What was the most awkward or funny thing that has happened to you during sex?

What was the most awkward or funny thing that has happened to you during sex?

moonch1ld moonch1ld
Share your funny/embarrassing sex stories.
12/27/2010
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moonch1ld moonch1ld
Several times my gf has hit her head on the wall during sex and once during a particular rough wrestling mach during foreplay are heads collided so hard she cried — kinda a mood kill but we laughed it off and got back into it after a little while.
12/27/2010
Yoda Yoda
While dating, my wife and I slipped the air mattress that she was using a bed. I was a very high one too, so when it flipped, it scattered us and all everything else in the room into a heap.
12/27/2010
PussyGalore PussyGalore
I've literally been thrown over someone's head and into a wall. I've cracked my forehead open on the bedside table. Have numerous scars from rubbing skin raw on car doors... ummmmm nothing that was very funny though. Mostly just painful.
12/27/2010
toxie m toxie m
In the first week or so of dating my boyfriend he accidentally smashed my face into the headboard of his bed really hard while we were wrestling. It was right on my temple, and it swelled up instantly like a beachball face, oh man. Blood and the whole deal. I was crying and he felt like the worst person ever, and I spent the rest of the night holding a package of frozen blueberries to my eye.

The swelling eventually went down but for the next 2 weeks it turned allllll kinds of colours, to the amusement of our friends who got to make domestic abuse jokes. At one point the bruising was centralized above my eye like incredibly dramatic eyeshadow so I just matched it with actual eyeshadow on the other eye and no one could tell the difference! Awesome. Hilarious to get compliments on my makeup when I have absolutely none on one half of my face
12/27/2010
firekitten firekitten
I have sat on the steering wheel causing the horn to beep. Also have fallen off beds, couches, etc. Once while having sex with my ex, he is particularly fond of the position with my legs in the air, and hips elevated, and I farted on him. Hilarious. I ran to the bathroom and laughed so hard I cried.
12/27/2010
SexyySarah SexyySarah
Well, my hubby and I were getting it on and all of a sudden my hubby let's out the biggest fart! It was so funny, but we just kept on doing what we were doing! lol We still talk about it today!
12/27/2010
UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
A few weeks into dating my now husband, after a particularly drunken night, I called him by my most recent ex-boyfriend's name while we were having sex. He kind of just shrugged it off because he probably didn't want to stop. But that wasn;t the end of it. After we were done, I actually started having a full on conversation as if he were my ex. That was rather awkward the next morning. Years later my husband said if the sex hadn't been as hot as it was, that probably would have been a deal breaker since it was so early on in our relationship.

I still feel like an asshole all these years later when I think about it.
12/27/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
A few months ago, right in the middle of things, My Man decides to try something new (I don't know what he was doing, really) and somehow ended up trying to maybe stand on the bed (we have a water bed, you can't stand on them, he knows this) and he fell off of the bed, and onto my nightstand, scattering bottles of lube, jewelry, pens, papers and other things all over the place. At first I was kind of irritated (I was very close to orgasming) but then he started to laugh and said, "I fell off the bed, what a dork I am." and then I started laughing.....and well, I imagine you had to be there.


Only, you wouldn't have been.
12/28/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
I've elbowed him in the balls or the soft part of his belly, a number of times. Sometimes, during a blow job, I just don't realize where my arms are. A grunt and a rather forceful moving of my arm usually reminds me. I always feel bad.

He ends up kneeling on my hair all the time. Either that or his hand ends up pinning my hair accidentally to the bed. I have nothing against being pinned, unless it's by accident. I sometimes put my hair into a bun before we have sex. But, he likes it flopping around, so I don't all the time.

But, sometimes he likes the bun, "OOOOO, a handle!"
12/28/2010
Fannybutts Fannybutts
Quote:
Originally posted by firekitten
I have sat on the steering wheel causing the horn to beep. Also have fallen off beds, couches, etc. Once while having sex with my ex, he is particularly fond of the position with my legs in the air, and hips elevated, and I farted on him. Hilarious. ...
I've had the horn thing happen a couple times recently. He wanted me to lean back for... some reason I can't remember and the horn kept going off. Startled the hell out of me.
12/28/2010
Lady Neshamah Lady Neshamah
oh my gods.... one night when my hubby and i where having sex, the bed broke. litterally broke. half of the bed fell off. we have a 150 year old bed and some of the wood just went that night.

it startled us, but it was really funny and awkward for us. we couldn't even finish that night.
12/29/2010
hornypoet69 hornypoet69
My first time with a guy, was in his car, on the roof of a parking garage. Fortunately fate smiled on us, and we were able to finish. But while we were sitting there naked, a cop car rolled up on us. We had to scramble for clothes, and explain ourselves to the cop. He was super cool about it, told us to keep it G-rated and went on his way. But the best part is that he did a field interview, which goes into police records. Which means the cops now know I'm gay. I thought the whole situation was hilarious (though I managed to keep it together, while chatting with the cop.
12/29/2010
Tuesday Tuesday
Once I leapt onto the bed with such enthusiasm that I overshot and landed on car keys on the floor on other side, unlocking the car in the process with an audible beep.

OK, this happened to a friend of mine, not me, but its still funny.
12/29/2010
Dillicious Dillicious
One time be and my now husband decided to give each other massages.

This was one of our earlier moments so things were still in that super hott new relationship stage.

