How Do You Define "Had Sex"? - from Em and Lo

Contributor: Em & Lo Em & Lo
We've always hated the presumption, in mainstream culture, that "sex" automatically means "intercourse." Where does that leave all our gay friends, or the majority of women who don't orgasm from intercourse? So, what do you think is the best, most accurate, and all-inclusive definition of "sex"? Or do you disagree and think it's fair to say that "sex" is shorthand for intercourse, and if you want to talk about something else, just qualify it (like "oral sex" or "gay sex")?
05/05/2010
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Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
wow...this is going to spark up a messy debate.
05/05/2010
Contributor: Elodie Elodie
Sex is whatever the person doing it says it is.

I get uncomfortable, though, when people claim oral sex isn't "really" sex. I'm a child of the safe-sex 90s, and besides, I don't like the idea that it's only sex if it involves the penis penetrating an orifice. That's just very sexist.

(Btw, I am extremely skeptical of the idea that the majority of women don't orgasm during intercourse. That is absolutely not true of me or my female friends.)
05/05/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Sex is a complicated activity to define...it's like pornography in many ways. I cannot define sex to encompass everything that it is but I know it when I see/feel/experience it!
05/05/2010
Contributor: Avant-garde Avant-garde
Its an interesting question, I really never thought about it before. off the top of my head I would define sex for all as physical pleasure among the genital area for one or more people. Does masturbation also qualify? does masturbation have to be independent of sex after all I am doing it with someone I love
05/05/2010
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Elodie
Sex is whatever the person doing it says it is.

I get uncomfortable, though, when people claim oral sex isn't "really" sex. I'm a child of the safe-sex 90s, and besides, I don't like the idea that it's only sex if it ... more
I agree with this. Sex for me probably means intercourse but I'm not going to say my guidelines apply to anyone else
05/06/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
Well...homosexual sex IS intercourse. So I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. And you can still have intercourse without orgasm.

I really do not understand this discussion at all.
05/06/2010
Contributor: ScotchIrish ScotchIrish
Quote:
Originally posted by Em & Lo
We've always hated the presumption, in mainstream culture, that "sex" automatically means "intercourse." Where does that leave all our gay friends, or the majority of women who don't orgasm from intercourse? So, what do ... more
I believe sex is one or more individuals of either sex. Participating and arousing for pleasure, through physical, verbal and emotional stimulus of the body, mind and spirit. This through oral, anal, intercourse, touching of genitalia, erogenous zones and personal points of pleasure. This form is practiced as conceptual. Is suggested for adults. However is experience by minors with or without the understanding of consequences. Oh hell, that goes for adults also. Had sex can apply to most any physical participation of sexual and erotic nature. I guess that ever word has a meaning, as every word may have different interpretations. Thus, some things may be cut and dry, while others with be left to individuals, groups, coalitions, parties and individual opinion.
05/06/2010
Contributor: Crystal_Rose Crystal_Rose
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
Well...homosexual sex IS intercourse. So I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. And you can still have intercourse without orgasm.

I really do not understand this discussion at all.
What he said.
05/08/2010
Contributor: spiced spiced
To me, if one person is stimulating the other's genitals, it's SEX. Whether that's stimulation with the hand, the mouth, their own genitals... it's all sex.

I think that's why Bill Clinton's statement that he "did NOT have sexual relations with that woman" seemed so absurd. Saying that only intercourse is sex is, to me, like saying that eating is only eating when you're in a nice restaurant and being served by a waiter.
06/11/2010
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
To me, sex is oral, vaginal or anal.

Anything else is foreplay.

However, kissing and foreplay count as cheating. I wonder if that's weird...
06/11/2010
Contributor: Katelyn Katelyn
Sex is anything to do with genitals for me. I have been with a girl without any oral or anal and I count what we did as sex : )
01/17/2012
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
Quote:
Originally posted by spiced
To me, if one person is stimulating the other's genitals, it's SEX. Whether that's stimulation with the hand, the mouth, their own genitals... it's all sex.

I think that's why Bill Clinton's statement that he "did ... more
This is what I think too. It's ridiculous to think any activity that could potentially lead to someone having an orgasm as anything other than sex.
01/17/2012