Hello Ginainohio,

I find these three things most helpful in any bedroom activity:
- Communication
- Relaxation
- Lubrication

First off, communicate your feelings with your partner. Tell her you have never done bondage or role playing before. Ask her what types of activities she has in mind. Maybe right out of the gate she wants to suspend you from chains on the ceiling. Tell her that eventually she could do that, but you will need time to work up to it. Start off with the light bondage that you feel comfortable with.

Example: loosely tied silk ribbons around the wrists and role play a nurse having to tie down a patient for a physical.

Ask each other question about what fantasies turn you both on. Maybe you will find similarities between the two of you.

Relax and trust in your partner. If you communicated with her your anxiety beforehand she should what to use a gentler touch with you. After some time some time both of you may become aroused and ready to tie the ribbon a wee bit tighter or alternate between pinches and tickles.

Before any bondage activities start form a ‘safe word’. The safe word is said out load when a partner is experiencing pain or discomfort. On hearing that word, the other partner will stop all current touching. This word should be easily identified because it would not be used in your everyday speech or not have the ability to be mistaken of any other word.
Based off experience ‘fuck’ would not be a good choice, for it could be considered a word uttered out in pain or pleasure. On the other hand, ‘dryer sheets’, is definitely not a word linked with pleasure or found within the bed room.

Lastly lubrication. If or when your activates lead to inserting objects always use lubricant. Countless times has a partner, out of the blue, decided to stick something in and unknowingly caused pain. Yes, the receiving partner can be moaning and groaning sounding like they are enjoying themselves, but it might take some time for the physical arousal to ketch up with the mental arousal. Have lubrication on hand easily available by a night stand.

I hope you find this helpful. less