We were using heating massage oils on one another while nude and eventually we got turned on and decided to have sex. unbeknownst to me and him, some of the warming oil (not intended for internal use) had gotten on his penis, we had spontaneous unprotected sex and during it we both felt a warming feeling on our privates, we enjoyed it and kept going... as we continued the warming turnes into intense burning! We both hopped off the bed and ran into the bathroom. We tried washing it off but it had done its damage. Needless to say we spent the next day not leaving the house because we were both walking funny and it hurt to pee!
12/29/2010
watchitgrowwow watchitgrowwow
Many years ago while having sex with my first wife her mother (who has a fabulous body by the way) walked in on us. About 8 years later we divorced and I ended up doing her mom for the next few years. My ex never found out. I mentioned to her mom what a fantasy it would be to do them both at the same time.
12/30/2010
Beaners Beaners
My boyfriend accidentally "slipped" the other night and I was TOTALLY not expecting it, and he didn't know he had done it. It hurt a LOT because I was tense and I ended up crying. At the same time, though, it was hilarious. I was sitting on the bed laughing and crying, and he was just standing there looking panicked asking what happened.
01/07/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Lady Neshamah
oh my gods.... one night when my hubby and i where having sex, the bed broke. litterally broke. half of the bed fell off. we have a 150 year old bed and some of the wood just went that night.

it startled us, but it was really funny and ...
Funny. It reminds me of the time we were at my husband's parent's house. The guest room is directly across the hall from their room. Everyone had just gone to bed, everything was quiet. We decide to have a bit of fun. We are going at it slow and easy. I was just about to climax and I heard this loud BOOM and then the mattress fell to the floor on one side. Everyone was awake, then. My husband and I still laugh about that every time we go back and have to sleep in there. Since that time, they finally replaced that bed. The new one holds up like a champ!

I always wondered if they knew what we were doing in there. His mother would probably die knowing all the places we've had sex. Especially, the time we had sex in the front seat of her car in her church parking lot. BTW, it is a VERY small town, too.
01/07/2011
Vaccinium Vaccinium
We've experienced the collapsing bed phenomenon, but the worst was back in my dating days when I was close to having an orgasm with my girlfriend and her greyhound decided to stick her cold, wet nose on my taint. Suffice it to say, it broke the mood.

Damned dog.
01/10/2011
Naughty Student Naughty Student
One time in cowgirl, I had air inside my vagina so I let my guys cock slip out a bit, but not enough before pushing the air out, which caused a loud wet queef on the head of his cock, we were laughing so hard he lost his erection and we stopped and continued later on.
01/10/2011
liilii080 liilii080
My guy went down on me and I was so relaxed I farted in his face... I apologized but told him it was a compliment to his skill. I finally managed to live that one down.
01/10/2011
IrishLassie IrishLassie
most awkward funny thing? Hmm....how definitely have to be the our cats on two seperate occasions clawing the hubs' balls admist sex. The 1st time I thought he was finishing because he was kinda yelling. From that point on....no animals in the bedroom
01/10/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
I think it would have to be the time my husband and I were going at it and my sister tried to come into the room and just stood outside the door yelling towards us about why the door was locked. We didn't end up getting back into it that night because we were laughing too hard, lol
01/11/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
I was in the middle of a threesome with a woman and her husband (she was pounding me with a strap on and I was blowing him) and we were really going at it. I'm talking nasty sex. We were going at it so hard that we didn't hear the glass door open or her son (who was supposed to be away for the night) walk in. The only thing that alerted us to him being there was the cry of "OHMYGODWHATAREYOUDOIN GMOM? OHMYGOD."

Yeah, we got caught by a 17 year old. I've officially scarred a child with my leaky self and full mouth. It was so awkward, but we never discussed it past that night and I think her son finally got over it. After all, that was four years ago.
01/11/2011
Paradox Paradox
a few nights ago me and my parter were right near the peak of our orgasims when she got a cramp in her leg. she screamed in pain (i thought i was doing something right) after she told me what had happend we both burst out laughing...
hang on i just relized i didnt end up cumming that night. FML!
01/13/2011
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Paradox
a few nights ago me and my parter were right near the peak of our orgasims when she got a cramp in her leg. she screamed in pain (i thought i was doing something right) after she told me what had happend we both burst out laughing...
hang on i ...
LMAO! lol at Miki!
01/13/2011
LittleMissBliss LittleMissBliss
I have had an experience with my fiance when I was on top of him and we had an intimate moment of nearly simultaneous orgasm. Shortly after, I sneezed on his face and as you know sometimes a sneeze can force stuff out. Made a big mess. Hhehe. Ruined a nice moment, but it was funny after it was all said and done.
01/17/2011
KnK KnK
Does foreplay/oral count?

I had to pause in the middle of a blowjob and yell through my dorm door that I was busy to a persistent friend who had been trying to get in contact with me all day so I could mediate an argument between friends. I didn't want to be involved and I was rather annoyed. Looking back now, it's actually kinda funny
01/17/2011
darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
It seems like almost every time we have sex, as soon as my hand is on his penis, the cat is meowing loudly at my bedroom door to be let in. It's like he knows what's going on.
01/18/2011
toxie m toxie m
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I was in the middle of a threesome with a woman and her husband (she was pounding me with a strap on and I was blowing him) and we were really going at it. I'm talking nasty sex. We were going at it so hard that we didn't hear the glass ...
Ohhh no! That is the most awkward ever, haha poor guy! I would have absolutely died if I had walked in on my parents doing something like that when I was 17
01/18/2011
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