Who initiates sex more. You or your partner. I feel like I do 75% to 25%.

Contributor: Mr.Pitt Mr.Pitt
Who initiates sex to most in your relationship, you or your partner? How do you initiate sex? Do you even go along with them if you aren’t in the mood?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
You
Mr.Pitt , RonLee , Gunsmoke , Soundside46 , ZedDeppelin , Luna Reign , SoloRebel , Trysexual , Perspicace mais érotique , frisky069
10  (67%)
Your partner
Leil@ , QueenofEverything81 , GingerAnn , VanillaFreeSex , madame macbeth
5  (33%)
Total votes: 15
Poll is closed
08/11/2019
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Contributor: RonLee RonLee
My spouse just doesn't have the high sex drive that I do...
08/11/2019
Contributor: Soundside46 Soundside46
I have been the more enthusiastic partner in the past but she is starting to turn the tables on me recently and I like it.
08/12/2019
Contributor: Leil@ Leil@
In most cases, it is my partner. I can't say that he has a higher sex drive than I do, maybe I am too lazy.

I've noticed, it is a very common situation when men are more likely to initiate sex. And I wonder what is the reason? Is it because men are more liberated and brave, and women are more intimidated to be rejected. Or evolution is the one to blame, and men are hornier because they have to live as many offsprings as possible?
08/12/2019
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Leil@
In most cases, it is my partner. I can't say that he has a higher sex drive than I do, maybe I am too lazy.

I've noticed, it is a very common situation when men are more likely to initiate sex. And I wonder what is the reason? Is it ... more
IMO it's more cultural than genetic. For that reason I think things are changing. Younger women appear to be forthright about their wants and desires - to the point of 'demanding' satisfaction.

Like everything change has it's +/- affects. As a young man I'm not sure I could have handled the pressure to perform - but would surely have welcomed the challenge!

I'm lucky because eventually my wife came around to the idea that more sex is better than less. Although I'm still the one that initiates most sexual encounters, I'm much more likely to get a positive response - for me that's huge progress.
08/13/2019
Contributor: Ashes1086 Ashes1086
Even though both myself and my husband are very sexual, I feel like he tends to initiate 65% of the time. If I'm stressed or tired from working it's probably not going to be me.
08/14/2019
Contributor: Leil@ Leil@
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
IMO it's more cultural than genetic. For that reason I think things are changing. Younger women appear to be forthright about their wants and desires - to the point of 'demanding' satisfaction.

Like everything change has it's ... more
Maybe, you're right, and it's more about cultural and social norms. And I agree, women become more proactive, but men are still ones who more often make the 1st move.

I've noticed either that with age I become more eager for different sexual activities.
I'm happy for you that your wife has developed a taste for sex . And I'm happy for your wife that she has so patient, loving and purposeful husband!
08/14/2019
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
I would say in the past it was me, the husband. I would massage her clitoris, squeeze her boobs and sometimes put my tongue to work. Lately she been taking out one of her many eden toys and playing with my penis. After she's primed and hot to trot she'll s_ _ k my ukw. When she deep throats it I know she's really randy.

And every so often she'll ask me if I want to be pegged. Myself, I usually request butt sex when really in the mood.

Having sex often definitely helps our relationship. And doesn't matter what type. If you know what I mean.
08/14/2019
Contributor: ZedDeppelin ZedDeppelin
I think this is a partner to partner situation. There are couples who desire sex equally, but one partner prefers mornings while the other prefers night time sex as an example. In some partnerships, one person has a higher sex derive than the other. But, I don't think it's about gender. Some of it may be they've learned to go without, are afraid to ask, or maybe even suffered sexual trauma. The reasons and combinations are far more varied than the spectrum of genders.

Finding the right sexual partner, finding a partner who is open to change (even if it requires therapy) is the best way to make things equal. We deserve to have our sexual needs met. We know that sex is important enough that if it we are not satisfied, it may not be worth keeping the partnership as it will likely lead to cheating or emotional abandonment. As rough as divorce is, it's better than hurting our partners in such a manner.
08/15/2019
Contributor: QueenofEverything81 QueenofEverything81
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
IMO it's more cultural than genetic. For that reason I think things are changing. Younger women appear to be forthright about their wants and desires - to the point of 'demanding' satisfaction.

