The New Intimacy

Sex with the Ex!! Spill the beans..

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Contributor: Katelyn Katelyn
I recently had sex with an ex of mine that I have been broken up with for eight months. It hasn't yet become an issue and we are both sure we don't want to date each other again.
Do you think going from lover to ex to friend to one night stand is a lot of strain on a relationship?

Do you think this will turn awkward? Has this ever happened to you? Tell us your story's!

(and do you think the sex outside of the relationship was better? Because it was amazing for me)
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I am a man and I...
11
I am a woman and....
46
I am inter-sexed and I....
2
have never and would never go down this road.
26
have done this but would never do this again.
18
have done this and if placed in the situation would do this again.
14
(the sex is better after a breakup)
9
(the sex was awkward and bad)
7
I felt guilty
9
I felt no guilt
11
Other: tell your story : )
6
Total votes: 159 (63 voters)
Poll is closed
12/19/2011
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Contributor: Love Perpetua Love Perpetua
I had sex with an ex about a year after we broke up. The sex was amazing, but we started having sex regularly, and then I realized he was still in love with me. He thought the fact that we were having sex meant we were going to get back together. I felt so awful because I did still love him, but I wasn't interested in getting back together. So, I felt really bad because I should have used better judgement.
12/19/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
That's not something I've ever done, nor would I ever do it. Seems like it would really complicate things.
12/19/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
meh, I've done it before a few times with different exes and it was really nothing to write home about. The sex wasn't as magical as it was during our relationship because I lost my attraction to them. And after we had sex, we moved on and called it a day.

I would probably do it again if it was someone that I had a decent break up with. If you know what you're doing, things can remain pretty simple.
12/19/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
My ex and I were in the process of breaking up once during our relationship and ended up having sex a few times before we got back together. It was awkward and not fantastic and I felt really guilty because I knew that it wasn't going to help end things.
12/19/2011
Contributor: Drakoni Drakoni
According to psychologists who research relationships, after break-up sex only serves to confuse the break-up process and hurts both individuals. I recommend not going down that road. I've seen friends hurt themselves badly by doing that.
12/19/2011
Contributor: Sublime Sublime
I've had great break up sex and terrible break up sex.

Though I'll agree generally in every breakup there is one person who wants more, so when factoring breakup sex into it you could hurt someone or yourself.
12/19/2011
Contributor: cathy23 cathy23
I actually miss sex with my ex sometimes, (we broke up as friends).
12/22/2011
Contributor: Angelica Angelica
One of my exes had been wanting to do stuff again for old time sake. I'm dating someone now so its not going to happen.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Entropy Entropy
Quote:
Originally posted by Katelyn
I recently had sex with an ex of mine that I have been broken up with for eight months. It hasn't yet become an issue and we are both sure we don't want to date each other again.
Do you think going from lover to ex to friend to one night ... more
Long story that I'll keep brief: Married at 18, lost virginity to said wife. She cheated on me with coworker, got pregnant by said coworker. Several times during our separation (and after our divorce) we bumped pelvises. It was better sex than when we were married.
12/23/2011
Contributor: klyte klyte
It can be fun with no feelings attached :/
12/23/2011
Contributor: Love Perpetua Love Perpetua
I still fantasize about the sex though...it was some of the best sex I have ever had.
12/24/2011
Contributor: Katelyn Katelyn
Quote:
Originally posted by klyte
It can be fun with no feelings attached :/
Ahh, it is so hard though : )
12/28/2011
Contributor: CreamySweet CreamySweet
Quote:
Originally posted by Katelyn
I recently had sex with an ex of mine that I have been broken up with for eight months. It hasn't yet become an issue and we are both sure we don't want to date each other again.
Do you think going from lover to ex to friend to one night ... more
Interesting timing for this posting. So a friend of mine got me to join a gym with her so we could work out together. She and I went to school together so we know a lot of the same folks obviously. Well... one of the other gals we know who work at the gym is divorcing a guy who I knocked boots with back in high school and shortly after a few times. We were never in a relationship - only fuck buddies, but none the less she (Ex-wife to be) doesn't know we ever got it on as far as I know. He still works out at the gym where she works - and now I go - and she can't stand him. So about the third day of me going he sees me there and gives me a big hug. Now not to give him credit but as I remember the sex was really good back when with him and he is really hot looking still. So... Yep we wound up naked in the back of my excursion and he fucked me silly sideways in the gym parking lot. That was our first encounter - but also in the first week of going here. So we shall see if and when it happens again.
12/28/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I have done this once, but wouldn't again cause I just felt like a door mat. One clearly doesn't want to be with the other (ex), but is happy to use them for sex. Doesn't fly with me now that I'm older and wiser!
12/28/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
I would never go down that road. For one thing, I'm super picky about who I sleep with, and for another, I feel like it would make it less of a clean break.
12/28/2011
Contributor: sexydelphia sexydelphia
never
12/28/2011
Contributor: SaMiKaY SaMiKaY
Before I got with my current guy, I slept with my ex.


