and circumference was devised for men, yes??? Because women are not smart enough to make that distinction - but men are???

Bottom line is at this point we have no idea just how big this Mr. Big is, as the woman who posted this initially has not yet disclosed his size. We also have no idea if this woman has had any vaginal childbirths. Notwithstanding these important pieces of data, the average woman has the ability to stretch wide enough to accommodate most penis girths - unless MAYBE he is as thick as a coke can. At this point, its either mental or physical. As long as a woman is turned on, warmed up, and juiced up, any girth up to about 7 inches circumference (that's Pi x 2.25 inches for you, Mr. Diameter) should be both manageable and enjoyable. Thus, her issue is likely that she is neither getting turned on, nor is properly warmed up, nor is juicing up...or some combination of these.

Condescending and androcentric? I find your previous comments to be shallow and pedantic.
06/02/2017
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
It's a fact everyone has their own beliefs and at times speak what's on their minds. And sometimes say things in the heat of the moment. I've been guilty of that more times than I can count.

You both have good points. Maybe if taken more time,maybe could have worded them differently. Heck, I don't even know what some of them mean.

Everybody wants something they don't have. It's human nature. The grass is always greener on the other side. Most girls would like more cleaverage. Guys believing they aren't big enough (myself included) wish for a bigger ukw.

So anyway op is asking for tips / help in taking his girth. Perhaps like one of the poster saying, the location of the girth is the issue. If it is reverse taper ( very fat near the tip ) it does present quite a challenge. Most may prefer girth over length, but not all at the tip. We have a Tantus Revolution. It's head is large. She prefers a taper more than " big head " .

OW says maybe it's a mental block. Adequate warm up, lube should take care or the physical.
She also says if you don't really want one that size, don't take it. Maybe in the future.

Sorry, if I babbled too much or didn't make any sense.
06/03/2017
GirlsJustWannaHaveFun GirlsJustWannaHaveFun
Quote:
Originally posted by DILF
O.K, guy's perspective here. There can't be anything like, "he is just too big for me", especially when it comes to girth. Some numbers here - average erect penis girth = 4.75 inches circumference. Average girth of baby on the ...
Agree, we are built to stretch. More lube, slower stretch, maybe a glass of wine to relax, get that awesome cock in ya!
06/03/2017
TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by GirlsJustWannaHaveFun
Agree, we are built to stretch. More lube, slower stretch, maybe a glass of wine to relax, get that awesome cock in ya!
Lol. Sometimes things don't stretch. Thats because while we women are made to stretch to accommodate a baby a lot of hormone and natural processes have gone into that final process.
08/19/2017
Gr8pumpkin Gr8pumpkin
Quote:
Originally posted by pugtato
Ok, I never thought I'd say this: but my man's penis might be too thick. I need advice.

I'm no delicate chaste flower and I do have a decent arsenal full of toys, but I've seriously never encountered a member this girthy. ...
Can you give yourself an orgasm before trying to try his penis inside you ? I know my wife becomes more relaxed after she cums, making my entry easier later. Other than that, just taking your time, and using good lube should help. The only other thing that comes to mind is that some women, like my ex-wife, have vaginal spasms that make entry into the vagina difficult, to impossible. There may be a fear factor involved that is derailing your efforts.
Good luck, I hope you can solve your dilemma.
12/05/2017
Big G Big G
Quote:
Originally posted by pugtato
Ok, I never thought I'd say this: but my man's penis might be too thick. I need advice.

I'm no delicate chaste flower and I do have a decent arsenal full of toys, but I've seriously never encountered a member this girthy. ...
Hi, I am 7 1/2" long and 7 1/2" girth, and my wife has adapted to me over time, except cant do back door nor deep throat, it got easier post kids. She likes it forced in and hard too
Mar 25, 5:00 pm
Total posts: 23
Unique posters: 14