The New Intimacy

Virgin & Toys

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Contributor: newbiefirsttimer247 newbiefirsttimer247
Ok..Here is the story.
I am an almost 40 year old virgin. I haven’t really had any relationships with men, and I have a feeling it stems from being molested when I was a pre-pubescent and some supreme body issues.

A few years ago I bought the first of my toys from this site (a patchy Paul, a ripple large, tantus slim), and I did use these for a little while with no success. I did end up throwing some of these away, but I kept the Patchy Paul (it cost too much to throw away). I have recently begun the process of “taking matters into my own hands,” again. I started using the Patchy Paul again, and recently bought the VAMP. Which to be honest was WAY bigger than I thought it would be. I have only tried it once so far, and although I was able to insert it (lots of astroglide), it did have some blood on the tip (IS THIS NORMAL?)
I am really trying to get over my issues with my body, sex, and men. But I am finding it really hard. Masturbation is something I never really understood, and feel like I am not doing it “right.” I don’t even know why I writing about this now. Are there any toys out there that you recommend? Techniques? Web-Sites (although I have to say that curiosity got the best of me and I went to youporn)?
08/18/2013
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Contributor: peppermintgal peppermintgal
When I started to masturbate ages ago I just used my fingers and learned what my body liked. I also read erotica to get in the mood. Just relax and have fun. After that I started to use toys.
08/18/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
If you still have an intact hymen (which at this point is unlikely) then there could be tearing which results in bleeding; it's also possible to create minute tears in the walls of the vagina if the muscles aren't completely relaxed.

Here is my advice for another user with a similar problem.
08/19/2013
Contributor: Dulcinea Dulcinea
Quote:
Originally posted by peppermintgal
When I started to masturbate ages ago I just used my fingers and learned what my body liked. I also read erotica to get in the mood. Just relax and have fun. After that I started to use toys.
I second that advice! Also, if you insert your fingers and gently press down to "stretch" the vagina, once a day or so while masturbating, that will help. Also, you can try this:

link

Basically, start thin--a finger or two--and gradually work your way up. I'd recommend

link

or

link

or both...then gradually work your way up. Slow and steady. Don't rush it. You're body will adapt. And if you continue to bleed, then it might be because you're either not lubricated enough or because of hymen, or what remains of your hymen, irritation.
08/19/2013
Contributor: Sincerely yours, N Sincerely yours, N
I think my biggest suggestion to you would be to try clitoral vibes. I had a lot of problems with penetration for a long time because of my own bad experiences, but clitoral stimulation always felt kind of nice. Try buying a clitoral vibrator and seeing if it helps - it might be a great stepping stone into penetration!
08/19/2013
Contributor: newbiefirsttimer247 newbiefirsttimer247
Thanks everyone for the advice.
08/20/2013
Contributor: cagypsy cagypsy
I recommend make sure your really in the mood first. Have a cocktail or a glass of wine, read some erotica, then for the next few times just use your fingers or go buy a small clit bullet or something. Then once your relaxed and used to doing that use mr Paul or something else.
09/25/2013