The New Intimacy

Physical Attraction: do you need to be or are you attracted to your partner sexually? (private poll)

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Contributor: Peggi Peggi
So a friend of mine just said something that seemed incredibly odd to me! She said that she is not physically attracted to her husband, with whom she has been with for 5 years. They have two children together and she loves him, but she doesn't find him "sexy" or even attractive. She says that this doesn't affect the way she feels about him, but he is heavy to her and she prefers a man with some abs. They have two kids but I asked about their sex life and they have what she calls mind-blowing sex on a regular basis...

So, my question is, if you have a partner are you attracted to their body? Do you find them sexy? If you are single, when it comes to past and potential lovers, do you need to find them physically attractive in order to be with them?

I've set this poll to private but feel free to explain your answers if you'd like!
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I find my partner physically attractive
87
I do not find my partner physically attractive (but it's what is inside that counts!)
7
I would need to find my partner attractive or I could not stay with them
36
I would not need to find my partner attractive to stay with them
18
The infamous "other"
14
Total votes: 162 (109 voters)
Poll is closed
10/01/2011
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Contributor: Peggi Peggi
I find my current partner to be extremely sexy but I've dated some in the past where I didn't find them as physically attractive, but it put a damper in the sex for me, which is why I found my friend's thought on her relationship with her husband interesting.
10/01/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I have always been very physically attracted to my spouse. We work at it. I'm just glad I don't have to make that kind of choice. Should something change, I would stay with her - there is no doubt.
10/01/2011
Contributor: Ace <3 Ace <3
I love my partner. She's beautiful. Although she doesn't have the best confidence level most times. I have to be physically attracted to whoever I'm dating, but it isn't everything...I go for personality more
10/01/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I generally only couple up with fellas that I'm sexually attracted to. That doesn't necessarily mean they're "attractive" by normal standards, but they have something that catches my eye...

That said, there have been one or two instances where I gave things a shot even when I wasn't physically attracted because I liked the guy's personality enough, and sex was really underwhelming because I wasn't able to 'let go' the way I usually do...

So my answer's kind of in the middle. As far as aging, greying or losing hair, wrinkles---I'm sure my partner will continue to be sexy to me. But for someone I didn't find sexually attractive in the first place, I would think sex would never really be able to be as good as if I was attracted. So, yes, I need physical attraction---but once I have it it's not something that will grow dusty with age. The sparkle in someone's eye never fades...
10/01/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
I generally only couple up with fellas that I'm sexually attracted to. That doesn't necessarily mean they're "attractive" by normal standards, but they have something that catches my eye...

That said, there have been one ... more
Could not have said it better! I totally agree with this.
10/01/2011
Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
I find him hot sometimes, but sometimes I'm just not that into him and would prefer something/someone else. It all depends.
10/02/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Since I first met my husband, I was attracted to him.

Having said that, based on past relationships, I do not look at the physical so much. I am attracted to the person inside the skin first, more so, than the skin itself. I discovered at a very early age, if a person has an ugly personality and is ugly toward others, their physical being (even if I initially think they are hot) will turn ugly as well.

