Do you think 3 somes are just for non committed couples?

I'd say your the exception to the rule. Not very many monogamous can handle the psychological challenges of a 3-some. It's great that it works for you - but it wouldn't work for my wife & I.

I dont think that three somes are just for non committed couples. I just think it depends on the preferences of each individual couple. It also depends on what people think "committed" means.

We know the difference between 'sex' and 'making love'. We would never 'make love' during a 3some, but there is nothing like him giving me what I want. I am the one who asked for them.

We don't do them often..ok we don't do them at all anymore. But, we used to and we were married at the time. Well actually it was a foursome, not a threesome. Actually our first one was when we had been married for two years and together for two more on top of that. The only reason it didn't work for us was because the other couple was NOT able to separate sex from feelings and they wanted to bring it to the level of being open relationships..which was not what my husband and I wanted. We only wanted to do it as a couple and not have separate encounters with the people. We learned down the road that the couple wasn't all that strong and we ended things when the husband was trying to make moves on me and trying to convince me to come see him without my husband. There was no way that was happening and we broke things off sexually but remained friends. The wife then started cheating on the husband with I think two different men, and they are now divorced. It was a huge mess, but not on our end. We were ok with it and didn't have issues. I don't think that having a threesome means you don't love the person because I am madly in love with my husband and always have been..I think it's just a way for certain people to spice things up if they can handle not getting jealous about it. I'm secure in my relationship..I know he loves me and even if we experimented I knew he would be happy with just me and was always satisfied with just me. Since that mess which was 4 years ago we have not been in any other kind of group situation and I'm not really sure we ever will be, I think we've grown out of it and it's now longer our thing.

And WOW I just wrote a novel..

It depends on the maturity level of the people and how comfortable they are. It's not necessarily meaning they are uncommitted. My bf and I are committed but we don't feel comfy with doing any 3somes, so we don't, even though it's a possible fantasy. We just don't want the drama.

If it works for some, more power to them.

I think it completely depends on the couple-- whether you're committed for the long term or not, I think you have to be in a certain "place" in your relationship if you don't want the threesome to wreak havoc on said relationship. I also think it depends on your preferences, and what being in a committed, (basically) monogamous relationship means to you. For various reasons, it's not for us.

we are in love, but that doesn't stop us. We swing (soft swap, play together only) and have a blast doing it.

we have rules like any other couple in the lifestyle.

True, many cannot handle it and those should not even consider it. It can destroy a marriage in no time flat.

My husband and I have had threesomes and are very much in love. When we had the threesome it was "just sex" at that point. When we are together we are "making love" to eachother. There is a big difference. When we get a third person involved it is just to spice things up, not replace anyone. We are both very secure and happy with eachother and nothing will ever change that.

I think it takes an extremely strong relationship to survive a threesome. I wouldn't say that level of commitment is always a factor.

No! But it can be difficult to deal with emotionally. Stuff is hard

thanks to all who have posted. as someone curious (mostly due to some mad pressing from my boyfriend's side) about a 3some, it is really good to have some background stories and honest experiences and opinions about it.



certainly nothing to jump into.

I believe it can go either way. I've heard of committed couples having a 3-some just because they both wanted to spice things up and it was a shared fantasy

I don't think it's just for 'non-committed' couples. So long as you both want it and think you can both handle it, then all the more fun to ya! To me, it shows that you both trust each other a lot if you're able to have a threesome.