Like everything change has it's ... more
As a woman I can honestly say there has long been a stigma that "good girls" don't want sex. As our culture has begun to evolve sexually, women are reclaiming equality in the bedroom and gaining an understanding that their wants and needs are entitled to be satisfied equally with their partners. While I voted that I am not as likely to be the one to initiate sex, it's not from a lack of desire or lack of confidence in doing so, it's more just the dynamic between us.
08/15/2019
Contributor: Leil@ Leil@
Quote:
Originally posted by ZedDeppelin
I think this is a partner to partner situation. There are couples who desire sex equally, but one partner prefers mornings while the other prefers night time sex as an example. In some partnerships, one person has a higher sex derive than the other. ... more
You're right, we can not tar everyone with the same brush. The causes why one person is more proactive than another are endless. I think the behavior model that society imposes on us play a big role. As QueenofEverything81 said, some time ago good girls not supposed to be sexually active. Now media and culture boost liberated and open-minded ways of women's behavior, and here we are becoming more liberated and open-minded
08/16/2019
Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
I'd say it's more 50/50 for us.

And I'm also a firm believer of wanting sex not being the matter of "goodness" or "badness" - it's a superficial and such an outdated concept.
08/19/2019
Contributor: Luna Reign Luna Reign
Quote:
Originally posted by Mr.Pitt
Who initiates sex to most in your relationship, you or your partner? How do you initiate sex? Do you even go along with them if you aren’t in the mood?
I'm blessed with a high drive naturally. Yes naturally, no drugs needed to intesify anything. With that being said I tend to be the one to initiate in most relationships.
Aside from the few times I was really sick or in lots of pain, I will go along with my partner if they initiate it before me.
08/21/2019
Contributor: Perspicace mais érotique Perspicace mais érotique
Quote:
Originally posted by Mr.Pitt
Who initiates sex to most in your relationship, you or your partner? How do you initiate sex? Do you even go along with them if you aren’t in the mood?
Most of the time my SO and I both want sex so there is really not one that initiates more than the other. But there are some instances that he is tired and wants to just go to bed. I will grab a toy and start to pleasure myself (which doesn't bother me to do in the same bed or in front of him). He can't help himself--he has to invade my space and join in. So I guess you can say that I initiate it the most (whether I intend to or not). If he initiates and I wasn't planning on it that night, I will have sex unless I am feeling bad for some reason or sick. Because most of the time if I'm "not in the mood", he can get me in the mood pretty quickly.
09/20/2019
Contributor: frisky069 frisky069
Quote:
Originally posted by Mr.Pitt
Who initiates sex to most in your relationship, you or your partner? How do you initiate sex? Do you even go along with them if you aren’t in the mood?
I do 95% of the time. My husband has a low sex drive and mine is through the roof. So when he does initiate it I'm defintely not turning it down
10/31/2019
Contributor: madame macbeth madame macbeth
Quote:
Originally posted by Mr.Pitt
Who initiates sex to most in your relationship, you or your partner? How do you initiate sex? Do you even go along with them if you aren’t in the mood?
I used to but now I am honest with him. I wish I could be in the mood but I am just broken.
10/31/2019
Contributor: Croc Croc
Quote:
Originally posted by ZedDeppelin
I think this is a partner to partner situation. There are couples who desire sex equally, but one partner prefers mornings while the other prefers night time sex as an example. In some partnerships, one person has a higher sex derive than the other. ... more
therapy? what kind?
10/31/2019
Contributor: Mr.Pitt Mr.Pitt
Quote:
Originally posted by madame macbeth
I used to but now I am honest with him. I wish I could be in the mood but I am just broken.
Our relationship has been a bit broken. We have become more distant and less connected. I have a very high sex drive and want to do it all the time but don’t want to force it when she isn’t in the mood. I know it and it doesn’t feel right. We have three kids and they are all under 6. They take up all of our time and energy. We have been to therapy and it helped a little. I hate talking and it wasn’t for me. It’s sounds like you are in a big funk and help. We started to try and connect more but now we are in another funk.
12/07/2019
Contributor: H & J H & J
Me 99% of the time its really starting to get old. Male btw.
09/25/2022