DrGraceG DrGraceG
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A lot of couples these days are making complaints about their partner
rejecting their advances, inventing headaches and expressing lack of
interest in making love. We are suffering from sexless relationships
because with the workload, the stress, we forget about intimacy and
romance, and sometimes... we just think that once the person is ours, we do
not have to do all the extras, and the work, to maintain the feeling of being
in love.

Please read the page about intimacy and romantic ideas. Love is like a
garden, it is a living thing, if you don't tend to it, care for it, and feed the
seeds, and plants you worked so hard in the first place to plant... it will
wither away and die.

In other words, no matter how long you have been together, you need to
remain romantic, enthusiastic and pleasing, in order to keep the love and
desire going and growing. Submit to your heart. Put your mates desires,
needs and wants, before your own desires and needs.
Every woman wants to be treated like a princess, like a Goddess, she wants
to be appreciated, respected and desired, in the bedroom and out of it...
Every Man wants to be respected appreciated and desired. They want to be
the stud, the lion in a woman's life... in and out the bedroom.

We have to concentrate on making our mutual love grow, more and more
each year, not get comfortable in what we currently have.

If you constantly disappoint someone and hurt someones feelings, or do
things to upset them during the day, if you ignore them in any way, or
reject them in any way... you can not expect her to be willing to give her
body to you. A woman will long for a caring warm gentle man, who cares
about who she is and what she needs, rather than to have a man, who treats
her like her opinion doesn't matter, who has no time to listen to her, who
thinks that when she needs to talk to him about what is bothering her, that
she is "nagging", and doesn't care about her on every day basis. You may
think and say you love her, but what do your "actions" actually show her?

Do you listen to her with your heart? Do you actually hear what she is
saying? Or do you think about how wrong she is and what your come back
will be? If you don't listen to her the way you want her to listen to You, your
life together will be nothing but a bunch of unresolved issues,
misunderstandings, constant unhappiness and problems. How about
reversing the roles and putting your self in her shoes. How would you want
this solved? How would you want her to respond if you wanted to confide
in her? Or came to her with a problem you needed help with?

Another problem in todays relationships is alienation. Remember if you
often work long hours, and are thinking about her at all during the day...
send her a little email, "I love You, thinking of you" or "Missing you,
beautiful" that will light her heart, a lot. It will make her smile. Then on
the way home, get her one symbolic rose or her favorite flower. Just one.
You don't need to go nuts. If you make plans with her, unless you really
have to, never ever break them at the last minute, a woman will remember
and add up all the times you have disappointed her and made her sad.

If you had to disappoint her a lot, because of work for a while now, book a
weekend away just for the two of you. Leave the cell phone at home. If you
take her away and are still always on the cell phone not paying attention to
her it doesn't make up for anything. If you can't afford to get away, make it
a weekend at home. Don't take calls from anyone, they can leave a message.
Even if it's very important, because is it more important than "not loosing
your lover?" Get candles, make dinner, set up a romantic environment and
concentrate ONLY on your romantic time.

Do not let ANYTHING distract you from it. If you want to watch a movie
together after dinner, watch something romantic, erotic. Then lay down
together and talk. Talk about what you have been missing all this time by
being so busy, let your lover know you have been thinking about her even
if you didn't show it. Complement each other. Tell each other how you
can't imagine your life without them in it. FLATTER EACH OTHER TO
NO END. Kiss all the time. Gentle, flirtatious, sensual kisses. Glide your
hands on each others skin. Give her or him a warm body oil massage.

When a either man or a woman truly loves you, she or he wants to feel
close to you, they want to feel they have your attention, not being close and
intimate for too long, will dissipate their feelings for you. Little by little day
after day... they will fall further and further away. Or more accurately... you
will push them away. Humans need closeness when they are truly in love,
when your distance does not seem to bother your mate any more, there is
something very wrong.

Believe it or not, women's hearts go cold as well... when she is neglected for
too long, she will try not feel pain, at first it will be hard to ignore it, but
then the longer she is ignored, it will become easier and easier, when it
becomes cold, you will be in trouble.

A woman who can't feel any more
because of the neglect, will be much harder to win over again, harder than
when you first met. When you seize to be intimate, when
you seize to have sex, you both stop exposing your voulnerablility to each
other, that is when we grow close to each other the most. When that stops,
the emotions in us do not know what to do and they simply die little by little.

To win it over again, you will have to
make her fall in love with you again.
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