I struggled for a long time.
As a very young child, I knew I was male and felt deep shame and terror knowing that I would be met with resistance and hostility from those close to me if I tried to talk about this most basic detail about myself. This is because I tried for so long and was met with nothing but frustration and struggles.
When I got older, I didn't think of it so much. I had a lot of issues but I was more 'gender-queer' I guess you could say. I saw myself as very different and it led me to feel a lot of anger and resentment against females.
When I met my current partner he was very understanding and helped me to realize that I could change things and that there were people who would still support me even if they knew me for who I really am.
This may be a rare experience for some, but I am a gay trans man and one of the hardest things for me is that before I transitioned I was regarded as very 'attractive + desirable' to straight and bisexual men. Now I find that there are MANY less gay men than straight to begin with even forgetting the fact that I am trans. It is very hard for me to get used to this in some ways and it has caused me some insecurity, although when someone DOES seem interested in me- wow does that bring back some good feelings!