The New Intimacy

A Big Transgender Issue

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Contributor: Pink Kitty Pink Kitty
Ok so yesterday I was out with friends we went to dinner, and the waiter took the orders of all my friends, and me last even though I was sitting the closest to him. When our food cam he sort of tossed it my way, and a bit of mine came off the plate and he started to pick it up with his fingers. I complained of course because in a restaurant thats just... not sanitary.

Now I am the ONLY transgender among that particular group of friends, he treated everyone else fine. When I asked to speak to the supervisor/ manager in charge, the manager treated me somewhat the same way.

I have been tg for many years NEVER experienced THAT sort of rudeness.

I know the area I live in is quite religious on a christian side. And I do get a lot of stares and remarks, however I normally shrug it off. What should I do in this situation? I mean other than a bad yelp review
01/06/2013
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Contributor: eroticmutt eroticmutt
In that situation I would have first loudly complained about your unfair and unequal treatment, let it be known that you are not happy with being discriminated against.

Do not pay for anything there. Do not cover your bill and do not allow your friends to cover it either. Tell them you are not paying because you were treated unfairly and if they treat their customers like dirt they can expect to receive dirt for payment.

They cannot arrest you for that. Legally, you are not held liable in that situation. Do not allow them to detain you. Do not stay there to talk. If the police come, inform them that the waiter threw your food onto the table and had their ungloved hands in it and you will not pay for that.

File a sanitation complaint with the local health department. That will get them hit with some fines, trust me it is very rare for a business not to make some small mistake, and these guys deserve it for singling you out for poor treatment.

A yelp review is nice and all if it makes you feel better, but you need to take an action that will actually affect the workers there, and having the sanitation inspectors come in will get everyone sweating and prove a point.
01/06/2013
Contributor: Pink Kitty Pink Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by eroticmutt
In that situation I would have first loudly complained about your unfair and unequal treatment, let it be known that you are not happy with being discriminated against.

Do not pay for anything there. Do not cover your bill and do not allow ... more
I personally didnt want to pay but they actually made us, they said they would detain us and call the police. And in that situation I really didnt think about actually talking to the police about the injustice.
All I was thinking was "OH WOW! Uhhhhhm guys wanna split this? We kinda gotta pay this out"

The manager was the one that said we had to pay or he'd call the cops
01/06/2013
Contributor: eroticmutt eroticmutt
Quote:
Originally posted by Pink Kitty
I personally didnt want to pay but they actually made us, they said they would detain us and call the police. And in that situation I really didnt think about actually talking to the police about the injustice.
All I was thinking was "OH ... more
They cannot detain you. I worked in retail for over four years- NO ONE except a cop is allowed to physically stop you from leaving. They can threaten to do so, but if you attempted to leave and they stopped you, you could sue them for holding you hostage.

If the cops came after you had left, you could not be charged with anything, especially if you informed them that they'd attempted to hold you against your will, which they do not legally have the right to do.





Just for your own safety, if you're ever in a store and they try to hold or detain you, even for FALSE charges like shoplifting if you did not, etc leave immediately!

While you may get a lot of grief by people in stores etc due to being transgender, you also can inform them that you ARE leaving and if the police show up you WILL be charging them with harassment, defamation, and profiling. It's sick but trans* people do get treated differently. We have to know our rights and not take that mistreatment, and luckily I have found that the ACLU is very helpful in solving all sorts of problems for minorities who have been wronged.
01/06/2013
Contributor: Pink Kitty Pink Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by eroticmutt
They cannot detain you. I worked in retail for over four years- NO ONE except a cop is allowed to physically stop you from leaving. They can threaten to do so, but if you attempted to leave and they stopped you, you could sue them for holding you ... more
interesting, Had I known the law a bit better, I guess I could have raised some hell eh? lol
01/08/2013