The New Intimacy

Relationships: Harder for Trans* people to get into?

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Contributor: ectoBiologist ectoBiologist
I'm genderqueer, and I find it hard enough to get into a relationship when they don't know about that part of me. Is there anyone who's partner has stuck with them through your transition?
08/27/2012
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Contributor: GONE! GONE!
I feel fortunate that I was dating another trans* person when I was just starting to really try and align my life with my actual gender and how I wanted to be perceived.
08/27/2012
Contributor: Happenstance Happenstance
I am genderqueer as well. It took a long time for me to find satisfying relationships-- not so much because I'm trans*, but because I'm really slow to befriend people at all. But when I did find people that I could relate to (both of whom are trans* people, and one of whom is introverted like me), BAM, two relationships happened lightning fast. And I wasn't even looking for a relationship at the time! Now I am very happily polyamorous.
08/27/2012
Contributor: maxwe maxwe
im marrying a guy i met on fuckyeahftms.tumblr.co m so !!!! i would say it has helped actually
08/28/2012
Contributor: DarthTaco DarthTaco
I met my partner when I was still trying to present as female. Hell, I was still an active drug addict when we got together xD. He took it so badly when I first came out @_@. He wanted to stay with me though, and I knew he only needed time. I was right :'D. He came around and now he's excited for every step of my transition. Today was the first day of classes for us, and I went as male. He was more excited than I was xD.
08/28/2012
Contributor: sodapin sodapin
Quote:
Originally posted by Happenstance
I am genderqueer as well. It took a long time for me to find satisfying relationships-- not so much because I'm trans*, but because I'm really slow to befriend people at all. But when I did find people that I could relate to (both of whom ... more
Maybe I ought to just delve into the queer community a bit more :\ even if I don't really identify with it. As you've said, perhaps I'll be able to relate to people a bit more this way and relationships will evolve naturally from there.

Being stealth, I haven't had much success and I wouldn't actually know what to do if I got into a relationship with someone who wasn't aware of my situation.
08/28/2012
Contributor: Billie Bones Billie Bones
I also identify as genderqueer but I get read as female most of the time. I hang out in some fairly radical queer circles so my gender identity hasn't had much of an impact on how difficult it is to start relationships. I don't know how comfortable I would feel asking potential partners for neutral pronouns or even discussing my gender identity if I was in a more conservative crowd.
08/28/2012
Contributor: thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
The person I was dating when I came out is no longer a partner of mine, we broke up for many reasons but my gender identity was one of the factors. Since then I've only dated people who knew about my identity before we started dating, and it hasn't limited me particularly. I go to a small liberal arts college, though, so I've attended events where everyone asks for other folks/ preferred gender pronouns as a matter of course - not exactly a typical scenario.
09/01/2012