Why do girls (perhaps anybody) feel ashamed about having sex? Anyone is welcome to answer

Blame society, race/culture, and religion. I'm Chinese, and I've never felt guilty or ashamed about having sex, or discussing about sex, as it's a normal part of my life. I know there are other Asian (specifically Chinese) EFers out there, but most of them never reveal their race, and the reason being? less

My goal is to figure out why girls especially find sex so shameful. Some girls are embarrassed of the number of guys they have slept with or the acts they have done in the bedroom. I personally don't feel ashamed, so I will add that option. I'd like discussion on this more than anything, but the poll is simply to let people know I'm not assuming this is true for everyone.

Also, if you are a guy and would like to answer, I'd love to hear your response. It'd be unique to hear this kind of thing from the gender that is usually pinned as sexually unrestricted.

I personally feel as if shame comes from social anxiety about sex. Either sexuality is looked down upon (in terms of homosexuality and such), or girls are told that their virginity is more worthy than their pleasure. less

I'm male and I'd agree with your statements, Rossie.
I personally am not ashamed about having had sex with both men and women.
However, I have experienced being denigrated for having had relations with men. People I would otherwise consider to be intelligent and not bigoted have not been particularly accepting about same sex relationships. I've even heard unkind things said about being bi rather then absolutely gay or straight. The reason that some people are intolerant and wish to hurt another through shame if not something worse, I cannot understand or explain. less

My goal is to figure out why girls especially find sex so shameful. Some girls are embarrassed of the number of guys they have slept with or the acts they have done in the bedroom. I personally don't feel ashamed, so I will add that option. I'd like discussion on this more than anything, but the poll is simply to let people know I'm not assuming this is true for everyone.

Also, if you are a guy and would like to answer, I'd love to hear your response. It'd be unique to hear this kind of thing from the gender that is usually pinned as sexually unrestricted.

I personally feel as if shame comes from social anxiety about sex. Either sexuality is looked down upon (in terms of homosexuality and such), or girls are told that their virginity is more worthy than their pleasure. less

My goal is to figure out why girls especially find sex so shameful. Some girls are embarrassed of the number of guys they have slept with or the acts they have done in the bedroom. I personally don't feel ashamed, so I will add that option. I'd like discussion on this more than anything, but the poll is simply to let people know I'm not assuming this is true for everyone.

Also, if you are a guy and would like to answer, I'd love to hear your response. It'd be unique to hear this kind of thing from the gender that is usually pinned as sexually unrestricted.

I personally feel as if shame comes from social anxiety about sex. Either sexuality is looked down upon (in terms of homosexuality and such), or girls are told that their virginity is more worthy than their pleasure. less

My goal is to figure out why girls especially find sex so shameful. Some girls are embarrassed of the number of guys they have slept with or the acts they have done in the bedroom. I personally don't feel ashamed, so I will add that option. I'd like discussion on this more than anything, but the poll is simply to let people know I'm not assuming this is true for everyone.

Also, if you are a guy and would like to answer, I'd love to hear your response. It'd be unique to hear this kind of thing from the gender that is usually pinned as sexually unrestricted.

I personally feel as if shame comes from social anxiety about sex. Either sexuality is looked down upon (in terms of homosexuality and such), or girls are told that their virginity is more worthy than their pleasure. less

My goal is to figure out why girls especially find sex so shameful. Some girls are embarrassed of the number of guys they have slept with or the acts they have done in the bedroom. I personally don't feel ashamed, so I will add that option. I'd like discussion on this more than anything, but the poll is simply to let people know I'm not assuming this is true for everyone.

Also, if you are a guy and would like to answer, I'd love to hear your response. It'd be unique to hear this kind of thing from the gender that is usually pinned as sexually unrestricted.

I personally feel as if shame comes from social anxiety about sex. Either sexuality is looked down upon (in terms of homosexuality and such), or girls are told that their virginity is more worthy than their pleasure. less

I was always more afraid of partner judgments about my lack of experience than anything else. ("You're HOW old and only done it a FEW times????") Closely followed by expressions of disgust that I (an unattractive, plush woman) was being sexual at all. So, mine was more "self-loathing" than shame. less

I'm male and I'd agree with your statements, Rossie.
I personally am not ashamed about having had sex with both men and women.
However, I have experienced being denigrated for having had relations with men. People I would otherwise consider to be intelligent and not bigoted have not been particularly accepting about same sex relationships. I've even heard unkind things said about being bi rather then absolutely gay or straight. The reason that some people are intolerant and wish to hurt another through shame if not something worse, I cannot understand or explain. less

You know that just sickens me. We're pretty hetero-flexible under the right conditions and it's a fantasy we play around with quite frequently. My family hardcore believes that if a man has a penis anywhere near him and he enjoys it any capacity that he's a [forgive me please] fag. It just incenses me to no end.

