Sexual Size. Sexual Incredible.

Contributor: Dragon Dragon
We have all heard that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Yet men are very visual creatures and lingerie sells very well to make us all look more sexy.

We live in a very body conscious society, and you're going to step on someone's toes if you say that someone is overweight or fat. Watch your step. Even "too thin" will hurt feelings.

Yet, I know...
I know that if you let go of some preconceived image of what your sexuality is, then you may find out that there is incredibly sexuality that exists.

The most sexual person that I know is not the ideal that I dreamed of in my youth. He's big. Overweight. Oh, but he knows how to please a woman, knows about sex. He knows how to drive someone wild and how to make them beg for more. He is alive in his sexuality.

My husband, has chosen not to really even get to know people because they don't meet his "standards." I think that he will never know what he could have missed in this life.

If you limit your conceptions, you limit your life.

Who else has found that once they moved past preconceived sexual beauty they found some amazing experiences?
02/26/2009
  • Save Extra 50% On Sexobot Attachment
  • Long-distance pleasure set for couples
  • Upgrade Your Hands-Free Play!
  • Anal Sub Hook&Rope Kit for $28.99 Only
  • Complete strap-on set for extra 15% off
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Contributor: Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
We have all heard that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Yet men are very visual creatures and lingerie sells very well to make us all look more sexy.

We live in a very body conscious society, and you're going to step on ... more
This post is about both sexual beauty and "beauty" in general.

I never thought that I was sexy or desirable in any way until recently.

I remember one of my teachers calling me a "very slender oriental girl". I'm not really that skinny--I just have a solid build and fast metabolism thanks to genetics. I know from looking at my mom and aunts that around 40 my metabolism will permanently move to the Bahamas without me. I'll get adorably pudgy and start shaping up for the "cutest Asian grandmother" award. I'll never have very large breasts. I'm a 36A and even my mother, after bearing two children, has never gone beyond a barely-B. I remember that after my best friend, I was the first to get breasts in 3rd grade, but they never got much bigger after that.

I have what is called a "monolid"--I have no eyelid crease. When I was sixteen, my parents took me to a cosmetic surgeon to have my face evaluated for a procedure that would scar my eyelid in such a way that it would form a crease, opening up my eyes more and turning my eyelashes outward to attain that particular standard of beauty. He crossed his legs and looked at my face with such scrutiny that I was afraid that my entire face would burn off in its apparent lack of appeal. A few minutes later, he announced that I would need to get a nose job first, and then he would have to make slits in the inner corners of my eyes, then finally he would do the eyelid creases.

I stormed out of there.

Things got better, gradually. I stopped caring about what other people thought about me and whether they thought I was attractive. It was different from feeling sexy, but I wouldn't let my lack of sexual appeal get me down. Then I met my current boyfriend. I was his first non-white girlfriend, but he never treated me like a foreigner or a minority. Instead he constantly told me how attractive he found me and how he couldn't believe that someone like him had a hot Asian girlfriend (well... ok, I took the "Asian" part in stride).

Like me, my boyfriend isn't the stereotypical "hot white male". He's got a bit of a tummee on him and often makes fun of himself for being so (literally) white. He's a fuzzy dude and he gets back pains from working at a tiny desk all day, but I find him incredibly sexy. If you'd told me two years ago that I'd be happily involved with a tall, pall, slightly pear-shaped man ten years my senior, I would've cocked an eyebrow and said "Huh, really?" But there's nothing on him that I would change unless he wanted to change it as well. He worries more about his weight than I do. He worries about crushing me when we're having sex. He doesn't like how he completely engulfs my body when we cuddle. But, just as he finds my flat-chested, dynamically-lacking body attractive and sexy, I find his body wonderfully appealing. It just fits.

And the sex we have is pretty fucking awesome.
02/26/2009
Contributor: Cinnamon Chambers Cinnamon Chambers
Hmm. I have had both with my husband. He is 6'5 and was about 280lbs at one time. At that time he did not look "fat" but was much bigger. He wore a size 38 waist pants. He enlisted in the military. Over 13 weeks he lost 100lbs. It was literally like the biggest looser. However, for me having him that small was damn near devastating. Size 32 pants were too loose on him and his hip bones were sticking out. I still loved him, but if he had been that bony when we met I do not if I would have been as attracted to him. I hate to say that because I love him with all my heart but it is true. I felt like if I played with him he would break. I cried and cried so hard because he was a different person than he was before he left to go to training. Since then he has regulated some, and I have adjusted. Now he is about 30 lbs heavier at 210 and put on a lot of muscle. It does suck, but I can see where as hard as we try physical attraction can be somewhat dependent on appearance, no mater what the circumstances are.
02/26/2009
Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
When I rate a Bollywood actor's performance, I rate it mainly on two things: their acting ability and their charisma. If applicable to the role, I add in their physical attrativeness. I honestly think the same thing applies to beauty: it's a mixture of ability, chemistry, and attractiveness.
02/27/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
^ I think there's something to that. Attractiveness is more than just physical shape and size: a strong emotional bond can make you more attracted to someone who might not be your perfect guy/gal and the opposite is also true.

I, myself, am not attracted to muscular men. I like them a little feminine and don't mind a little squishy. When I first met my husband he was about 5'10" and 115 pounds - stick thin. He has since put on 40 - 50 pounds and is much sexier!
02/27/2009
Contributor: Mamastoys Mamastoys
When my hubby and I married, we were both an average size. Well, over the years, we both gained and lost, usually together. Then several years ago, he really gained a lot. I didn't love him any less but he was less sexy to me. He also lost interest in anything and became short of breath when we did have sex so it got to the point, I was afraid he was going to have a heart attack. We soon found out that he had three severe heart blockages and had triple bypass surgery. They told him if they had not found it when they did, he would be done within six months. That was about 14 months ago. Since then, he has lost 100 pounds, works out on a daily basis, and has more energy than I do. Now, we have a better sex life that we ever had before. Whether it is the physical appearance or the fact we are taking advantage of every day we have together, I don't know but it is wonderful!

