How do you feel about the use of "queer" as a label of sexuality?

Contributor: hornypoet69 hornypoet69
I have heard a lot of debate about this, so I was wondering what you all here think. Queer was originally used as an offensive term for gay people, but in recent years, it has come to be more of a label of pride for some. But not everyone can separate it from its offensive past. As I understand, queer is a word for anyone who isn't straight: gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual. I've also heard the term used to cover alternate gender identities. How do people here feel about the term?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I think its offensive
ShinySuicide , Alan & Michele , RyanReynolds , Howells , Rossie , angel142stx , anonymouse58 , l'amour , Miss Anonymous , falalena , IvyFayette , Beautiful-Disaster , JADE76 , Bme
14  (10%)
I think its a positive label
hornypoet69 , Brosia , Reyes , ToyGurl , gingernicole , Rockin' , hjtee , Top to Bottom , Darling Jen , Adriana Ravenlust , sicko , G.L. Morrison , Fishie Princess , deae04 , anonymouse , Puss in Boots , rdytogo , Twitch , CherryDyke , Katelyn , eak59 , femmepwr , Genderfree , katat , novanilla , purpledesert , souviet , doowop , LoganAshlee. , WhoopieDoo , aluminummm , Nerdychick , butts , Vanille , tequilafish , I Am Sherlocked , FlightyBroad , Lildrummrgurl7 , friendswithfangs , alextge , GONE! , marshmallow , LoneOokami , Miss Delusion , karenm , Lady of the Lab , lauraxxarual , tinybird , KittyGoesRawr
49  (37%)
Other
MaryExy , clp , liilii080 , Waterfall , jay28 , ninaspinkturtle , sexyintexas , Devz , padmeamidala , BBW Talks Toys , El-Jaro , DeliciousSurprise , cujo467 , Anjulie , Tess , Sir , daniel and frances , Gunsmoke , Lady Marmelade , Dusk , Kat Shanahan , SiNn , zeebot , thebest , Cedarlooman , hyperfemmepony , Midway through , Triple X Moma , John Baddi , KnK , LostBoy988 , ZenaidaMacroura , Stephanie Marie , systematicweasel , mmike , Jenyana , The Curious Couple , null , NothingPerfect , Kdlips , TheSlyFox , Kkay , oldhippy , Wednesday , Why , allinonekid , Rainbow Boy , ellejay , AmethystSmoke , dhig , Cherrylane , skippywashere , srexom , Avant-garde , jfree , Rainbows , bog , Raymaker , captainsgirl , JennSenn , TheirPet , SassySam , improbableomnicide , big b , lovelyzombie , KrissyNovacaine , Little BoPeep , PlumAmbition , FrustratedFemme , Hipposterous , mr115393
71  (53%)
Total votes: 134
Poll is closed
05/31/2011
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Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
I'm fine with it when someone decides to call themselves that. I'm not sure I'd be ok with someone blatantly using the term for any non-straight person they met, though, because some people may find it highly offensive to be called that. Hrm...
05/31/2011
Contributor: Brosia Brosia
It's definitely a personal preference. I identify as queer, but I certainly wouldn't slap that label on someone else without their consent.
05/31/2011
Contributor: ShinySuicide ShinySuicide
I find it somewhat offensive. It really just depends on the situation..
05/31/2011
Contributor: babyrock babyrock
I don't understand why people let other people's words affect them. So what if they call me x, y, or z?

I don't care about people who try to use words to hurt others, so why should I care about what they say? In my opinion, they are silly to think I define my self-image or self-worth based on what other people call me.
05/31/2011
Contributor: clp clp
When asked, I identify as queer. I like having the umbrella term, as I generally don't feel a need to clarify.