My sister didn't speak to me for quite a long time because I had a girlfriend in high school instead of a boyfriend.

I refuse to be ashamed of any of it. less

I am a girl & I am not ashamed about sex. How society feels or how others feel about sex has not affected me, thankfully. When you ask if we feel ashamed, if you mean ashamed of our sexual lives as far as being a whore or too easy is concerned, that is not something I deal with because I've been with the same man for almost 7 years now.

Assuming we're still talking about feeling shame due to how many partners we've had, let's just fast forward a little...

Before these past 7 years, before my partner and I ever got together, it was a different story. If you'd asked me then if I feel shame over my sexual activity, I might would have said yes. I'm really not sure I ever felt a lot of guilt or shame, but I can admit that there was/is one thing that I was at least a little bit ashamed of as far as my sexual activity went. I was afraid to say no. When a boyfriend approached the topic of sex, many times I gave in to those typical lies and persuasion. "You're just a scared little girl" was enough to make me give it up once. I don't know why I let words by boyfriends affect me to such an extent that I'd give my self to them when I did not want to, but I did. And I would later feel really badly because I did not want to give myself to these people, not even a tiny bit & I'd kick myself for doing things that I did not want to do just to keep someone from pestering me.

If we're talking about being ashamed because of other things though, such as appearance-wise, then I'd say it depends. Usually, I'm pretty okay with not letting too many icky thoughts about my appearance get in the way of our sex. I have days where I don't feel as confident flaunting it all, but not so bad.

Basically, these days, I feel no shame about anything I do sexually. I'm only with my partner, we are monogamous, we do not feel guilty about the acts we do during our sex & we're pretty happy.

That is not to say I don't cherish myself and my body, even if my partner and I have sex regularly. I cherished my virginity, but didn't totally beat myself up too much over losing it. Today, I see those mistakes as lessons learned, experience that shaped the knowledge and strength I have now, as a woman. Really, they did actually contribute to me looking deep inside myself and seeing that I had to see me as someone too special to just give away to people who pretended to love me. I do cherish my body though and view it as something special, every single time I give it, even if I am giving it to the same spouse over & over. Each time, it's special. It was not pleasurable for me to lose my virginity, and I really don't dwell on it, and I highly doubt any girl finds their first time (or their first 10 times!) pleasurable, so it's not a matter of pleasure over virginity, it wasn't for me anyway. less

None other than those close to me (friends, and others I've dated) even know that I consider myself some-what bisexual. I dated a few girls in high school and very much enjoyed it. I have never had sex with a female, however. I have never felt ashamed, just knew my religious family would never accept it.

I do remember once my girlfriend and I went to our high school's football game together. We kissed a lot, just like the other straight couples did. We liked each other and acted just like the other couples did. Whenever we kissed the guys would stare and chant things like "all right!" and such. The girls called us sluts and dikes. It was hurtful.

We weren't ashamed though, and just did the usual. My family has no idea I ever dated a girl. It's frustrating.

As far as sex in general goes, I'm not ashamed at all even though I used to be. Now I actually find that I wish I could talk more openly about my sex life. I'm really happy about all the different things we have tried and enjoyed. I wish there was someone I knew in person to talk to about the everyday things we try. less

I have never been ashamd about anything to do with my past least of all sex. I am very open about my sex life. I admit I have treated men the way most men treat women. Wham bam thank you man. If and when I am a relationship I give the correct, and rather large number of men I have been with. If I needed to I could list names also. No Fear here!
Maybe this is bad, some may think I have no respect for myself. That thought is wrong I respect myself more I think. I am friends with many of the men I have slept with, one of my good friends is the guy that I lost it too, and my best friend is one of my ex's (we started as friends, went to fuck buddies, went on to a relationship, that ended when he fell in love with me, and he is now my best friend)!
Ok maybe I gave a little TMI here, but sex is nothing to be ashmed of! less

I was always more afraid of partner judgments about my lack of experience than anything else. ("You're HOW old and only done it a FEW times????") Closely followed by expressions of disgust that I (an unattractive, plush woman) was being sexual at all. So, mine was more "self-loathing" than shame. less