Finding out your partner was bi?

Finding out your partner was bi?

CRAZYSEXYONE CRAZYSEXYONE
Would you be mad that if after you were married that your partner was Bi? and maybe even had experiences that they had never shared with you?
06/15/2012
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- Kira - - Kira -
I'm bi and married, so I see no issues with being married to a bi partner. I'd actually be thrilled if my husband was bi as well. lol Now, would I be as happy if I found these things out after I was married? Not so much. I think that's something that should be discussed openly during the "dating" phase. Not after you've said "I do." I'm not a fan of experiences or big parts of someone being dropped on you after marriage. Just like I wouldn't want my husband to go from being a neat freak to a slob or vice versa after marriage. I want to know who someone is 100% (or close to) before marriage. That includes sexual identity, whatever it may be. I also like to know as much about big sexual experiences as possible before considering marriage. If big things like having sex with someone of the same sex were told after marriage, I guess I'd feel like the person was trying to hide it before the marriage for one reason or another.

Now it may be that a person would hide that info because s/he would be worried about the reaction from their partner. If I found something like that out after marriage, I'd want to get to the bottom of why my partner felt they couldn't share that info with me beforehand.
06/15/2012
lecanis lecanis
Quote:
Originally posted by CRAZYSEXYONE
Would you be mad that if after you were married that your partner was Bi? and maybe even had experiences that they had never shared with you?
I don't think there's anything inherent in marriage that makes a person need to share every detail of their previous experience. It's true that sexual experience is an important thing to know about a partner for various reasons: knowing what they enjoy, how much they know about sex, disease status.

However, there are a lot of good reasons that bisexual people feel uncomfortable talking about it. Most of us have had partners call it quits over bisexuality, and it's hard to just keep putting it out there under those circumstances.

Ultimately, I'd say it would depend on how much value you placed on knowing every detail of someone's sexuality, and how well you expressed that to your partner. But remembering that there's a difference between 'being bisexual' and having a desire to cheat someone is important!
06/15/2012
Mitzuki Mitzuki
^ What both above me have said. They each worded things how I kind of wanted to, even though both were stating something different.
06/16/2012
Ilovelingerie Ilovelingerie
Quote:
Originally posted by CRAZYSEXYONE
Would you be mad that if after you were married that your partner was Bi? and maybe even had experiences that they had never shared with you?
I would be very upset if I found out something like that, that he had never told me about, yes. Especially since we have been together for multiple years. It wouldn't be like he just haden't gotten around to it yet or anything lol.
06/16/2012
CRAZYSEXYONE CRAZYSEXYONE
This was a topic me and a friend from school were discussing the other day. I to think you should be honest. But is there a limit to what you tell your partner? I was honest for the most part with my hubby before we ever slept together... that being said since he does know a lot of what i have done and been threw some times when we get into fights and he will throw that in my face or threaten to tell certain people that I really would not like to know my business. That being said I can see why people would not tell their partner everything that has happened
06/16/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by CRAZYSEXYONE
This was a topic me and a friend from school were discussing the other day. I to think you should be honest. But is there a limit to what you tell your partner? I was honest for the most part with my hubby before we ever slept together... that being ...
My husband knows everything I've done. He will jokingly say he'll tell my mom (the only person in the world that doesn't know I'm bi), but he's never said it in the heat of an argument or seriously.

I think if your partner is threatening to tell your personal business then that's an issue with your partner. I've had a few asshole friends share more than I would have preferred with people I don't even know, but my partners have usually been kind enough to keep my personal business my personal business.

Past experiences shouldn't be thrown in people's faces during arguments. It's in the past - it's not like you can go back and undo what you've done even if you so desired (which I assume you probably don't). If someone is throwing your sexuality in your face like it's somehow a bad thing, I would question that person. I've had some guys get insecure about my experiences, but if they started throwing it in my face like I had done something wrong...well, I wouldn't put up with much of that.

I think in a good, solid relationship you should be able to be open about things without fear of having those things thrown in your face at a later point in time. I would always suggest feeling a person out before disclosing tons of info, but by the point of marriage you should know if your spouse is the type to use that information against you.
06/16/2012
Nora29714 Nora29714
idk what i'd do honestly...
06/16/2012
britanny0620 britanny0620
I'd be mad that they didn't share that information with me, but I'd be fine with their sexuality.
06/16/2012
CadmiumKitty CadmiumKitty
I think I would feel a bit decieved
07/11/2012
Princess Zelda Princess Zelda
I found out after I was married and after I had been brain washed that Woman are ment for men, that I found out the reason my father left right before the wedding (to my mom) that he ran away with another guy and to this day is a proud gay man.

I had always fought that I might and kept to myself that I like woman way more than guys. And to find out why my dad left AFTER I was married was kind of a slap in the face since my family thought I was gay before that. (I think they still do But I dont know and I dont know if I am gay or just Bi)
07/21/2012
freud13 freud13
I wouldn't be mad that my partner is bi as I identify as pansexual. However, I feel like sexual experiences and preferences should be talked about openly and honestly before getting married.
07/21/2012
Roz W Roz W
Life's a journey and all that; I think it's totally possible to marry someone, and then they enter a phase of their life where they question their sexuality. Coming out later in life doesn't have to mean that the first part was some kind of lie, or that they were deliberately hiding something.

If somebody were deliberately hiding something, that would suck. But I tend to get attached to people who are at least a little queer. I like that, and I would want them to like that about themselves.
07/21/2012
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 11