What was the most awkward or funny thing that has happened to you during sex?

The New Intimacy

What was the most awkward or funny thing that has happened to you during sex?

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Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Beaners
My boyfriend accidentally "slipped" the other night and I was TOTALLY not expecting it, and he didn't know he had done it. It hurt a LOT because I was tense and I ended up crying. At the same time, though, it was hilarious. I was ... more
OOOOO, "Surprise Butt Sex." I like butt sex, but not "surprise" butt sex.
01/18/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
When I was in my teens, and My Man was temporarily living with his parents, we were having sex in his car one night. We were finished, but sitting in the back seat, undressed, just hanging around.

More than one cop car pulled up, Mars lights flashing and sirens blaring. They went around to the door and pulled My Man out, and one of the cops said, "It looks like the car. It this the guy?" My Man has an absolute look of terror on his face, as he had done nothing (well, other than just fuck a teen age girl) they threw him on the hood of the car and started to frisk him and one told me to get out of the car (I didn't have pants on) and then one of the cops said, "It's the wrong guy. It isn't even the right car."

One cop stuck his head in the back window and said he was sorry, one said "Carry on."

and one said, "Really fella, behave yourself, how old is she?" They left. We were left traumatized.

We have no idea who they were looking for or what the "guy" did. It was very scary at the time. But, really really funny in retrospect.
01/18/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
When I was in my teens, and My Man was temporarily living with his parents, we were having sex in his car one night. We were finished, but sitting in the back seat, undressed, just hanging around.

More than one cop car pulled up, Mars lights ... more
P'Gell! Oh my God! LMAO! That is hilarious! I bet the two of where where scared shitless! Gotta love a story that you can laugh at years later. Nice one. Makes you wonder if the cops knew exactly what was going on and decided to teach you a lesson so to speak. It was the wrong car after all, and no one realized it before they were dragging him out? Very funny.
01/18/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by toxie m
Ohhh no! That is the most awkward ever, haha poor guy! I would have absolutely died if I had walked in on my parents doing something like that when I was 17
Me too! How horrifying! LMAO.
01/18/2011
Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
Quote:
Originally posted by Beaners
My boyfriend accidentally "slipped" the other night and I was TOTALLY not expecting it, and he didn't know he had done it. It hurt a LOT because I was tense and I ended up crying. At the same time, though, it was hilarious. I was ... more
I accidentally did this to a now ex-girlfriend of mine. Suffice it to say, she found it a lot less funny than you did.
01/18/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
P'Gell! Oh my God! LMAO! That is hilarious! I bet the two of where where scared shitless! Gotta love a story that you can laugh at years later. Nice one. Makes you wonder if the cops knew exactly what was going on and decided to teach you ... more
It was years ago, before cops had computers in their Squads. I am guessing they had to get the license number over the radio or something and realized it wasn't "the guy" they were looking for then. Plus, it was dark and evidently My Man didn't look like whoever they were looking for.

We would find out of the way place to park and fuck, so it was dark. So, decades later, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Plus, aside from a comment, nobody arrested him for leading a minor astray.
01/18/2011
Contributor: ss143 ss143
Me and bf were going at it really going at it in the missionary position and as I was coming he starts crying and grasping for air. When the orgasm was over all I could hear was omg a cramp a cramp I asked him what was wrong and apparently he got a muscle spasm in his thigh so bad and he wanted me to finish coming so he kept going fighting thru the pain and it made him cry. I felt so bad and he hurt so much he had to lay down. I kissed his bo bos and other places after that
05/29/2011
Contributor: CharlieBrown CharlieBrown
One time my wife and I were doing some 69 and she was on top. Her vagina and butt were right in my face and I had the perfect view. A few seconds later she moved a bit and she ended up farting in my face!!she was a bit embarassed but I thought it was kind of cute, especially since it was very unexpected.
06/16/2011
Contributor: newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by CharlieBrown
One time my wife and I were doing some 69 and she was on top. Her vagina and butt were right in my face and I had the perfect view. A few seconds later she moved a bit and she ended up farting in my face!!she was a bit embarassed but I thought it was ... more
Same thing happened but the opposite way many years ago to me and a girl I was dating. We were in 69 and I had eaten a very good Philly Cheesesteak. Suddenly, I farted right in the poor girl's face. Fortunately she had a good sense of humor, we laughed and just decided to have intercourse.
06/16/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
Quote:
Originally posted by moonch1ld
Share your funny/embarrassing sex stories.
About 50 (a big crowd, anyway) 14-years-olds broke the lock and forced the door open. Very traumatic.
06/20/2011
Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
On one of the first up-to-third-base makeout sessions, a security guard drove sloooooowly by the car and gave my ex and I the look right when my ex was lowering his head... we ended up going to the parking lot across the street instead. On my first time giving a blowjob, I was terrified of swallowing, facials, anything (and my guy and I hadn't discussed it before...) and I ended up letting cum squirt all over the seat/car door. It took a good 10 minutes to clean up, during which I tried a bit of it and realized that it didn't taste that bad (after that I swallowed to eliminate mess )

Edit: oh, and the ex and I we were fooling around in a hotel room while on vacation, and his brother and mom knocked and freaked us out. They just laughed at us and went off to explore the hotel long enough for us to get our clothes back on and high-tail our way out to the beach (dinner later was awkward, though)
06/20/2011
Contributor: TameTemptress TameTemptress
We've had a few funny/akward moments, but what comes to mind is when my husband and I were teens, we were having a bit of fun in his car, parked in a field... suddenly we hear a knock of the car window. I hurry and cover up the best I can (did a poor job of it) while my then-boyfriend now-husband rolls down the window to see what's up. There is an elderly gentleman and all he wants to know is "Hey, have you seen a skunk?"

No. No, we have not. But now you have seen all of us, thank you very much. It was so random and we still laugh about it.

Another time when we were teens, we were home alone in his house and taking advantage of that fact, when his mother walks in the door. He jumps up, completely naked, leaving me in full view on his bed...runs over to the thermostat on his wall and as his mother looks at him with her eyebrow raised all he has to say is "I was just checking the temperature!" Really??? That's the best he could come up with??? Haha!
06/20/2011
Contributor: bdvnt bdvnt
Well, they say that confession is good for the soul...

Last night we started to get frisky in the den. We've both been busy and haven't been able to spend much time together, so we were a little less patient than we should have been. I'm sure this contributed to the problem. Let me set the scene: lights off, music playing, excited to finally have a little time together.

Our couch is a double recliner. We had it extended to give us more room. It didn't take long before we were getting into it. Anyway, we shifted positions so that we were in line with the couch (facing the armrests) instead of lying on the recliners. We shifted again to start doing it doggie style. Things are going great. We are both lost in the moment. I must have shifted my weight or something.

Suddenly, the leg extension on my side of the couch retracts. Not slowly, as if I were just sitting up. No, this thing collapses like a trap door, throwing me off the couch and into the coffee table. Bam, bam, I crash against the table on my way to the floor. Now that my weight is off the couch, the leg rest pops back up into position, knocking me back into the coffee table again. Everything that was on the table is now on the floor, myself included. The lights are out, so she doesn't know exactly what has happened. I was there, then I was gone. I'm disoriented from the sudden movement and loss of altitude. I threw out my back from the reflexive jerk of trying to catch myself and grabbing nothing but air. I also have some odd bruise patterns from hitting the table at an odd angle... twice.

For the record, we were not deterred. Once she stopped laughing, we moved to the bedroom for "safe sex."
12/12/2011