Ok, we have been together for 13 years, and it seems she is indifferent about sex now.
Whenever we do have sex, I always make sure she is satisfied, and most times she has 2 or more orgasms. The problem is I can't seem to get her interested very often. I. Am always ready for it, and will do whatever she wants to make her happy. She claims I am the best lover she has ever had, so what's up....ladies ? less

Maybe it's not that the actual sex isn't good, but something internal. Depression? Exhaustion, stress, hormonal changes. All of these things can cause huge changes in how someone's sex drive is. I've been there.

If she's telling you it isn't the sex, then maybe it isn't. Do you think she seems satisfied when you guys do have sex? Maybe it's just about getting her stresses put aside long enough to do it? That's happened to me before, especially when I feel overloaded with things like work, kids, etc. If you guys have kids, that's probably taking a big toll!

I hate to say this, but sometimes if a partner is being really persistent or getting to the point of demanding sex, that'll turn you off. I am not saying you have done this, but if she feels pressure, that could be it. Again, not trying to say you're pressuring her or anything like that. I just wanted to throw it out there incase it could be that she's just feeling like ya'll's sex drives aren't matching up and in turn, feeling pressured to match yours.

13 years? Wow. That's great! And it sounds like this was kind of sudden, so it sounds doubtful that it's the sex she's not happy with. That wouldn't happen suddenly, after being very satisfied for 13 years. It's truly probably something big going on with her or in her life like stress and other things that have just built up. Have you asked her? I would definitely do that. My partner asks me -- for instance, the other night -- if I was feeling less interested or less satisfied and I'm glad he asked because that was not at all how I was feeling. I was totally happy to have the 3 sessions this week, but had very little sleep one day and was really down in the dumps and not as openly horny as usual (with the sex talk and such), so he wondered if I was having some kind of problems with the sex, when instead, it was my being tired.

Do you do foreplay and stuff? Have you changed anything during sex? Sometimes, when something gets left out that the other person really wants/needs or that they've become used to, they can be a little less enthusiastic about it. Perhaps out of confusion as to why it isn't happening anymore, if you've lost interest or whatever. I don't know the details. Just stating as many possibilities I can.

What about meds? Hormone changes, like I said? Those affect a woman's sex drive pretty drastically. less

I was just about to ask how old she is, but then I read menopause. That's gonna be the issue. I have very little knowledge of menopause but I assume that it definitely reduces sex drive and hormone production and does so gradually. There's nothing you can do physically, all you can do is be supporting, understanding and willing to adapt to this change.

It's important not to get fed up with her because she can't control it. You can get fed up with the situation all you want or blame father time who is a sonuvabitch.

As I see it you need to really understand what is going on. You can either have a very open discussion with her about it or you can do a lot of research and read books about the subject of menopause or you can go with your partner to her doctor and have them explain everything to you and you can ask questions. Maybe a higher dosage or supplemental drugs will do something or maybe you'll have to live on more hjs and bjs than actual sex. less

Menopause is not the problem. She had a hysterectomy before we met 13 plus years ago, and has been on HRT drugs since then. Her libido was fine the first 8 years or so, and we enjoyed a great sex life.
And hey, I would be fine with a Hand job or oral, even snuggling and me taking care of myself with her present. The thing is she seems to just discount my affections and make light of the fact she put me off. It is that attitude that bothers me the most. less