The New Intimacy

I am bi and my bf is okay with it. We talked about 3somes so I can be with a woman too, but he makes jokes about me leaving him for a woman. I'm afraid a threesome would complicate our relationship.

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Contributor: col2717 col2717
So, I'm curious what others think of the situation and which course of action should I pursue. Everyone has such wonderful and diverse perspectives, I would love to hear them all! I know I have to find my own answers but I'd love to see what others think and what their perspective is. I'm new to this site and I love it!
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Sit down and discuss everything. What could go wrong? What does he really want?
philly , jedent , xyrella , PiratePrincess , Sapphire Pet , eeep , stars , pinkcupcakes , OhMy! , Ms. Spice , froggiemoma , Ghost , Sohotdinosaur , El-Jaro , Ciao. , BBW Talks Toys , OroNomi , biancajames , Claire de Cerises
19
Don't pursue the discussion. He will only get more and more insecure or against the idea.
Wait and see how the relationship evolves from here on out.
jedent , xyrella , her angelness , El-Jaro
4
Other (Please leave a comment and explain)
Entropy
1
Total votes: 24 (21 voters)
Poll is closed
12/21/2011
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Contributor: philly philly
Full communication is always key!
12/21/2011
Contributor: Sapphire Pet Sapphire Pet
You have to have full communication! Talk about everything, in detail! No matter how difficult. Better to be difficult now than cause huge problems later!
12/21/2011
Contributor: her angelness her angelness
i believe no matter how much you think you know yourself, you may react differently when you actually go through with the experience. i think the aftermath of a threesome depends on the kind of relationship you have with your bf so perhaps you could try it out if it seems appropriate. i personally would avoid it with a steady bf but not so much with a guy i just want to have fun with.
12/21/2011
Contributor: eeep eeep
Its best to be open about things and talk about it. The elephant is already in the room, may as well acknowledge it on your own terms. Eventually the issue will come up, best to have it happen in a calm, positive, and coherent discussion.
12/22/2011
Contributor: froggiemoma froggiemoma
Talk it out.
12/22/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I wouldn't bring it up for a while and wait for him to bring it up. If it's a new thing for him, he has a lot of things to process. If you bring it up too soon, it could be seen as pushy.

Definitely talk though, make sure he understands you don't want to "cheat on him" with someone else(something he may consider).
12/22/2011
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
Any opening of a relationship (whether it's just a one-night thing or an ongoing thing) needs to be discussed by the both of you if it is going to be successful. The only way you are going to find out whether or not its going to work is to actually discuss it. And be ready to keep having those discussions no matter what the initial outcome is. But if it is something you both find you are willing to explore there's no reason why it can't work!
12/22/2011
Contributor: col2717 col2717
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I wouldn't bring it up for a while and wait for him to bring it up. If it's a new thing for him, he has a lot of things to process. If you bring it up too soon, it could be seen as pushy.

Definitely talk though, make sure he ... more
Thanks! I actually think he's been in a threesome before but not with a girlfriend, just a friends with benefits situation. So it is new in the sense that I'm his steady, serious girlfriend!
12/23/2011
Contributor: biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by col2717
So, I'm curious what others think of the situation and which course of action should I pursue. Everyone has such wonderful and diverse perspectives, I would love to hear them all! I know I have to find my own answers but I'd love to see what ... more
These jokes are his way of expressing fear and insecurity. Talking about it might but his mind at ease, and you can work on setting boundaries so that everyone feels safer. It may be that you're not yet at a point in your relationship where this would feel safe for him, as well.
12/24/2011