You only need to hear it once as a slur to know that it can still badly, deeply cut.
05/31/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
I think it sounds antiquated so I don't often use it.
05/31/2011
Contributor: Waterfall Waterfall
I don't mind it, but I personally don't use it.
05/31/2011
Contributor: ninaspinkturtle ninaspinkturtle
Quote:
Originally posted by hornypoet69
I have heard a lot of debate about this, so I was wondering what you all here think. Queer was originally used as an offensive term for gay people, but in recent years, it has come to be more of a label of pride for some. But not everyone can ... more
depends on the person i guess
05/31/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by hornypoet69
I have heard a lot of debate about this, so I was wondering what you all here think. Queer was originally used as an offensive term for gay people, but in recent years, it has come to be more of a label of pride for some. But not everyone can ... more
I think that its fine as long as it isn't being used offensively. If you are using it in a respectful way ok, but if you are just being an ass then no.
05/31/2011
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
It doesn't bother me if a homosexual person uses it, but it does when I hear a straight person say it. It just seems rude. I'm old enough that I still remember when "queer" meant "odd", and what's so odd about a person choosing one sexuality over another?
06/01/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
(This is a very generalized definition and doesn't even begin to get into the full aspects of Queer-theory, which I'm rather ignorant of but trying to educate myself, or all the nuances of identifying as "queer")

I think part of the "controversy" over the word is that its meaning has changed. It doesn't just mean "homosexual." Like CLP said, it's an umbrella term that can be used to identify someone who's not necessarily straight (or is straight), but may not be in a conventional relationship including, but not limited to, being in a relationship with a homosexual person, straight cis-gendered person, transgendered person, gender-bending (but not transsexual) person, intersexed person, etc.

It's often how I identify because I don't really like the term "bisexual." To me, it doesn't fit because I'm not equally attracted to both men and women; but I'm in a monogamous marriage with a straight cis-gendered man.
06/01/2011
Contributor: gingernicole gingernicole
I identify as queer so I don't find it offensive at all. I'm definitely not bi. However, I wouldn't identify as a lesbian either... I would be offended by it only if I heard someone use it to be rude to someone. In that case, it wouldn't be the word that offended, but the use of it.
06/01/2011
Contributor: Anjulie Anjulie
I just feel people shoudl be able to call themselves whatever they want. It's just words.
06/01/2011
Contributor: Sir Sir
I do not find it offensive, but I'm not exactly in favor of it either. Why not just say "gender fluid" like people used to? Or why not use the term "pansexual?" Or why not just say "open-minded" like I do? I do not understand its use, but I'm not against it really. If people identify as that, then I respect it and accept it as well. But I do not understand why the term has changed, really.

Queer is an umbrella term, both for sexuality and gender. It means fluidity, but why the term fluid cannot just be used, I do not know. I don't use it, so it's not my business.
06/10/2011
Contributor: daniel and frances daniel and frances
Quote:
Originally posted by hornypoet69
I have heard a lot of debate about this, so I was wondering what you all here think. Queer was originally used as an offensive term for gay people, but in recent years, it has come to be more of a label of pride for some. But not everyone can ... more
I think it depends on how it's used.
06/10/2011
Contributor: hjtee hjtee
I use the term queer, as I feel it is all encompassing.

Fortunately, I am very thick skinned, so when someone uses it as an offensive term, it doesn't bother me. Although I rarely hear it used that way.
06/13/2011
Contributor: [Red] [Red]
The term 'queer' doesn't carry any meaning, really. It's too general a term to specify anything aside from denoting one as 'outside the norm', but these days, that could mean anything. The definitions seem as numerous as there are individuals who describe themselves with the term. I wouldn't use it to identify myself and I wouldn't understand the intent of one who used it to identify themselves-- I wouldn't know what they would be trying to describe.
06/13/2011
Contributor: Kat Shanahan Kat Shanahan
I said "other" because I'm really torn. On one hand, I can definitely appreciate the reclamation of "queer" by the LGBTQ community (I feel the same way about words like "bitch" and "cunt".)

