(Gay) Sex and Virginity

how do u feel u lost it

I have the same situation.
I consider the guy when I 'lost my virginity' and the girl the 'first sexual experience'. I slightly blame my sister for my viewing it this way, her ideas all projected on me.

Having just skimmed the thread before putting my two cents in, your virginity was lost when you considered it lost.


For me, my virginity was lost to a transman with a strap on. That is what I considered my virginity.

lost mine to a guy

it's completely up to you!

I would say that your first willing sexual partner, be it male or female, is the one you lost your virginity to.

I am also Pansexual.

I was raped by a male when I was 13, but I do not consider him to have taken my virginity, although he was the first sexual contact I had.

From some comment I had elsewhere: why is the gaining of sexual experience a "loss" at all?

But yeah. People brought up the points already. But I'm mostly thinking that rewriting an already problematic construct (pressure on women to be pure and unpenetrated?) to be LGBT-inclusive isn't worth it. "Virginity" is stupid. Nobody took it. You had an experience with someone, and then you had an experience with someone else.

I consider sex to be any act by two or more people that involves the genitalia of one or more partners in a mutually consensual and pleasurable manner. If you consider "virginity" to be lost when you have sex for the first time then, by my definition, you lost it when you had sex with your first woman. But I don't believe in virginity as a concept. I think it's an antiquated and unrealistic idea. There's even medical debate over whether the hymen is even real. The idea of "breaking" they hymen is considered by some to be a myth. It's little bits of tissue that may break during normal, non-sexual physical activity or an injury or may not have ever been solid or even present in the first place! Some women are born without them, for some the tissue breaks down after time, during exercise, injury, menstruation, tampon use, or for others it's not obstructive enough to be "broken" during intercourse. While some women have very rigid tissue that poses more of a problem, this is actually pretty rare. Most sexual and medical professionals agree that sex doesn't even have to hurt the first time and that pain during first intercourse is due to not being aroused or properly prepared or lubricated enough, being nervous or tense, or simply not going slowly enough. I think our lives, especially our sexual lives are best viewed as a series of firsts and encores performances. There are things people don't do for the first time until they are 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 or older or may never do in their lifetimes. Does the first time you do one thing render the first time you do something else less meaningful or less profound in some way? NO! Of course not. I'm a lesbian and I had my first sexual encounter with a man, but my first sexual encounter with a woman, a few years later, was MUCH more meaningful than the loss of my supposed virginity, which did not, incidentally, feature any sort of breaking of anything since there was no hymen to break in my case. Either it broke unnoticed at some point in my childhood, probably riding a horse or some other physical activity, or I never had one to begin with. The first time I had sex with a man was an important milestone in my life but there have been many and a great number of them more important to me than the first time a guy put his dick inside me. My sexual evolution has included a lot of firsts, the first time I fingered a woman, the first time I went down on one, the first time I fisted someone, the first time I wore a strap on, the first time I was fisted, the first time someone used a strap on on me, my first bdsm encounter and I could go on for miles from there. Each time I have sex with a new partner for the first time is a new one. Each one is like losing my alleged virginity all over again because each time it's something new I haven't done before and it's no less significant for the fact that I've had a penis in my vagina before.

I would say the girl counts as losing your virginity.

The "true" loss of your virginity is, in my opinion, with whoever you think it was with.

Why is virginity even still a thing? The concept serves no purpose that I can discern.

sex is sex, wheover you first had sex with took away your virginity. doesn't matter if it has a vagina or penis.

I tend to think of people having multiple virginities. I lost my oral, scissoring, first partnered orgasm, first orgasm given to someone else, etc, virginities to a woman. I did lose my first intercourse virginity to a man. It didn't feel like as big a deal as the moments with my first partner did.