I love my husband, I think he is incredibly sexy, his personality is delightful, and I enjoy his sense of humor (even if I am pissed off at him). I think I am a better lover if I am attracted to the body, mind and spirit as a whole, than just one thing or another.
10/02/2011
Contributor: JaneDoe ToyCollector JaneDoe ToyCollector
Although everything you feel inside counts,I MUST BE attracted to my partner physically!
10/02/2011
Contributor: AMGuidroz AMGuidroz
I do find my partner physically attractive. But even if I didn't, I would still love him for who he is!
10/02/2011
Contributor: ScotchIrish ScotchIrish
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
So a friend of mine just said something that seemed incredibly odd to me! She said that she is not physically attracted to her husband, with whom she has been with for 5 years. They have two children together and she loves him, but she doesn't ... more
There has to be something that attack's people. And the folks that say it is what is on the inside. I am not being shallow. But, there are very few of you in the world. And, as for what is on the inside. If I experience time with a women that I find attractive, stimulating and desirable. She will be rewarded with the best that I can give, have and deliver to her for the opportunity and time. I do not take this lightly. In my 48 years, just 2 women. Why, because the women do not come my way, I try (no, not that/to hard) some guys have it and I do not. I wish I had had more, but it was not in the cars. I have some time left, and I want to enjoy, satisfy and find the women that want a man who is honest, loving and desires to be with the woman/women that will share his bed.
PS. This is a sex site. Let's stop playin lil word games and asking non sexual related things. Let's kick up the sex. You want PG FB, then go there.
10/02/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
I am physically attracted to my fiancee. At this point in our relationship, I'd stay with her even if that attraction is lost. Our connection is way deeper than just on the surface.
10/02/2011
Contributor: ScotchIrish ScotchIrish
Hey, this is a sex / relation site. Yes it is nice to talk about other things. But, other sites are available for that. I do not need to know that you like origami, unless your a women that can bend and fold like a pretzel piece of paper. Or your a guy who can express a lesson that you learned while dating or having sex with someone. I expect some hate mail, but there are plenty of PG sites for you to discuss your favorite TV show, shop at the Mall or dinner. Sorry folks. My time is limited and I want to learn from you about SEX. I am on ten to fifteen sites for different sites for interest frm food, culture, politics, environment...ect so, why don't we just talk about SEX, Physicality, What you DO and Don't Do or Like, How you do things, your Prep work, your toys and how they affect you. I am not being mean and trust me; I would love to get nasty. But, in a good way. Let's refocus and heat things up. All the Best. BOTTOMS up. SCOTCHIRISH. My Drink My Heritage.
10/02/2011
Contributor: ScotchIrish ScotchIrish
Ok, has anyone every been PHYSICALLY hurt by their partner during Intercourse. I mean, really hurt, hospital hurt, emergency room. You hear stories, Let us share some factual experiences. I have never hurt or burn hurt long term. Just a thought.
10/02/2011
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
I can be sexually attracted to someone without finding them visually attractive. But I do think my boyfriend is attractive.
10/02/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by ScotchIrish
Ok, has anyone every been PHYSICALLY hurt by their partner during Intercourse. I mean, really hurt, hospital hurt, emergency room. You hear stories, Let us share some factual experiences. I have never hurt or burn hurt long term. Just a thought.
Please do not hijack someone's thread. If you'd like to create a new one which addresses these things, that is great; however, hijacking a thread is frowned upon.
10/02/2011
Contributor: Illumin8 Illumin8
I am totally and completely physically attracted to my wife!
10/02/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
Please do not hijack someone's thread. If you'd like to create a new one which addresses these things, that is great; however, hijacking a thread is frowned upon.
thank you!
10/02/2011
Contributor: poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
So a friend of mine just said something that seemed incredibly odd to me! She said that she is not physically attracted to her husband, with whom she has been with for 5 years. They have two children together and she loves him, but she doesn't ... more
I find my man attractive and I think its funny that I do because I have always been attracted to bigger men. Tall guys kinda husky, and I met the guy im with now and I think if him and I broke up I would stick with the skinny muscular white boys lol..
10/03/2011
Contributor: MissStormRyder MissStormRyder
Maybe I'm a bit shallow but the way a guy, or girl looks is what draws me to them initially after that it's all about what kind of person they are.
I learned a long time ago that some of the most beautiful people are also the ugliest, believe me I have dated some absolutely gorgeous guys that were horrible people on the inside.
I know a lot of people think I'm too thin, too tall, boobs are to small...blah, blah, blah..whatever..L0L
But all in all they have to be kind and thoughtful..you know just a good person...in the end I guess thats what is most important
10/03/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I actually prefer not to be attracted to a potential partner at first cause I will fall for their looks alone. That doesn't work long term for me.

But if I think the guy is 'ok' looking I tend to focus on their character. Once I fall for the right persons character they become extremely sexually appealing to me in every possible way!
10/03/2011
Contributor: js250 js250
Attraction is all in the eyes of the beholder, however, I am seriously attracted to my husband. And he gets plenty of looks and flirting from other women - luckily I know he is all mine!
10/03/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
Please do not hijack someone's thread. If you'd like to create a new one which addresses these things, that is great; however, hijacking a thread is frowned upon.
Thanks
10/03/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by Shellz31
I actually prefer not to be attracted to a potential partner at first cause I will fall for their looks alone. That doesn't work long term for me.

But if I think the guy is 'ok' looking I tend to focus on their character. Once I ... more
I think that's an interesting way to look at it
10/03/2011
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
I definitely find my man sexy. He's a bit heavy, but I like it. He's like a teddy bear. And he's got a wonderful personality. I got lucky.
10/03/2011
Contributor: averageguyextrodinarypleasure averageguyextrodinarypleasure
I am most definitely attracted to my wife in a physical sense I don't think its thee most important thing but its up there.
10/03/2011
Contributor: carenautilus carenautilus
I'm having a hard time with this question. Yes, I have to be attracted to someone to want to have sex with them. But the way I experience attraction doesn't really fall into "physical" and "emotional/mental" as separate categories. A lot of the physical things that draw me to a person aren't solely physical. Take my lovely partner. She's gorgeous because she has wide hips and small hands and short curly hair. But if she wasn't expressive and fey, if she didn't stomp and preen and flutter, she wouldn't be nearly as handsome. Asking if I'm attracted to her body feels like asking if I'm attracted to her left leg. Her physical attractiveness is all wrapped up in the way she inhabits and moves in her body, not just the body itself.
10/05/2011
Contributor: KrazyKandy KrazyKandy
I think my hubby is sexy, it was actually the reason I started talking to him. I have dated many guys that arent sexy but have a great personality and I just cant be happy. Being hit on a lot and not being able to be proud of who I am with affects my relationships so I am glad my hubby is hot and has an awesome personality.
10/05/2011
Contributor: lilly555 lilly555
I didn't find my partner physically attractive when I first met him, he was too scruffy for me, but then I got to know him and now I find him to be sexy on the inside and out.
10/05/2011
Contributor: TheBadHobbit TheBadHobbit
Quote:
Originally posted by Shellz31
I actually prefer not to be attracted to a potential partner at first cause I will fall for their looks alone. That doesn't work long term for me.

But if I think the guy is 'ok' looking I tend to focus on their character. Once I ... more
This. So much THIS. The two people I've been most attracted to were both a little 'meh' or 'eh, not too bad' at first, but as I got to know them better suddenly their every little part, movement, and mannerism becomes incredibly attractive to me It's like . . I really like them, so I end up really liking the way in which they express themselves with their meat suit.

. . okay, that came out a little creepier than I meant it to XD
11/01/2011