But at the same time, I grew up (and still live in) a small town where "queer" was always a derogatory term. And so I can't help but flinch whenever I hear someone use it, because it's so ingrained in me that it's a bad thing. I'm trying to get over that, but I'm having a rough time.
06/14/2011
Contributor: SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by hornypoet69
I have heard a lot of debate about this, so I was wondering what you all here think. Queer was originally used as an offensive term for gay people, but in recent years, it has come to be more of a label of pride for some. But not everyone can ... more
I hate when they use that lable as a socieal lable for thegBTL comunity but theres alot of times i use it when discrbing things in a not sexual way like how something looks now lookingback tho i try not to use it so much because it coule be offencive
06/16/2011
Contributor: Spoken Pandora Spoken Pandora
I feel that we define the label and should not let the label define us. The truth of the matter is that we will never be able to control what everyone says. Yes it hurts to be degraded by a loose tongue but I choose to no longer allow the idiocy of others to define who I am as a person. Even within our own community we sometimes put too much emphasis on labels. And I understand there is a sense of belonging when you have a group or identity to fall into. My heart use to break every time my family members or former friends would call me every evil name in the book. After a while I started thinking how stupid of me to give them so much power by allowing them to hurt me with a word. I'm taking back my label and wearing it proudly.
06/20/2011
Contributor: Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
It has been used as derogatory in the past, but really, I have lately only heard it used in a positive way. I think it is a good umbrella term that can be used without getting into specifics.
06/25/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
It's about the same reaction as when I hear African-Americans call each other the "N" word.
07/11/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
It's about the same reaction as when I hear African-Americans call each other the "N" word.
Really? Why?
07/11/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Really? Why?
You know, I really can't quite put my finger on it.

It just strikes me as off that someone or a group of people would want to reclaim a word when there are so many hateful and violent acts associated with it.

I realize there isn't an appropriate fluid term for not identifying strictly with one group or another when it comes to sexuality (which is largely why I think people should just start answering with - yes I have sex!).
07/11/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
You know, I really can't quite put my finger on it.

It just strikes me as off that someone or a group of people would want to reclaim a word when there are so many hateful and violent acts associated with it.

I realize there ... more
I can see that. I actually really like the term (as I've said above). Not just because it's being reclaimed, but because it is so encompassing of different and gender-nonspecific sexualities
07/11/2011
Contributor: KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by hornypoet69
I have heard a lot of debate about this, so I was wondering what you all here think. Queer was originally used as an offensive term for gay people, but in recent years, it has come to be more of a label of pride for some. But not everyone can ... more
It's up for interpretation and it depends on context.

I use it to define myself because I'm certainly no pan, bi, straight, or gay, but I'm also a kinkter (switch) and a fetishist. Sometimes I refer to myself as being "me-sexual" or "I do what I want to," or "open-to-suggestion."

Sometimes I feel gender-queer, but I don't identify as that. I often wonder what it's like to have a penis (I think it'd be rather fun actually), but I love my vagina and I don't feel trans, nor do i feel the need to take T or get an operation. Somedays, I feel like a guy, other days I feel like a girl (based off of society's definitions). Other days, I don't feel like I have a gender. If I were born a bio man, I would wear dresses anyway (I'd probably do drag! - I kinda want to try being a drag king. Gender performance sounds fun).

I don't really feel that I need a term, but I use it as a refernce point for other people.

Queer Pride!
07/11/2011
Contributor: KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I can see that. I actually really like the term (as I've said above). Not just because it's being reclaimed, but because it is so encompassing of different and gender-nonspecific sexualities
Exactly, it's my catch all term
07/11/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by KnK
It's up for interpretation and it depends on context.

I use it to define myself because I'm certainly no pan, bi, straight, or gay, but I'm also a kinkter (switch) and a fetishist. Sometimes I refer to myself as being ... more
I just saw some Kings for the first time. It was great. I loved every second of their performance. So much swagg.
07/11/2011
Contributor: LostBoy988 LostBoy988
In general there are way too many labels at this point.
07/11/2011