If you could give three simple pieces of advice to help men get better in bed, what would they be?

Contributor: Bubba29 Bubba29
If you could give three simple pieces of advice to help men get better in bed, what would they be?
01/27/2013
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Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
I'm assuming you mean advice to help "get better in bed" with females, so...

1) Don't be insecure about the size of your penis (or try not to let your insecurity show, particularly during sex) or otherwise focus all of your attention on your penis. I had a partner who had a perfectly lovely penis, in the upper end of the average range, and he was constantly talking about how he wished it was larger or thicker or whatever so he could....I guess impale his partners. I told him all the time that it was a very nice cock. It was a turn off. I mean, I wanted to fuck and he was either pouting about not having a monstrosity of a dick that would rip my vagina apart, or he was just trying to get me to stroke his ego.

2) Most women are more worried about what they (themselves) look like during sex than their (male) partners. Make sure and tell them they look good. Make sure your body language and facial expressions express your desire for her. If a woman feels sexy and desirable (and worshiped), she will be more relaxed, aroused, and will enjoy the experience more. This has nothing to do with your sexual techniques, just your general attitude towards her.

3) Don't just do things you see in porn. Take your time and use your hands and mouth to explore her body. Tell her beforehand that her pleasure is very important to you and you want to find out what works for HER (she should be made to feel special because SHE IS [that is important]), that there is NO pressure to fake pleasure, and that you're MORE THAN HAPPY to take your sweet precious time to satisfy her (because you are, right?).

4) (Yes, I know you said 3, but....whatevs) She most likely cares about your pleasure, too. If you really like what she's doing, MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS, DAMMIT. If what she's doing is ...not quite right, very gently guide her her in the right direction WHILE OFFERING LOTS OF PRAISE AND/OR ENCOURAGEMENT. I hate that I make it sound like you're training a puppy, but here's the thing: I usually have quite a bit of confidence in bed, but insecurity eats at my experience if I even remotely suspect I'm not rocking my partner's world....and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

....so basically, make sure she feels like the center of your universe and that she knows you're having a blast.
01/27/2013
Contributor: solitudinarian solitudinarian
Don't assume what works for one woman will work for all women (this can be applied to anyone, really). Going around saying that I'm "guaranteed" an orgasm if I have sex with you just makes you sound like a douche. You have to ask her what she likes.

Don't make her feel bad if she has difficulty reaching orgasm from PIV sex without clitoral stimulation. The majority of women cannot reach orgasm this way. It has nothing to do with the size of your penis or the sex toys she uses. Other issues may be at play (not being able to relax, medical conditions etc.), or they may not be. She may eventually be able to reach orgasm from intercourse alone, or she may not. Don't put too much pressure on her to come, but let her know that you care about her pleasure. Get her off in other ways.

FOREPLAY. That is all.
01/28/2013
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Bubba29
If you could give three simple pieces of advice to help men get better in bed, what would they be?
Not be selfish. That will not come naturally either.

Listen to your partner's likes/dislikes, even pay attention to how they react to your moves. It will tell you everything you'll need to know about how to please them if you simply listen and watch.

Give them intensity! Especially when you love someone, you can really have some intense, passionate, wild sex, and I think the intensity of the love and passion mixed brings SO much electricity during sex. That is just me though.

I actually think those are pretty good pieces of advice as far as being simple about it goes.
01/28/2013
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by solitudinarian
Don't assume what works for one woman will work for all women (this can be applied to anyone, really). Going around saying that I'm "guaranteed" an orgasm if I have sex with you just makes you sound like a douche. You have to ask ... more
YES! Foreplay. That is a must or else it's painful. Believe us on this one. Real sex is nothing like what people see in pornography. It sounds all fun to grab her and bang her, but it's not fun for a female. It HURTS. Foreplay or no play.
01/28/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
----Start the night OUT of bed!! Not with sexual actions, but rather by doing little things to make a woman feel pampered, loved and sexy. The better she feels about herself and the stronger she feels love for you--the better you are in bed!!! And do these things for her with no sex nights as well, you do not want your efforts to be confused with "putting out".

----Soft touches, sincere small compliments when she looks/does something/feels amazing. The more confidence you make her feel, the less you will worry about your own lack of confidence. The better the sexual experience--in and out of bed!

----Do NOT 'perform' during sex, insecure acts show through very easily... Lay back and take it sometimes, let her do all the work when she wants to!!! That is the sexiest of all, when you stop keeping tabs on the 'pay back' for sexual favors and pleasures....Honestly, relax, have fun and laugh while you try new things. Those who can laugh together, stay together.
01/28/2013
Contributor: laflauta laflauta
Communicate! It's my one major suggestion. Talk to her, ask her what she likes. Share your thoughts and feelings as well. Have a conversation about preferences, fantasies, and limits. Be nonjudgmental and willing to do a bit of experimentation. This doesn't end when you get in bed. Watch how she reacts to different things and listen to her when she says that she likes or dislikes. In the end, good sex is all about pleasing each other. Effective communication is the only way to make that happen.
01/28/2013