Why is sex not like anything else?

Why is sex not like anything else?

That Weird Guy That Weird Guy
I'm wondering why sex is not talked about a whole lot. Why do people consider it something bad? When it's brought up people become defensive and say no you can't say that here. What makes this subject a topic like no other? Why is it different than sports or talking about a movie or something? Why do people get uncomfortable?

Someone I talked to said I was blinded and he told me all my other friends feel the same way, and they had actually talked about it with each other about how I'm weird or inappropriate.

To me sex is like any other subject I guess, it's not embarrassing to me, I don't feel any different when people talk to me about it. But people seem to be the complete opposite of me, and I DON'T GET IT. Why am I different or what has happened to me to cause me to be different from everyone else. It's like I don't fit/belong or something.

So my question is why/how am I blinded like this. How does it happen that I'm outcast so far apart from the majority of society. I don't know what it is that I don't see that makes it different...
07/13/2009
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spicywife spicywife
That probably depends a lot on your personality and possibly your upbringing. Did you parents talk to you about sex or did you have someone in your life to talk to sex about in a comfortable, natural manner?

Most people don't want to talk about sex because they think it's something between two people, or because of religious reasons or other "moral" reasons. For some, it just makes them uncomfortable because they aren't comfortable with their own sexuality.

You might want to consider only talking to people who are comfortable with it because some people will be pushed away and offended. I still think you should be yourself, but I often refrain from talking about certain subjects around certain people because I know that it will offend them or make them uncomfortable. For example, my inlaws are very religious and they are against "new age" things so I don't mention things like that around them. It just wouldn't do any good. We don't change who we are when they visit, but we know that our conversations with them are different than with each other or with some of our friends.

It's good that you are comfortable with your sexuality and are willing to talk about sex, but don't be surprised when you find that more than a handful of people aren't willing to.

None of our friends talk about sex, it's considered "private." It's just not something they discuss. It's like a taboo for some and I understand your frustration. Some people like to keep it private and others are just too uncomfortable with sexuality in generally.
07/13/2009
Raven Raven
Quote:
Originally posted by That Weird Guy
I'm wondering why sex is not talked about a whole lot. Why do people consider it something bad? When it's brought up people become defensive and say no you can't say that here. What makes this subject a topic like no other? Why is it ...
I am in total agreement with you and I also wonder how it get started that sexual subjects got to be so taboo. It is a wonderful, natural part of the human experience and should be able to be discussed just like any other topic. This has been going on for thousands of years so it's not a recent thing, but it does seem as though it's getting worse in some areas.

I also have no problem discussing sexual subjects with anyone but since there are so few out there who are inclined to do so, those conversations are few and far between. Out of everyone I know, even those who are willing to discuss sex to any degree, I am the only one with no boundaries. Guess that's why I love this forum so much.
07/13/2009
Valyn Valyn
spicywife makes some good points. My family is all Christian/Catholic, and the only sex talk I ever had was "not till you're married". I learned about it in school and from friends (And then later, experience). With my family, you just don't talk about sex - heck, you just don't talk about those "private parts" at all. My mother has opened up a little, and I can now talk to her about womens health issues, like yeast infections or gyno visits, etc. But I know she doesn't want to talk about sex, so I don't go there.

I think that many people feel their most vulnerable during sex. Think about it- you are (often) fully naked, and you're literally combining bodies. It can be a very delicate position for some people- especially those who worry about what others think, or have self-esteem issues. That may be why many people just can't talk about sex.

That, or.. maybe talking about sex turns people on. I've met a few people that can't seem to distinguish talking about sex as facts, or personal stories.. every sex talk turns them on. That also puts people back into that very vulnerable area, or makes people (usually guys, I've noticed) uncomfortable, largely in part, because if they're turned on, they need to stay sitting where they are and calm down before they can get up and go on with their day.

I'm the same way you are, TWG. I've never had a problem talking about sex, it's always just been another topic. To me, it's a very natural part of life. But, just as comfortable as I am with sex, I know that many people are totally the opposite.

Lots of people I knew through grade school were traumatized in some way by sex. There were a few times in school when people I barely knew would confide in me that their step dads or uncles or cousins would do inappropriate things to them. It really surprised me how common it was. For many of them, telling someone wouldn't have helped- no one would believe them. I can't even imagine how terrible the idea of sex would be to someone that had been molested or raped.It's hard to judge who was or wasn't traumatized by sex at a young age, so.. I find it's best to either avoid talking about sex, or ease into it very very cautiously.

I guess my advice would be to consider upbringing or possible histories of people before talking to them about sex. Everyone is different, and I can understand how it might just be "wrong" to talk about sex. And, after all, there will always be us, if you need to share!
07/13/2009
Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by That Weird Guy
I'm wondering why sex is not talked about a whole lot. Why do people consider it something bad? When it's brought up people become defensive and say no you can't say that here. What makes this subject a topic like no other? Why is it ...
You're right, and there's nothing wrong with you. Sex seems to have always been sort of a real taboo subject, although without it we wouldn't be here, and it can be such a beautiful thing! Don't let others put you down for being yourself, and if they continue, I would recommend not hanging around with them. These are not the kind of friends who are worth having if they treat you like that! Sex is such a beautiful courtship in my opinion when two bodies come together in love and in trust, and it is a wonderful subject to talk about! You are very brave as well for posting a forum on this subject, and I myself am very proud.
07/29/2010
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