What does an orgasm feel like for you?

Hi, it's me again.

First off, please don't give up. I know the situation seems dire and that it doesn't look good given how long you've been trying, but If I had given up between 2005 and the end of 2018 (freakin' over 13 years of complete anorgasmia), I wouldn't know what orgasm is today. I'm currently stuck with what people call situational anorgasmia. Second, don't believe (everything) you see in porn. Remember, it's usually catered to the male gaze, not towards what's pleasant for women. Third, accept that it's difficult for us, and give yourself that much more breathing room.

Everyone experiences orgasm differently, from what my research has told me. I used to read tons about it before I figured out what it felt like in my skin.

For me, right before orgasm starts, this slightly warm feeling that courses very quickly from my abdomen towards my extremities; I can usually feel it all the way to my fingertips. It lasts maybe a second or two, and it tells me that I'm sitting to the brink of no return. At this point, if I stop, slow down, or change the speed/pattern I'm using, I won't climax. If I do this repeatedly, I believe that this is something people call 'edging', like... if it's done over and over consistently. It's a pleasant, melty feeling, but it doesn't bring sexual satisfaction. I'd compare this 'melty feeling' to a yawn that doesn't fully satisfy.

Anyway, so this melty feeling is kinda also like pleasant goosebumps, but without the goosebumps appearing on the skin. Like imagine the ones you can get from someone lightly scratching your skin/back/neck/whateve r with their nails *just right*. If I let out a breath my brain likes to think that it's a much warmer breath than usual for some reason. It usually also takes me about an hour of nonstop masturbation to get to this melty-feeling point. Sometimes longer (I've gone at it for 3-4 hours nonstop with no avail on multiple occasions, hence, situational anorgasmia. By then I'm exhausted, sore, and cranky.).

If I continue on from that melty feeling, after a few moments (literally like maybe 3-5 seconds), orgasm basically starts. Technically speaking, the pelvic floor muscles contract in unison repeatedly, and those contractions are extremely pleasant. They're so pleasant that they completely override the excruciating, debilitating pain I have from period cramps 100% of the time, with a 100% success rate. The contractions come in waves, usually 1-2 per second, and I can feel them throughout my midsection. Sometimes those waves even reach my thighs.

Depending on what I'm doing, an orgasm for me can last anywhere from ~10 seconds to maybe like 30-40 seconds sometimes, but my mind gets so muddled with what I'm feeling that my sense of time might be distorted lol. So uh, take the latter time estimate with a grain of salt, if anything. Anyways. Some women are multi-orgasmic. I've gotten 2, 3 orgasms in one session a few times, but those sessions last like 3-5 hours lol. I'd rather not burn myself out. I've never gotten multiple orgasms in quick succession, sadly.

After it's over, there's a brief period where I feel like I'm radiating that melty feeling again. People tend to call this the post-sex glow, I think? But I just use this time to cool off and bask in the glory of what I have just done. I savor it. After going at it for a very long time, my arms are exhausted, my abdomen's tired, I'm out of breath... So yeah, I cool off.

Anyways. I'd suggest you research syntribation. It's not very well known, but it exists. With years of practice, this gave me what I now call 'mini-orgasms' before I discovered actual orgasm. I'd say it's like 10% of the strength of an actual orgasm. It might help you get on the right path. It's a rhythmic thigh clenching technique that indirectly stimulates the clit and its legs. You can also clench your pelvic floor muscles. Maybe look into buying some ben-wa balls to train your pelvic floor if you haven't yet. In either case... Some women syntribate while sitting down. Others do it standing up. I did it while kneeling on the floor with my upper half leaning against the bed for support. I ended up squeezing my thighs together so hard that my legs would be sore the next day or two (like from a really intense leg day workout, you know?).

So yeah. That's my POV. Maybe some of this will help you steer yourself in the right direction. less