The New Intimacy

Lets be honest, are you a SEX ADDICT?

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Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
So like any other addictions (alcohol, smoking, drugs, money), when it comes to sex, what would best identify your status on the subject of SEX? I have made this poll private, in the interest of honest privacy.

I know that we all like sex in our daily lives. But the nature of the question is a serious one, in the fact that it could cause serious behavior problems that can get out of control. So keep your answer on those consequences.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
YES – obsessed
33  (26%)
Maybe more than I want to admit
27  (22%)
On the fence – not to sure
15  (12%)
No, but I would like to
4  (3%)
NO, definitely not!
43  (34%)
Other
3  (2%)
Total votes: 125
Poll is closed
02/14/2012
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Contributor: Jennysweets Jennysweets
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionateLover2
So like any other addictions (alcohol, smoking, drugs, money), when it comes to sex, what would best identify your status on the subject of SEX? I have made this poll private, in the interest of honest privacy.

I know that we all like sex in ... more
but there is nothing wrong with that
02/14/2012
Contributor: spunkmonkey spunkmonkey
I like sex, but it does not run my life
02/14/2012
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Okay, maybe I'm reading this incorrectly, but I'm really not understanding what the actual question is.
02/14/2012
Contributor: Jake'n'bake Jake'n'bake
I'm addicted in the sense that if I don't get any every 2-3 days or so I'll get pissy and cranky. However, I don't think about it ALL the time.
02/14/2012
Contributor: True Pleasures True Pleasures
Yup. Nympho here. I've always had a high sex drive as far back as I can remember, which is probably around 5 or 6..
02/14/2012
Contributor: Darklyvan Darklyvan
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionateLover2
So like any other addictions (alcohol, smoking, drugs, money), when it comes to sex, what would best identify your status on the subject of SEX? I have made this poll private, in the interest of honest privacy.

I know that we all like sex in ... more
no doubt about it
02/14/2012
Contributor: SJ88 SJ88
I don't think so.
02/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionateLover2
So like any other addictions (alcohol, smoking, drugs, money), when it comes to sex, what would best identify your status on the subject of SEX? I have made this poll private, in the interest of honest privacy.

I know that we all like sex in ... more
I love sex, Ilike thinking about it, writing about it and doing it BUT it doesn't affect my day to day life in a negative way, I do not use sex as a way to punish myself (sex addiction is about shaming the core and is not caused by a high sex drive or a desire to have sex often!). I am not a sex addict.
I have many other problems but to the total relief of my therapist I do not even score high on his "threat meter" for sex addiction...and yes I am completely honest with him about my lifestyle choices. I am addicted to carbohydrates, raw sugar and guilt.
02/14/2012
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
Most definitely...
02/15/2012
Contributor: MissCandyland MissCandyland
I think about it a lot, but I don't think I'm obsessed.
02/15/2012
Contributor: zeebot zeebot
No, not really.
02/15/2012
Contributor: KaraSutra KaraSutra
Not quite 'obsessed', more like if I can get it - I will! With bells on (not literally though, I did that once, made me think of Christmas Eve and Santa *shudders*)
02/15/2012
Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by wrecklesswords
Okay, maybe I'm reading this incorrectly, but I'm really not understanding what the actual question is.
I saw a Two and a Half-Men show recently, where Charlie Harper (who is very obsessed with sex) visited a group meeting of other sex addicts in order to put their obsessions into perspective (or under control as the case may be). I wondered if such a Association really exists? It made me think of other organizations like Alcohol Anonymous. So my question was asked in the context of addictions via SEX!
02/15/2012
Contributor: kittychilla kittychilla
i think about sex and generally dirty things a lot. i don't have a partner with me, but if i did i probably would initiate sex a lot. >3>
02/15/2012
Contributor: AHubbyof2SexualMinds AHubbyof2SexualMinds
Sex doesn't totally run my life, but I am pretty fixated on it a lot of the day. It doesn't help that in my job I have a lot of free time and can work on my sex blog and post here, which only fuels the fire.
02/15/2012
Contributor: rom323 rom323
according to my wife I am
02/15/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Sex does not keep me from tending to my responsibilities but if there's an open spot in my day, that's the subject I want to fill it with.
02/15/2012
Contributor: padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionateLover2
So like any other addictions (alcohol, smoking, drugs, money), when it comes to sex, what would best identify your status on the subject of SEX? I have made this poll private, in the interest of honest privacy.

I know that we all like sex in ... more
Yes. I am a sex addict most of the time. Sometimes there is a dip in my sex drive but it never seems to last for long.
02/15/2012
Contributor: wdanas wdanas
There is a big difference in liking sex a lot and having it frequently because it feels good, and being an actual sex addict. Sex addiction is not about the sex, it's about obsessive behavior being used to avoid reality or the pain and stress of everyday life due to having otherwise faulty coping mechanisms. This can come out as drug or alcohol abuse, overeating, compulsive sexual behavior, gambling... you get the point.

