I myself got into being tied up and blindfolded. By experimenting. I did not just decide to get up one day either and say oh I like that. It took some time getting used too. As for nipple play with clamps I just now started using these. As for whips and other things. I happen to like that stuff too. Spankings happen to turn me on.

Until you try on your own you will always be puzzled about it. less

Well said. I'm a curious person, and I usually find myself, in and out of the bedroom, thinking, "I wonder what that would be like?" So yeah, you have to experiment before you know you'll like it. You can't say you like a type of food if you don't eat it first, right? We discover our sexual selves through experiences. Nobody wakes up and says, "I like that!" You have to actually do it first. less

Well, I don't have orgasms or gain any sexual pleasure from getting hurt outside of a sexual context, either. That's not the same thing. And there are different sensations for different kinds of pain, just like with pleasure. The two can overlap sometimes, and the rush you get, the release of endorphins from some types of pain, can easily turn pleasurable. The mix of sensations in fact, is something that really gets me going. It's an overall experience that is psychological as well as physical. The brain is very much involved, for me. And some people just love the intensity of it. I'm one of those people.

For me, the type of pain I like, is spanking--and hard spanking. It started out with being put over my guy's lap and getting spanked while I was being told that I was "bad"--and it escalated from there. Being vulnerable to him like that indicates a particular kind of trust that excites me--that we can do anything, push all kinds of sexual boundaries together, and I'm safe with him--safe from really getting hurt, from being used, from being judged, from being shamed. That's exhilarating for me, and that rush I get from that alone gives me pleasure. He also likes to spank me, then rub my ass, then spank, then dip in between my legs and tease me, then spank...there are a lot of things going on...and I love feeling him grow hard while I'm draped across his lap like that. Whips and paddles just seem to be the next logical step in our play, and the sting is a good sensation to mix in with the amazing sex we always have after my bum is red, hot, and tingling.

Really, it's all about context and intent. I don't want a random person to spank me, and I don't want to be spanked without consent. I don't want to be spanked when I'm not in the mood for sex, because it doesn't feel the same. Our bodies undergo a lot of change when we are aroused, and things that feel amazing in that state, don't feel the same when you're not. Every rub your clit when your not turned on? It's downright unpleasant. Ever been embraced by someone when you don't feel like being affectionate? Ever been in a sexual situation and just are not into it? Blech. The act itself cannot be the only things going on. There has to be a situation with particular circumstances that make those actions feel good.

And I'm curious about clamps, because I have very sensitive breasts, and when he's pinched them in the heat of passion, it feels amazing. And having my hair pulled gets me off as well. It feels very animalistic and raw. There's just this sense that it's okay to let go and shed all inhibitions like that. In my day to day life, I don't get to let go easily. So sex has to feel like a liberation for me for it to be most satisfying. Again, it's psychological, which enhances the physical.

In any case, you might as well ask, "Why would anyone bungee jump? Who would want to jump off a bridge!" Because it's exciting. Because it gives you an adrenaline rush. Because it makes you feel new sensations. And some people don't want that at all because they don't like those rushes of adrenaline, and they don't like the thrill. Everyone experiences things differently.

Do you ever wonder why some people like horror films, and scary books, or doing things like ghost hunting or anything involving the paranormal? I think some of us like to be spooked or scared once in a while, even though we generally feel like that's an unpleasant sensation--and it certainly can be sometimes, depending on the situation, the circumstances and the degree of intensity. But it's interesting and fun, too. And it's a singular feeling that you don't experience all the time, generally speaking.

Or how about giving oral? I'm not receiving sexual stimulation when I'm giving. But I'm turned on by the situation. I'm turned on by my partner's reaction. I'm turned on by the circumstances. It feels very good to me, even though I'm not on the receiving end.

And asking what triggered it because you think that no teenager wakes up with a desire to be whipped is a bit silly. How can any of us disentangle our sexual tastes? So much goes into our experiences in our lives--there are a lot of things that turn some people on and turn other people off, and who can say why with a lot of them?

In any case, I'm not offended at all--it's not everyone's cup of tea, I know. But I have things that make me think, "How could anyone find that attractive or appealing at all?" But then I realize, hey, everyone is different. There are more fetishes and turn ons for people than there are stars in the sky, and we only get a tiny fraction of them ourselves. It's just the way people are--we are all different and experience things differently. It's just the way it is. less