Quote:
Originally posted by
Chirple
It wasn't until a few days ago that I felt completely sure.
My boyfriend and I stopped dating (we're still BFFs, nothing bad), and it made me really examine what I wanted from life.
It wasn't just that moment, but that was
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It wasn't until a few days ago that I felt completely sure.
My boyfriend and I stopped dating (we're still BFFs, nothing bad), and it made me really examine what I wanted from life.
It wasn't just that moment, but that was the biggest "switch". I knew it before, but in a relationship I became complacent and didn't think about such things as much. I let it be too much of my happiness and let it take over for some of my own problems, let it be a band-aid.
I knew it years before, but wasn't in a position to do anything and no one "believed" me back than, so I put it aside and tried to do what I could on my own.
The thing that cut into me the most was that I thought it was really odd, the idea of living a double life - a lie - and then I realised that's what I was doing.
It's okay to question, and to question for as long as you need to. If you can find a good therapist (since you need one to start HRT and such, anyway - if that's what you think you'd want), they can help you examine things in perhaps a more productive way, to help you find a conclusion naturally, but faster than you may have on your own.
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I've done the same with a relationship, used it as a mask to hide behind. Mine didn't turn out so well though, I was done and he wasn't so I had to be a bit harsh. (more than a bit actually I had to block his phone number x_x)
I've considered a therapist but that might also have to wait until I move out... my parents are highly conservative about things and they would NOT take the news well. At all. I've dropped generalized comments about the topic as a general subject and my dad was pretty scathing.
I've also done a bit research about resources in my area and there are next to none. Even groups I managed to look up don't seem to exist anymore. The only health center is about 3 hours away so I'll probably have to whittle a way through a general therapist. =o=
What was it about realizing you were living a double life that made you sure? It was just... kinda a realization that made sense? I've felt as though I were two separate people sometimes, two people that want two very different things... but that could just be me over analyzing. x_x
