This is a question that has been bugging me lately...
How can your know for sure that you're bi?
04/09/2012
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Labels are more damaging than they are helpful. There is no litmus test for sexuality. If you're attracted to men and women, both romantically and sexually, you're "bisexual". Or you may be pansexual. Or you may not care who you're attracted to or whether they were born with a vagina or a penis and you don't put silly labels on yourself and just enjoy the love and the attraction that you have found.
But the boring response is: Answer this question. Are you attracted to both men and women? If you answered yes, you're bisexual. Congratulations!
But the boring response is: Answer this question. Are you attracted to both men and women? If you answered yes, you're bisexual. Congratulations!
04/09/2012
I disagree that labels are necessarily damaging. I do think they can be limiting if we focus on them too much, but they can also be quite empowering. It feels to good name the parts of ourselves that wouldn't otherwise be recognized.
I would modify Nazaress' question a little bit: "But the boring response is: Answer this question. Are you attracted to both men and women?"
If you answered yes, do you think that social label would make sense for you (do you feel comfortable signaling to people that you're willing to date men and women)? Said another way, do you WANT to identify as bisexual? If you answered yes, then you're bisexual. Congratulations!
If you said, "I'm not sure," then sit tight. You can't rush trying to figure out who/what you're attracted to, unfortunately. If you stay open to exploring, you'll figure what you want as you move along. (And know that's okay to shuffle identities! I can't tell you how many people I know who've switched from identifying as straight to bi to straight to gay to bi, etc. That's pretty common and there's nothing wrong with it.)
I would modify Nazaress' question a little bit: "But the boring response is: Answer this question. Are you attracted to both men and women?"
If you answered yes, do you think that social label would make sense for you (do you feel comfortable signaling to people that you're willing to date men and women)? Said another way, do you WANT to identify as bisexual? If you answered yes, then you're bisexual. Congratulations!
If you said, "I'm not sure," then sit tight. You can't rush trying to figure out who/what you're attracted to, unfortunately. If you stay open to exploring, you'll figure what you want as you move along. (And know that's okay to shuffle identities! I can't tell you how many people I know who've switched from identifying as straight to bi to straight to gay to bi, etc. That's pretty common and there's nothing wrong with it.)
04/09/2012
I am one of those crazy people that believes that everyone is a little bit 'bisexual.' I think that the most traditional definition is that you are 50% attracted to male bodied people and 50% attracted to female bodied people. I identify as being maybe 70% attracted to men, so for simplicities sake I consider myself 'straight.'
But girl, you can call yourself whatever you want and you shouldn't let MY definition of the label be YOUR definition of the label.
But girl, you can call yourself whatever you want and you shouldn't let MY definition of the label be YOUR definition of the label.
04/09/2012
I don't think you ever know. I think people are attracted to individual people. I don't think there is anyone who goes crazy over every single female. People have preferences. I think its something you decide as you go along.
04/09/2012
Quote:
This is true. Mostly, I was referring to the idea that labels oftentimes stifle people or make them feel bad for their feelings. I know that I identify as a lesbian to make things easier for others (and not at all for myself) but since I have a boyfriend and find myself rarely attracted to SOME men (but not enough, I would say, to be "bisexual"), I am sometimes ridiculed and made to feel awkward because I'm not "lesbian" enough. That was my main point, at least.
Originally posted by
Positwist
I disagree that labels are necessarily damaging. I do think they can be limiting if we focus on them too much, but they can also be quite empowering. It feels to good name the parts of ourselves that wouldn't otherwise be recognized.
I ... more
I ... more
I disagree that labels are necessarily damaging. I do think they can be limiting if we focus on them too much, but they can also be quite empowering. It feels to good name the parts of ourselves that wouldn't otherwise be recognized.
I would modify Nazaress' question a little bit: "But the boring response is: Answer this question. Are you attracted to both men and women?"
If you answered yes, do you think that social label would make sense for you (do you feel comfortable signaling to people that you're willing to date men and women)? Said another way, do you WANT to identify as bisexual? If you answered yes, then you're bisexual. Congratulations!
If you said, "I'm not sure," then sit tight. You can't rush trying to figure out who/what you're attracted to, unfortunately. If you stay open to exploring, you'll figure what you want as you move along. (And know that's okay to shuffle identities! I can't tell you how many people I know who've switched from identifying as straight to bi to straight to gay to bi, etc. That's pretty common and there's nothing wrong with it.) less
I would modify Nazaress' question a little bit: "But the boring response is: Answer this question. Are you attracted to both men and women?"
If you answered yes, do you think that social label would make sense for you (do you feel comfortable signaling to people that you're willing to date men and women)? Said another way, do you WANT to identify as bisexual? If you answered yes, then you're bisexual. Congratulations!
If you said, "I'm not sure," then sit tight. You can't rush trying to figure out who/what you're attracted to, unfortunately. If you stay open to exploring, you'll figure what you want as you move along. (And know that's okay to shuffle identities! I can't tell you how many people I know who've switched from identifying as straight to bi to straight to gay to bi, etc. That's pretty common and there's nothing wrong with it.) less
Besides that, almost everyone is a little "bisexual", at least. There are very few people who are not heterosexual (if gay) or homosexual (if straight) to some extent and who would not make an exception, no matter how small, for a gender outside of their usual preference.
04/09/2012
There's no way to "know for sure" other than just knowing. If you find yourself attracted to both sexes and you choose to identify as bisexual, then you're bisexual.
04/10/2012
I have to agree that everyone's probably a little bisexual. It's really just a matter of how open minded people are to admitting those things about themselves. I also think labels are kind of silly though. They're just a way of categorizing people. Using myself as an example, I consider myself bisexual even though I've dated and slept with more men than women. I'm currently in a long term relationship with a transguy. According to some, I should consider myself pansexual because trans* identities fall outside of the "normal" male-female spectrum.
04/14/2012
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I agree. And this can change over time.
Originally posted by
Girly Juice
There's no way to "know for sure" other than just knowing. If you find yourself attracted to both sexes and you choose to identify as bisexual, then you're bisexual.
04/15/2012
Total posts: 9
Unique posters: 7