Advice to a non-orgasming friend.

Contributor: AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
I have a young friend who is just experimenting with a new partner. She asked for my advice on how to orgasm during sex. She can have one masturbating on her own only, so far. She has never been able to climax during intercourse and really wants that experience with this partner. I gave her my tips and tricks and toy suggestions. I'd love to hear what suggestions you guys have on how to orgasm during sex.
07/11/2011
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Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
Quote:
Originally posted by AngelvMaynard
I have a young friend who is just experimenting with a new partner. She asked for my advice on how to orgasm during sex. She can have one masturbating on her own only, so far. She has never been able to climax during intercourse and really wants that ... more
When she orgasms does she masturbate penetratively. Some people can't orgasm with penetrative sex she might need to have her parter work her clit while they are together.

Alternatively it might just be a stress issue or that she is uncomfortable with her new partner and needs to just relax.
07/11/2011
Contributor: ToyQuest ToyQuest
orgasming with a partner takes a lot of trust and time for most women. Also different positions can make it easier/harder. I find it's easier to orgasm in doggy style, or woman on top. That being said, when it's someone I really enjoy sex with, I can orgasm in about any position. My friend often uses a vibrator to help her orgasm with her boyfriend and that works wonders for her.
07/29/2011
Contributor: EJ EJ
I'm with ToyQuest's friend on this one; I'd try the clitoral vibrator at the same time.
08/01/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Seeing as that between 80 and 90% of women do not orgasm from PIV sex alone, there are other ways to enjoy sex than to seek "orgasm during intercourse." Most women have orgasms from clitoral stimulation, with or without different types of stimulations. I've been having sex for over 20 years, and I don't often have a first orgasm during PIV. I need oral sex, and usually a vibrator while he helps in some other way. When I was younger, I only needed the oral sex, but people's sexual response can change with age and time.

Many couples concentrate on one orgasm at a time. Usually (if it's a hetero couple) dual stimulation, then working on her orgasm first (many women have their first orgasm with a partner from oral sex mixed with digital penetration) then having PIV sex or fellatio and working on his.

If she can come from masturbation, she can let him know what works for her, and then he can copy it. What they are doing when the orgasm happens isn't as important as doing what it takes to MAKE it happen.

I would not call her "non-orgasming&qu ot; as that is a woman who doesn't have orgasm yet. She can have orgasms, why does she have to have them in ONE certain way? She needs to communicate to him what works for her and he can use his hands, his mouth, toys or whatever it takes to make her happy. She may NEVER have an orgasm during PIV sex, but coming anytime during the whole sexual experience is often as good or even better.

Personally, I wouldn't put too much stress on "orgasm during intercourse" as there are other ways to achieve climax that may suit her better, and also make a better lover out of her partner.
08/01/2011
Contributor: FemmeFlo FemmeFlo
I'm going to agree with the people who say to use a clit vibrator during sex. And the people who say that he should help her to achieve orgasm in other ways as well. The best lovers don't rush straight for the main course; they take their time getting there and make sure that you do as well.
10/24/2011
Contributor: Winifred Winifred
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Seeing as that between 80 and 90% of women do not orgasm from PIV sex alone, there are other ways to enjoy sex than to seek "orgasm during intercourse." Most women have orgasms from clitoral stimulation, with or without different types of ... more
This is a great response! Love it =]
11/25/2012
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
I continue to be baffled by the assumption that a woman should be able to easily orgasm by penetration alone.
I don't see a problem with her working her own clit so that she can orgasm while her partner is penetrating her. A man who is being penetrated will regularly work his own cock so that he can orgasm while his partner is fucking him, we do.
11/25/2012