Not gonna lie, it was the best sex I had ever had with him =)
12/29/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Katelyn
I recently had sex with an ex of mine that I have been broken up with for eight months. It hasn't yet become an issue and we are both sure we don't want to date each other again.
Do you think going from lover to ex to friend to one night ... more
I am still with my first sex partner and my lifepartner is the only other guy in my life. I can imagine that sex with either of them would be amazing regardless of our relationship status but might be a bit more of a mind fuck than I would want...I tend to mix feelings in when I have sex so it would probably be very painful later on unless it was well thought and planned out. I am just gonna go with I hope to never find out!
12/29/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
I wouldn't even go there.
12/29/2011
Contributor: averageguyextrodinarypleasure averageguyextrodinarypleasure
My ex is a weirdo I wouldn't want to travel down that road again
12/30/2011
Contributor: Katelyn Katelyn
Haha, I guess it really depends on who the Ex is! I have ex's I would never do this with too but this one ex is great in bed and out lol. I still can't decide if it was bad for our friendship though.
01/03/2012
Contributor: Illumin8 Illumin8
Wouldn't ever be interested in this.
01/04/2012
Contributor: Teacookie Teacookie
went into a relationship havign multiple pratners/pillows/make out buddies. H eas okay buuuuut I moved. So seeing my buddies was not an option. when i did see my ex I had sex with him and when I got home I told the bf and he was upset and tried to kill him self. Was kicked out and told never to see him again by his mom and friends. Left him a note say I do love him and to call if he wants the relationship to continue. 2 weeks later i got a call coming up on 5 years now. Yes it is an open relationship still.

With the option to have sex with any one I want so long as they are approved and have medical records I am less likely to stray or want to stray. I believe that mono relationships create a tension that thrills people when they stray, take the "Bad" away and they won't. Then again sex is sex to me it's not love it can be a show of love if you want but it's not "Love". I find this makes interacting with males easier and I am the one in control. the if I ove him I will have sex with him never comes up. Instead it's damn it get out of your depression, I will fuck you silly tell you smile. Or Well I'm not in the mode but since i don't want you to be blue balled or distracted sure.
01/04/2012
Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
Been there---done that! Never again. I felt cheap.
01/04/2012
Contributor: pasdechat pasdechat
I never have--I doubt that there are very many instances where it could truly be a no-strings attached kind of thing for both people. I once came close to propositioning a guy who had just broken up with me for one more time together, but I came to my senses and realized that if I had gone through with it, I would have felt like it was pathetic looking back on it.
06/07/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
It happened once, but it was really awkward and I wouldn't do it again. It wasn't worth it, but she was also odd, so your results may vary
06/08/2012
Contributor: Katelyn Katelyn
Quote:
Originally posted by SaMiKaY
Before I got with my current guy, I slept with my ex.


Not gonna lie, it was the best sex I had ever had with him =)
Ha I love this. That is at least one good story.

Mine did turn awkward! I was all "boo hoo I may still be in love with you." -It was met with a cold glare (or blank IM window lol). Wow, I am so much more emotional than I ever realized. But I think I was just a bit confused, I mean great sex is easily confused with love ; )
07/20/2012
Contributor: Cora Jane Cora Jane
It's happened only once for me and it was an exceptional situation. I can't imagine it would ever happen again, but I think in certain situations it can work out fine if both people are on the same page.
07/20/2012
Contributor: Katelyn Katelyn
Quote:
Originally posted by Cora Jane
It's happened only once for me and it was an exceptional situation. I can't imagine it would ever happen again, but I think in certain situations it can work out fine if both people are on the same page.
It is important to communicate needs ad desires : )
07/27/2012