sex before marriage and guilt.

sex before marriage and guilt.

aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
on the topic of religion and its effect on sexuality:
wondering how many of you have felt at some point in your life a sense of guilt over being sexual before marriage?

how many of you eventually overcame that feeling to pursue a healthy, guilt-free sex life?

how many of you still stand with that belief and choose not to participate in sex before marriage again?


thanks for your input!

Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
i have had sex before marriage and felt guilty, but no longer do i feel this way
22  (28%)
i have had sex before marriage and felt guilty, and am no longer sexually active because of it
1  (1%)
i have not had sex before marriage because my religion forbids it
2  (3%)
i have never had any guilt around sex due to religion
25  (32%)
i have never had any guilt around sex period.
28  (36%)
Total votes: 78
Poll is closed
09/05/2011
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Sir Sir
No guilt about sex. At all.
09/05/2011
Peggi Peggi
I wasn't exactly feeling guilty for religious reasons, as much as I was for the simple fact that my parents would've been disappointed in me, and I lost my virginity at 15. The guilt I felt was from that, not from the religious standpoint, although the reason my mom was so adamant about me not having sex until after marriage was because of her religion. I, on the other hand, am under a separate religion, which doesn't focus on going against pre-marital sex.
09/05/2011
Ryuson Ryuson
I used to, but I worked it out with God and now I feel okay with it. Lots of prayer was involved!
09/06/2011
Rossie Rossie
Why should there be guilt??? God does not have anything to do with my sex life!
09/06/2011
Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
Why should there be guilt??? God does not have anything to do with my sex life!
Sometimes, with certain religions, it says that pre-marital sex is a sin.

In other religions or for people who aren't religious it may not be a sin, but like in my case, I was still a teen and the guilt came from feeling like I betrayed my parents.

And then for some, sexuality isn't frowned upon, or they don't care about others' opinions.

For me, with my beliefs, sexuality is believed to be a way of expression and it isn't a "sin" and God doesn't look down on anyone for it. But other religions are strict on that. Just like they are with sexual orientation. Some religions are even against other religions!
09/06/2011
Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Other: Actually, I felt regret that I had not chosen better before having sex, and I thought at the time that if i had chosen a path where I would have gotten married, I would have skipped a lot of bad experiences, but I might not be who I am now.

No guilt though.
09/06/2011
Ghost Ghost
I've never felt guilty about it.. but I'm also not religious.
09/06/2011
Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
Sometimes, with certain religions, it says that pre-marital sex is a sin.

In other religions or for people who aren't religious it may not be a sin, but like in my case, I was still a teen and the guilt came from feeling like I betrayed ...
I understand!

And because of all those crazy rules, I'm adamant being non-religious.

Honestly, unless I've been sleeping around like a slut before marriage, I won't have any guilt at all!
09/06/2011
Kkay Kkay
My religion doesn't attach shame or guilt to sex before marriage. I knew that I loved the person I was with, and that was all I needed to make the decision.
09/06/2011
K101 K101
I am a Christian so when I lost my virginity I knew it was wrong, the wrong time, the wrong person, the wrong age, the wrong everything! I still did it because the guy told me I was too scared and when it came down to it, I was. I didn't want to, but felt like I'd look so stupid if I said no. Thing is, I didn't know how stupid I really was for NOT saying no. It was just a huge stupidity on my part. Lol. My partner and I have been together for 5 years now so I honestly do not feel wrong doing it since we are monogamous, have a relationship with God, have a healthy Christian relationship and are 100% totally committed to only each other. I don't think God sees a piece of paper and a ring on your finger as your right to sex. I think it has everything to do with the relationship. We still are waiting to move in together though because of many things including the fact I'm still in school. Sounds weird, but I have never found a thing in the bible about that specific paper meaning a couple is married. To us, we believe we are married in God's eyes. We may be wrong, but until we learn other wise... We prefer waiting to make live in our house until we're married because that is what we want and to set a good example for the kids and because I need to finish school before we take that on. Plus our house got the roof torn off in the tornado! Lol so we can't move in until that's fixed. Anyways, I try to follow what the bible says. I don't lie, steal (usually! Lol I'm JK!) or kill very often. Lol. I'm only kidding, but I do try to live by God's word.
09/06/2011
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
on the topic of religion and its effect on sexuality:
wondering how many of you have felt at some point in your life a sense of guilt over being sexual before marriage?

how many of you eventually overcame that feeling to pursue a healthy, ...
My first experience was with a guy who used me. A dud. I did regret it for a while, but it is what it is. Cannot change the past.
09/06/2011
fabidefabi fabidefabi
Many religious views are outdated and not applicable in our society. Plus how do truly please your loved one without practicing? How do you truly know you or they are doing it right?
09/06/2011
mcl272 mcl272
i think everyone experiments when there young. nothing to feel guilty about, one of those "everybody does it" things. but, as you get older you learn from that! (well some people do) i haven't had many partners & don't feel guilty about my past. although, i wouldn't say that i'm proud that i didn't wait for the right one. i do think it would have been more special if i had of waited. but, you never know when the right one comes along until you have them!(i have him now ) i will marry this one with 100% happiness! i also don't think there's anything wrong with sex before marriage. (i wouldn't say the same for sleeping around) but if you actually care about somebody then that should be your choice, no judgement!
09/06/2011
Beaners Beaners
Never felt guilty. Gotta try it before you buy it. I think that not allowing couples to have sex before marriage is just dooming them for failure. Which isn't allowed by the Bible either. Forgive me for paraphrasing.
09/06/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
No guilt about sex. Religious or otherwise.

