The New Intimacy

Cisgender Partner using Incorrect Terms for Privates...

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Contributor: eroticmutt eroticmutt
I have been getting a little annoyed lately and I do not know what to do. My partner is totally 100% supportive of me being FtM, and is even helping me get to the doctor so I can get on T soon and have surgery in a few months, but it really irks me that he uses incorrect terminology.

It's not all the time but I have sure been noticing it. He will refer to my dick as a clit and it bothers me a lot. I try to talk with him about it and he does apologize and says he doesn't mean to but I don't really know what can be done or if I even should do anything, or whether this will get better in the future.

Help?
03/17/2012
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Contributor: MasonJ MasonJ
Sounds frustrating, but have patience. The fact that he is totally supportive in other ways means that he's not trying to be hurtful. It's an honest mistake, most likely. Remember that it's not just a transition for us (the trans* people), but for those in our lives as well. Just remind him, gently, and have patience. That's my two cents. Good luck!
03/17/2012
Contributor: xxjoel xxjoel
I hate that shit. Just like all other misgendering and mislabeling, remind and then be patient. It's not excusable, but it IS hard for someone to look right at something and call it something different than they have been trained to call it. Never let it slide: remind him patiently until he gets it right.
03/18/2012
Contributor: lukas24 lukas24
Just remind him, he should catch on pretty quick. Just as long as he's not doing it to annoy you, he's probably trying his best.
03/18/2012
Contributor: eroticmutt eroticmutt
You guys are right. Last night/this morning totally made up for it. I guess hearing the wrong thing 1/10 times just kind of distracts me from the 9 times it goes right, and the slipups are usually never in a sexual setting, it's just during fully clothed discussion mentioning other things.

*sigh* well yeah I can see how this is an adjustment for everyone, but I hope it gets better
03/18/2012
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
Adjusting to a partner's pronouns/terminology can be tough, but just stress how important it is to you. He should be able to get it
03/18/2012
Contributor: TheParrishism TheParrishism
I would have a discussion with him. It is a mental transition for both of you. He might be uncomfortable using those words when he is in the moment. Maybe you can find different words which work for the both of you. You both have to learn what works best.
03/19/2012