I too like my guy to have something on his bones- something to hold on to! But, although physical attraction is the first step, there has to be something more there to make a relationship last. It is the inner person that counts.
02/27/2009
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
In previous years, I only liked tall, thin men, almost how I've witnessed some guys liking only "model" bodied women. Lots of muscle didn't appeal to me, but a guy could be toned and be okay. I dated a 6'5" guy who was probably 165 pounds, and he was incredibly hot to me. I went through a lot of crushes on pretty slender guys, and pretty tall guys, but the guy I ended up with is 6' and neither skinny nor fat. He's muscular, much moreso than any previous lover I've had, and now I really like that, but it's more because it's him than because it's muscle.

I also like men who are on the feminine side. I think it's because I feel like that complements the more aggressive/dominant part of me (I don't know whether to call it male or not, still trying to figure that one out).
04/16/2009
Contributor: PurpleReign PurpleReign
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
When I rate a Bollywood actor's performance, I rate it mainly on two things: their acting ability and their charisma. If applicable to the role, I add in their physical attrativeness. I honestly think the same thing applies to beauty: it's a ... more
"it's a mixture of ability, chemistry, and attractiveness. .."

I'd say bingo.

As for my wife and I...four kids and over 20 years on, I'd say the ebb and flow of things means it's more like having a number of lovers over the year...from skinny with pert breasts, to pregnant (repeat 4X) and now more mature, and full and rounded. Looked at that way (which I heartily do), I find I'm incredibly lucky! And only one set of in-laws to meet...
04/16/2009
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
When I rate a Bollywood actor's performance, I rate it mainly on two things: their acting ability and their charisma. If applicable to the role, I add in their physical attrativeness. I honestly think the same thing applies to beauty: it's a ... more
Yes definitely.

My partner who I love dearly and have been with for 6+ years may not be the most attractive woman that I've ever met...but her personality, the way we mix together, etc. means so much more for me.

Even people I'm fleetingly attracted to or crushes tend to have at least somewhat of a mix of these things, I rarely find myself just basing attraction on physical beauty.
04/16/2009
Contributor: Cocoa88 Cocoa88
I have never had a "beauty" bias. I have dated short, tall, skinny, fat....and everything in between. What they all had in common was their personality. They were all bubbly loud and party people. But I ended up marrying the complete opposite personality of me...He is quite and completely into me and only me....I love it!
When we first met I dragged him everywhere introduced him to all my friends but he only wanted to spend time with me....And that hasn't much changed...I am having our second baby and I have never been skinnier then him...he is the same height as me I'm 5'10 he is 5'11. He weighs 140 and with no baby I am 150 at my skinniest.
I never thought I would love someone so much who was totally different from me in every way but I did and thank god! lol. His personality keeps me wanting more of him every day and so does the sex hehe.....
04/17/2009
Contributor: Oggins Oggins
Quote:
Originally posted by PurpleReign
"it's a mixture of ability, chemistry, and attractiveness. .."

I'd say bingo.

As for my wife and I...four kids and over 20 years on, I'd say the ebb and flow of things means it's more like having a number of ... more
Very well stated and I totally agree. It's funny that I never looked at it that way before. I guess it's mostly because my husband has pretty much stayed the same over the years and I'm the one who's been pregnant along with the weight fluctuations. Thanks for giving me my giggle for the day though! =)
04/17/2009
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
My partner and I have been together for 4+ years and when we first met (in a bar-so cliché) his guy friends and him were checking me out. I thought it was so weird to have people check me out bcs I never imagined someone would even care to look at me. I have a very high metabolism and I am not chubby but rather well fleshed lets say. Weight is not an issue with me...it's acne! I am so grateful that my partner tells me everyday how beautiful I am as I wake up in the morning with a fresh pimple growing on my chin. He makes me feel sexy no matter what I look like so even if I feel shitty because of my skin it doesn't really stop me from having great sex bcs I know I am beautiful to my partner.
04/18/2009
Contributor: Dragon Dragon
I'm so glad that I started this...

@NaughtyStudent. I too had acne. Badly. I realized recently that I never actually thought that it ever went away, and still take good care of my skin because of it. Even though it mostly has. Now I deal with my children having it. See your doctor- there are some medicines out there that will make a huge difference now.

I met my husband when I was 17, and I turn 40 next month. I love him more than the world, but he does have a limited view of beauty. I don't have the same figure that I had when I was 17. Even then though, I didn't feel that I met his standards perfectly and I've always fought to look better. It's always been a strange mix of hearing him tell me how great I look and feeling as if I don't look good enough.

Yet, now... I'm more comfortable in my own sexuality and that of what it can be in others than I could have ever imagined.
04/18/2009
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
I first met my husband when I was 15, and started dating him when I was 17 (long story there). He was a bit heavy then, and I was a bit. Next came college, where I gained a lot, and he went off to the army and dropped 40 pounds. Two kids later (and we're both 41 this year), and I've dropped about 20 pounds since we've been married, and he's gained a lot. But it doesn't change how I feel about him at all. He's always been complimentary towards how I look and has always made me feel sexy. Although I'm finding that as I'm losing weight, I'm feeling much sexier.
04/18/2009
Contributor: chinnaman1 chinnaman1
hey lets not forget the big oneSENCE OF HUMOR
05/08/2009