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Contributor: aussie's gal aussie's gal
I have decided to make some changes in my life and my sex life is one of those. I am married and my husband shows no interest in sex (for the past 3 years, very rarely before that), and so I am interested in getting a product/toy but have no idea where to start or what to start with. Hopefully someone can relate to this fear of the unknown. I was raised where we didn't talk about anything and so even being or admitting to be even remotely sexual was deemed improper, so I have never really experimented with toys, etc. Can someone please give me some advice on what products are great for "starters"?
01/12/2010
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Contributor: J's Alley J's Alley
Quote:
Originally posted by aussie's gal
I have decided to make some changes in my life and my sex life is one of those. I am married and my husband shows no interest in sex (for the past 3 years, very rarely before that), and so I am interested in getting a product/toy but have no idea ... more
Ahh! This is a difficult question. Wow. Here's what I suggest...

I would go here and pick the type of vibe that most appeals to you. You can then go to the left side bar and filter. You can pick the diameter, the material, and even color. This way you narrow your choices some. You can even just go by price and set a price limit in the filter area.

Once you've done that you can read the reviews and decide for yourself which one you like the most.
01/12/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by aussie's gal
I have decided to make some changes in my life and my sex life is one of those. I am married and my husband shows no interest in sex (for the past 3 years, very rarely before that), and so I am interested in getting a product/toy but have no idea ... more
Toys are a nice diversion. Once you take the edge off your sexual needs maybe you can relax enough to work on communication to turn things around - hopefully that's possible.

Starting with a simple clit vibe is usually step one. After that it's pretty hard to go wrong with a 'rabbit style' vibe for both internal external stimulation - stay with quality materials and brands.

I also suggest that you pay special attention to the reviews for the products your considering - does what they are describing seem to fit your idea of fun? Look at the reviewer's profiles to see if they have a similar outlook as you. When you find some you like - check out all of their reviews.

There are some really great people at EF - I'm sure you'll get lots of good advice.
01/13/2010
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
I agree with J's Alley, the first place to start is to go "window shopping." It's difficult to recommend one particular item because so much about what makes a good toy depends on your preferences.

Some tips:

1. Browse the website and look around for what type of toy appeals to you. Toys range from super realistic to non-descript, modern shapes to toys shaped like other items entirely (think rubber ducky and fake lipstick tube). Some of us love the realistic penis toys and others hate them. There is absolutely something here for everyone.

2. Figure out what your price range is. You can spend $5 or $300 here and everything in between. There are very decent toys in every price range.

3. Look for toys with multiple settings. Keep an eye out for reviews mentioning a wide range among those settings. When you don't know much about your taste in toys, it helps to have a toy with a well defined low, medium and high setting so you can try them all out.

4. Pay attention to descriptions reviewers write about materials and texture. Each type of material has advantages and disadvantages that only you can decide will be good or bad for you, but knowing what to expect when your toy arrives will help make sure you like what you get.

I will disagree with Gunsmoke on one thing: rabbit-style vibrators. Often these toys will vary in how well they fit your anatomy. One toy will work for you, but not the woman standing next to you and the next rabbit will work for her but not you. Don't get me wrong, rabbit vibes that fit your body are AMAZING. But many are really pricey so it pays to figure out what might fit you before you purchase one.

Hope this helps you find a great toy. Toys are a great way to improve your personal sexual experience, but also a wonderful way to regenerate excitement in a couple who has grown apart, so consider including your husband in your search.

Good luck!
01/13/2010