The New Intimacy

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Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
My boyfriend and I don't get too see each other much outside work...a few hours a week if I'm lucky. I am sick all the time with ibs I get to see the toilet,my computer then the people I work with at work(including my boyfriend)

Anyway...We have been dating about 4 years and sex is good and nice but I want to get a new level like a super level don't know how to explain it lol.

Do I just need to get myself feeling healthy and feeling good about myself then read alot of informative books and then sexy story ones? Is that how I train myself and get my boyfriend to be better and have more ideas? Is it as simple as that or am I missing something? I'm not saying I'm not satisfied or happy with my boyfriend but I'm sure there's alot more to look forward to than having the same sex. I even think its because I"m so sick all the time and then I have a really hard time relaxing I have to get a back massage and lots of foreplay because I'm not feeling well. We have only been with each other too.

oh ya how about watching a bunch of porn and keeping like a bedroom diary like take notes from the books I"m reading and write down ideas I get from them and maybe some other stuff not sure what tho
12/29/2010
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Contributor: firekitten firekitten
Those are all good ideas. I would start with trying to feel better physically and about yourself. No matter how excited you are about trying out a new technique, if you feel like crap you won't enjoy it.
12/29/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
My boyfriend and I don't get too see each other much outside work...a few hours a week if I'm lucky. I am sick all the time with ibs I get to see the toilet,my computer then the people I work with at work(including my ... more
Honestly I think that you might be thinking about it a bit too much. It sounds like the ideas you have are all a lot of work, and I don't know about you but I don't want my sex with my husband to feel like work. I do think that getting yourself feeling healthy and good about yourself is a great start..and reading can be good too, but it just seems like reading a LOT of books and then having a bedroom diary might just end up being too much work when really sex is more about emotions and passion rather than a how to manual.
12/29/2010
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
Honestly I think that you might be thinking about it a bit too much. It sounds like the ideas you have are all a lot of work, and I don't know about you but I don't want my sex with my husband to feel like work. I do think that getting ... more
This.

Read because you enjoy it, not because you're trying to turn sex into homework!
12/29/2010
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
Honestly I think that you might be thinking about it a bit too much. It sounds like the ideas you have are all a lot of work, and I don't know about you but I don't want my sex with my husband to feel like work. I do think that getting ... more
when I read something I like alot I want to write it down to remember it. I don't mean just read bunches of them..over time like when I'm bored or its my day off and I want to read. I think work is involved to improve your bedroom life.
12/29/2010
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
This.

Read because you enjoy it, not because you're trying to turn sex into homework!
I'm not trying to turn it into homework I do want to know and learn more maybe it is like homework sometimes?
12/29/2010
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by firekitten
Those are all good ideas. I would start with trying to feel better physically and about yourself. No matter how excited you are about trying out a new technique, if you feel like crap you won't enjoy it.
link

I found alot of answers there and I'm sure the first thing I need to do is declutter my mind and be there emotionally that means getting healthy for me... My ibs has really traped me in life,having alot of stress and worries... feeling sick and even like a prisoner in my own body 24/7,its like a problem I can't leave I can't keep my mind off of it because it's part of me always there and affecting me not like the simplier problems Nina mentions like bills or work. I could set aside thoughts on bills or work but not feeling unwell and sick while I'm trying to relax it doesn't work. In fact if I wasn't sick we could see each other more...I think it's bigger than just being sick. I say I'm going to change my diet or do everything I can becaue it affects every aspect of my life but I just give in and eat what I want and feel sick..HELP can someone tell me why I do this to myself? IS it a lack of self confidence? perhaps I'm afraid I can do everything right all the time and still have these problems? That is possible with ibs because just the act of eating can be upsetting even drinking water because of something called gastro something reflex forgot the name and how your whole digestive system doesn't work how its supposed to anymore. Anyway maybe I'm just an unhappy person or over analyze or just worry too much? Maybe all of that? Maybe all I need is a makeover and few weeks of following my diet to pick things up and grow from there?
12/29/2010