There's nothing in the Bible about not having sex. Or sex being wrong. The Songs of Solomon are about sex. In Genesis people had plenty of sex without marriage. (Who was it who met a woman and just took her into the brush and made love to her? One of the Patriarchs, if I'm not mistaken. I believe the woman's name was Rebecca. I forget his name. He just saw her, told her he loved her and they made love in the dirt. Nobody got upset about it. That tells me it was a common occurrence.

People have sex. Why would and all powerful being get upset about two consenting pleasuring each other? HOW could that be wrong? EVER?

What churches "say" and what the actual Word is are often very different.
09/06/2011
cheetahpita cheetahpita
no guilt here, but I'm also not very religious.
09/06/2011
Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
No guilt about sex. At all.
Same here.
09/06/2011
Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
on the topic of religion and its effect on sexuality:
wondering how many of you have felt at some point in your life a sense of guilt over being sexual before marriage?

how many of you eventually overcame that feeling to pursue a healthy, ...
When it comes to religion and sex -- I'm curious to know what religious people think about "thy shall not commit adultery". I've known quite a few people who are devoted church members, and have been in extramarital affairs, in my opinion that's the thing people (religious or not) should feel bad about.
09/06/2011
Callisto Callisto
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
on the topic of religion and its effect on sexuality:
wondering how many of you have felt at some point in your life a sense of guilt over being sexual before marriage?

how many of you eventually overcame that feeling to pursue a healthy, ...
I feel guilty but I've basically stopped myself. I have urges but also now have tools that will help curb those impulses etc. I feel empowered that I don't need to sleep with someone to have a fulfilling experience and can save that for my husband.
09/06/2011
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
When it comes to religion and sex -- I'm curious to know what religious people think about "thy shall not commit adultery". I've known quite a few people who are devoted church members, and have been in extramarital affairs, in my ...
So true.
09/06/2011
JRabbits JRabbits
I had sex because I didn't want to wait for marriage. . . also because I don't plan on getting married so there really wasn't any reason not to. Plus I don't have a religion.
09/06/2011
mandiegk mandiegk
I went to Catholic school so I was pretty much brainwashed to feel guilty about being sexual. I got over that quickly when I went to college.
09/07/2011
Istanbull Istanbull
My religion sees all acts of love and joy to be how you worship the Gods.. and this includes sex.

Often religions that place negative views of sex in their followers also place far too much emphesis on virginity. Virginity is made too big a deal of and waiting untill marriage almost always guarentees a divorse once the couple discovers how much they don't have in common in bed. The only reason divorse is higher then 40 years ago when most women did wait till marriage is because they were stuck in that marriage by the same religious doctrin that made them wait.
09/07/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
I've never felt guilty about sex! I refuse to allow anything to make me feel guilty about enjoying my pleasure.
09/07/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
No guilt about sex. Religious or otherwise.

There's nothing in the Bible about not having sex. Or sex being wrong. The Songs of Solomon are about sex. In Genesis people had plenty of sex without marriage. (Who was it who met a woman and ...
What churches "say" and what the actual Word is are often very different.
I agree with you completely on this issue. The Ten Commandments say nothing about, Thou Shall Not Have Sex Prior To Marriage.

All my past experiences make me who I am today and I am wiser for them. I do not look back on the past with regret. I look at the present and to the future. I believe we should view life through the windshield, instead of the rearview mirror.

Guilt is a terrible thing to impress upon ones self. It creates extreme stress and fretting over things you can not undo can manifest as physical ailments.
09/07/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
when i first had sex, i felt super guilty. after coming to terms with my religious beliefs, i no longer feel guilty, just pleasured.
09/07/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
What churches "say" and what the actual Word is are often very different.
I agree with you completely on this issue. The Ten Commandments say nothing about, Thou Shall Not Have Sex Prior To Marriage.

All my past experiences make ...
I wholeheartedly agree. One should only (IMO) feel guilt if one knowingly did something to harm an other. Whom does consensual sex harm? No one.
09/07/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
anyone else ever feel like this?
10/28/2011
LAndJ LAndJ
We're both non-religious, and I feel no guilt. His parents are strict Catholics, so I think that weighs in on him once and a while though.
11/23/2011
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