I have a family member that has dealt with sex addiction. With the support of family, 12-step groups, and a good therapist he is doing much better, but it was an eye-opening thing to learn, and as much a struggle for us to understand as it was for him to deal with. It also makes me cringe a bit these days when people claim to be a sex addict because they like having sex. For me, it's as absurd as someone claiming to be an alcoholic because they like the taste of a beer with their dinner. Liking something, and being compulsively driven to do a series of behaviors are so not the same thing.

For anyone that may be worried about themselves and their behaviors, you can use google to look up meetings or other help resources near you. There is no shame in it, and you sincerely have my best wishes for the healthiest and best outcome.
02/15/2012
Contributor: ❦Angel Of Music❦ ❦Angel Of Music❦
I wouldn't say I am addicted to sex, but since I started dating my boyfriend, I want it more now than I did with any of my ex's. Maybe it's because he is so good at it lol.
02/15/2012
Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by wdanas
There is a big difference in liking sex a lot and having it frequently because it feels good, and being an actual sex addict. Sex addiction is not about the sex, it's about obsessive behavior being used to avoid reality or the pain and stress of ... more
This was beautifully put! You're right on, with the importance of this subject. It should give us pause, that while we love SEX and for some of us who are obsessed with it, there are some people who struggle to cope with the consequences. Thanks!
02/15/2012
Contributor: joja joja
Quote:
Originally posted by wdanas
There is a big difference in liking sex a lot and having it frequently because it feels good, and being an actual sex addict. Sex addiction is not about the sex, it's about obsessive behavior being used to avoid reality or the pain and stress of ... more
Exactly what I came here to say
02/15/2012
Contributor: Deidrenicole Deidrenicole
my boyfriend thinks im a sex addict but i dont think im THAT extreme...
02/15/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
I think I just might be an actual sex addict. I masturbate freaking 5-8 times a day plus want sex twice at least. My hubby can't keep up.
02/15/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I love sex, Ilike thinking about it, writing about it and doing it BUT it doesn't affect my day to day life in a negative way, I do not use sex as a way to punish myself (sex addiction is about shaming the core and is not caused by a high sex ... more
Exactly. Thank you, Airen.

"Addiction" means the activity or substance causes you more harm than good, it interferes with your ability to eat, sleep, perform self care activities, socialize etc. You have tried to stop, due to ongoing harm to yourself and others and are unable to, and feel terrible about the addiction, but would harm yourself or others to continue on a decaying path.

Loving sex and having sex often is NOT an addiction. Using sex as a drug, not being able to say no to dangerous situations and dangerous people in order to get your "fix" seeing your life crumble because of the addiction would be. I would say very very few people are actual sex addicts.

Having a healthy, but robust sex life is NOT addiction!
02/15/2012
Contributor: jjdd jjdd
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionateLover2
So like any other addictions (alcohol, smoking, drugs, money), when it comes to sex, what would best identify your status on the subject of SEX? I have made this poll private, in the interest of honest privacy.

I know that we all like sex in ... more
I said other because I used to think I was addicted when I was younger. I slept with a lot of men in a pretty short time frame, sometimes more than one a day, sometimes I didn't know there names, etc. But, as I got older I stopped feeling like sex was SO important and stopped making as many reckless, hurtful decisions. No therapy or anything (at least for sex addiction) I just outgrew it.
02/15/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by wdanas
There is a big difference in liking sex a lot and having it frequently because it feels good, and being an actual sex addict. Sex addiction is not about the sex, it's about obsessive behavior being used to avoid reality or the pain and stress of ... more
Thank you for reiterating this point! Sex Addictionis not about liking, thinking about or having lots of sex...it is a destructive addiction that has it's core in shaming the self. Most true sex addicts will admit they don't really LIKE the actual act of sex or derive much pleasure from the act.
It is frequently seen hand in hand with alcoholism or drug addiction and is NOT something generally seen on sex positive sites as the acts committed by sex addicts are generally NOT sex positive or safe.

Let's please begin to stop the shaming behavior of calling a high sex drive or a love of frequent sex an addiction...it's not.
02/15/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
I think I just might be an actual sex addict. I masturbate freaking 5-8 times a day plus want sex twice at least. My hubby can't keep up.
Unless your masturbation is covering a sense of self loathing or putting distance between your partner and you then it's probably not addictive behavior. Now if you think that your habits are beginning to negatively impact your life or the lives of those around you then I would urge you to seek help from a professional who can evaluate whether you have a high sex drive or are actually caught in the cycle of addiction. There is a major difference between frequent masturbation and addictive behavior, really though unless it is causing you to miss out on regular life activities or putting strain on your relationship you shouldn't worry.
02/15/2012
Contributor: MR Chickhabit MR Chickhabit
absolutley a sex addict, although i did take a month off masturbation in order to see if i could.

was a bit rocky in the beginning but i got the hang of it.
02/15/2012